Can the same traits that make a person successful also make it difficult for a person to succeed?

Affluent communities develop their own cultural norms. People living in affluent communities tend to be educated, assertive and independent. Often these very strengths that help them become successful can be the very traits that make it difficult for them to ask for help.   People may assume because affluent families have money that they do not face the same problems, as other people, in different economic classes.

This past week several parents have contacted me with a common concern.  Their adult children have run into very difficult times whether it is drugs, losing their job or using poor judgment that has resulted in catastrophic consequences for themselves and their families. All of these families live in affluent and competitive communities where accomplishments are measured by financial and educational success.  It is expected that if you are a successful and financially stable parent that your child will attend college and be successful as an adult.  When a child does not succeed the mother and father may feel they have failed at being good parents. These parents tend to blame themselves, in one way or another, for their child's misfortune.  Parents spoke about feeling ashamed, embarrassed and uncertain on how to respond to friends and other family members on this particular issue.  Some parents feared that others would take pleasure in their misfortunes.  The truth is good parents can raise children who as adults make poor decisions.