In Therapy

I can't wait to read part II!

Looking forward to Part 2. Your posts have been very insightful into the process that is therapy. Cut & run was the route I had in mind, so I'm interested in the alternative.

This is a great article. I am going to give it to my clients. I agree that goodbye's are not taught well in our culture and it is our job as therapists to teach it to our clients.

Joe Kort, LMSW is a psychotherapist and author of several books on gay and lesbian identity and relationships. He keeps an updated website at www.joekort.com

I am glad to see your covering this topic. My recent experiences with terminated therapy (which ended in 2004) were very hurtful and unexpected. However I am grateful that I am through it all and, come what may, have no intention of ever utilizing the profession again as a means of coping with my issues.
I saw one of those last two therapists because it was required of me; nevertheless I had stupidly allowed myself to open up and trust her for nearly two years (2002-2004). However the one that was most hurtful was the one I had seen nine years (1996-2004) because I had wanted to see her. The two women terminated sessions with me within two weeks of each other because they suddenly could not accept my Christian stance on sexuality issues. I only remain perplexed by the first; but concerning the one I saw for nine years, I must say that, as much as I'd like to think that I'm over it all, I am still a little angry over her timing and the venomous way that she ended our sessions; I'd just lost my last sister and my Dad.
It has been very helpful for me to include the latter therapy experience in my book, "The Barbed Wire Fence," by Tina Peters. I am able to utilize my faith in order to continuously accept that, as much as I had come to love and respect that therapist, she was still only a therapist; a flawed human being same as I. She did the best she could as I did the best I could in interacting with her. But there had to be a better way to opt out of our sessions than the painful and traumatizing manner that she chose; a manner which left me having to find a way to acquire the closure she steadfastly refused to give me.

A very nice job, Dr. Howes, on an important topic. I happen to be one of those psychotherapists who sees the termination phase of treatment (which is really, for me, the ultimate goal of good psychotherapy) and how it is handled by the therapist as perhaps the most crucial part of the psychotherapy process. How the termination phase is handled (and this is largely the therapist's responsibility) can make or break the treatment in my opinion. As I tell my graduate students, depending upon the duration of therapy, the termination phase can sometimes require up to 25% or so of the entire course of treatment. There is much to work through in order to ready the patient to stand independently on his or her own two feet in the world, to "fly solo" as I like to say. Which, again, is for me the end goal of psychotherapy. It should also be noted that psychotherapists have an ethical responsibility (APA) to broach the subject of termination when this appears to be in the patients best interest, either because they are not benefitting from treatment or when they no longer really need it but have become overly dependent on the therapist. "Unconscious fiscal convenience" is a problematical form of countertransference for psychotherapists, and is definitely not in the patient's best interest.

See, how can we expect to be open, honest and trust our therapists when this element, among others, is hidden from us.

We aren't told about attachment, transference, eroticized transference, and then yet, we are expected to say good bye and be well?

What hurts is you all want us to go...just like everyone else in our lives have wanted us to just go away.

I'm not a reader normally but read every sentence in anticipation. This is some great clear stuff. Thank you!

Recently I ended therapy by voice mail not because of any other reason was that I didn't like someone knowing so much about me.

I loved this therapist as he seemed to have the same (odd) position on many issues as I believe in. I told him things that i told NO ONE ever. I felt he was a almost PERFECT therapist in many ways but i just didn't like the fact that i 'needed' someone that much each week. Trusting him just freaked me out and i'm wondering if i did the wrong thing now.

I didn't intend to hurt him or disrespect his professional influence in my life... I thought of it as a biz relationship and he seemed so confident so whats the loss of one client.

This was a great article again thanks!!!