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A neighbor of mine in Colorado, "Bob Smith," was a wealthy man who owned his own airplane. He had a reputation for being a know-it-all who would dismiss any advice, on the ground that he knew better. A benign example of this occurred when Bob hired a photographer at a substantial fee to take a family portrait, and then informed her that she would only get the chance to shoot one picture. Read More
John 9
Read John chapter 9. Summation = those who are convinced they can see are blind while those who know they are blind are open to healing and wholeness.
I'm not a Bible thumper, but I think this story is the most important story in the entire Bible. How unfortunate that so many Bible proponents don't seem to get it.
very cool comment
Nice.
...
You provided very good example of human arrogance and incompetence. Why wouldn't Bob Smith permit the photographer to take few more shots than a single one?..
Convert wma to mp3 with me:)
Arrogance and Self-Esteem are opposite concepts
Dr. Greenspan, you are equating arrogance, criminality, and racism, with self-esteem, or "too much" self-esteem. But, self-esteem and arrogance are antithetical concepts. Self-esteem means valuing your mind and the facts of reality so you can make the best decisions possible for your life over time. It does not mean evasion or denial or the twisting of facts, which is consistent with arrogance, criminal behavior, and racism. "Esteem" means to respect yourself--primarily, respecting your ability to think, judge reality, make choices, and act on them, and feel you're worthy of the rewards of the good choices you make. It's true, we can make mistakes and we are not omniscient, but the person with self-esteem recognizes and respects these facts. In contrast, arrogant people, criminals, and racists have little or no self-esteem or respect for facts. I wish professionals in my field would stop equating self-esteem with acts that are clearly self-destructive.
Bob Smith
Not sure he gave a reason. Difficult people have a need to be difficult (i.e., to say "no") so he did that because that is what he did.
I never equated esteem with criminality
Please re-read what I wrote. in no way was I equating esteem with criminality, violence and racism. I was merely referring to research that shows that violent people tend to have very globally high (and unstable) self-esteem. A well-established finding.
You equate a certain level of self-esteem with criminality
You equated criminality with an "overly high self-esteem." It makes no sense to say that a medium self-esteem is good, while a higher self-esteem is "unstable" or leads to criminal behavior. There is a fundamental difference between an unhealthy or "unstable" self-esteem and having a large amount of self-esteem. The former means the person doesn't really have much respect for himself or his self "respect" is based on false beliefs (such as the racist), while the later has great respect for himself and his self-esteem is based on rational beliefs and actions over time. The person with high respect for himself would NEVER engage in criminal behavior, because he knows it is self-destructive (to his life and happiness). It is only people with low or no self-esteem that would become criminals. It is a package deal and corruption of the term "self-esteem" to equate a large amount of it with self-destructive behavior, that when someone suddenly gets too much of it, they start making self-destructive choices. That's like saying too much honesty leads to lying, or too much breathing of healthy air leads to death. And, I am not surprised that researchers in our field have misused or misdefined the concept of self-esteem and have measured criminals to have "too much" of it. The "findings" of criminals having too much self-esteem is ridiculous on its face, and makes me reject them on that basis alone.
Conclusions have changed over the years
I don't wish to insult you Steve, but research on self-esteem has advanced since you learned it. High self-esteem has its problems. Some criminals have low self-esteem, but many have overly high self-esteem. People with high self-esteem make destructive choices because they don't question their own opinions.
And here's what I hope won't insult you: I think you sound a bit like the people in the article. The research has changed about self-esteem. Researchers used to think like you do -- that high self-esteem was invariably good. Now they've changed their mind because of evidence. And yet you are sticking with the old views, not changing your mind with evidence. A bit like the pilot?
Being wrong is not being arrogant
You make some good points, but if you don't wish to insult me (or anyone else) try not to get personal. Attack my ideas if you wish, but don't comment on my intelligence, personality or behavior pattern. If you want someone to listen to you take your comment seriously, then it is wiser (i.e., less foolish) to avoid insulting the listener.
In saying that my comment on self-esteem is like the behaviors I describe in my column, you miss one important distinction: those people behaved in a risk-ignoring manner and bad consequences (such as deaths) occurred as a result. What risk did I run? That someone (who hides his insulting style behind anonymity) would disagree with me? (if I worried about being disagreed with, I would never have written anything)
In other words, foolishness (my specialty, not self-esteem) involves risky behavior, and self-esteem is one of many factors that might contribute to such behavior. Making an incorrect statement (and I think my statement was more correct than not) is not in itself foolish.
Anyway thanks for the feedback.
Steve Greenspan
Stephen Colbert
Just curious...why did you use a picture of Steven Colbert for the thumbnail for this article when you don't mention him at all?
Stephen Colbert
Just curious...why did you use a picture of Steven Colbert for the thumbnail for this article when you don't mention him at all?
Not Colbert
It is Dr. Coooper, a ictional character in Nurse Jackie. He is one of the arrogant people profiled in my piece.
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