In Therapy

A User's Guide to Psychotherapy

Ryan Howes, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, writer, musician and professor at Fuller Graduate School of Psychology in Pasadena, California. See full bio

May 14, 2008, Therapy

Comments on "The Many Hats of the Psychotherapist"

The Many Hats of the Psychotherapist

By Ryan Howes, Ph.D. on May 14, 2008 in In Therapy

Is a therapist like a physician? A psychic? My parents? Who is this person? Read More

a hat to add

Submitted by on May 14, 2008 - 6:16pm.

Ryan: add another hat to the ring: a fellow-pilgrim (per Sheldon Kopp). Pavel

Good point

Submitted by Ryan Howes, Ph.D. on May 14, 2008 - 10:04pm.

Thanks Pavel. Kopp's - If You Meet the Budda on the Road, Kill Him! - is a classic. The fellow pilgrim also reminds me of one of my literary/therapy heroes, Irvin Yalom, who speaks of "fellow travelers" in his book - The Gift of Therapy.

I have to ask....

Submitted by C on July 6, 2008 - 4:11pm.

If this book seems to reflect your view on how therapy 'should' work, then I have to ask... Whether traditional or modern, I'm asking for your take on this because it creates conflict in my mind about what I'm doing.
Keep in mind, I haven't read this book. Only an excerpt. What does it say? What are you saying? That man/woman is a theatrical mess and no one can teach him/her to get off the stage? That therapists should sit back and watch until the actor figures out the play is over and steps off? Is that fair to say? Is that fair to the actor?
I'm asking because I'm genuinely confused. I feel like I was fortunate enough to be introduced to a way of thinking that in many ways does make me feel like a student. And why not? I wasn't about to think this up on my own. This book almost feels as though it is poking fun at the seeking individual and mocks his ignorance.
I am being 'guided' through enlightenment. I wouldn't say 'taught' because I found this alternative by clumsily stumbling upon it. So upon asking, I was given books, or information to help me realize this study of bettering myself. But I would say my therapist is a great teacher and isn't so much a crutch but a invaluable tool who supplies lessons in which I can reference back.
So is this book you reference, frowning upon this? And if so, I'm just curious as to why. I only ask because I AM trying to make the most of my therapy, of my time, of my LIFE. So I want to make sure I'm doing it 'right'(for lack of better word).
I'd appreciate your thought or clarification on the subject.
Thanks in advance!

your comment

Submitted by Ryan Howes, Ph.D. on July 7, 2008 - 1:23pm.

Thanks for your comment, C. I'm not totally clear about your question, but I'll take a shot at it anyway. I mention two books in my comment above: Yalom's "Gift of Therapy" (2002) is written to therapists and clients, encouraging both to be honest, open and unafraid to address issues in the here and now. Sheldon Kopp's "If you meet the Buddha..." (1972) encourages clients to take psychotherapists off the pedistal of "guru" or "ideal bearers of final truths" (p. 11), and instead view them as very human fellow pilgrims. I assume this is the book you're asking about. I personally am more of a Yalom-ian than a Kopp-ian, but I believe Kopp had an important message at a critical time. The late 60's and early 70's were booming times for psychotherapy, and many people were eager to hand over the reigns to their therapist to tell them who to be and how to act. Kopp challenged this trend by proposing that there was nothing magical about therapists, rather that they are guides who help us discover our own internal purpose and meaning. Kopp would say the reading, teaching, guidance and lessons you are gaining is exactly what therapy is all about. He simply warns clients against becoming overly dependent on the therapist as the source for enlightenment. The tools learned in therapy help you 'better yourself', rather than waiting for a therapist to 'make you better.' Thanks again for your thoughtful comment. I hope this helped.

thanks!

Submitted by C on July 8, 2008 - 8:51am.

Ryan, that did help actually. I was genuinely confused about the message of the book and I can see where it can be easy to want to pass the buck to the guy who seems to have it altogther.

I was just curious about the message of the book and wondered if it would be beneficial to me at some point. I've done a lot of reading both online and off with a new drive.

I was only thrown off when I thought the message of that book (which made sense to me) clashed with the readings I'm doing now. But in your clarification, I feel better about it.

Thanks for taking the time to explain it to me!
C

transference

Submitted by sofia on September 12, 2008 - 5:42am.

isn´t it a pain in the neck for a therapist to hear every day how much a patient or client appreciates him or her?
In one of your blogs or posts you said it was a good idea to talk about whatever you wanted to, but if it´s the same thing over and over again, should the client try and contain that "demon" or side of the brain?

Thanks, you dont really need to answer, I´m in Spain, very far from Pasadena..

I appreciate that

Submitted by Ryan Howes, Ph.D. on September 14, 2008 - 11:12pm.

Greetings to you in Spain, sofia. If therapists find it a "pain in the neck" to hear a client's compliments, criticisms or repeated symptoms and blockages - they're in the wrong line of work. It would be like a plumber getting tired of leaky pipes. It's the work we're trained - and many would say called - to do. We take the clients' material and use it to understand and hopefully improve their situation. If their material is complimentary, critical or repetitive, so be it. "Containing" or restraining that "demon" only prevents us from working on it together. But here's a twist - how about talking about that very problem? Something like "I feel like I'm causing a problem by bringing this up again, so it makes me want to hold it back." That's worth a session right there! Thanks again - Ryan