In the Name of Love

A philosopher looks at our deepest emotions

Can Jealousy Be Retroactive?

Jealousy is typically directed at the future—it involves the fear of losing your mate in the future to someone else. The loss is an imaginary possibility that has not yet materialized, but the agent suspects that it is highly probable. Can an agent be retrospectively jealous of his beloved's past behavior, which occurred before he knew the beloved? Read More

Good article!

Thanks author, I got to learn a lot about jealousy on this article. It helped me a lot, as I am also understanding about how to get rid of it from:

Great article. I've suffered

Great article. I've suffered for MONTHS from repetitive jealous thoughts about my girlfriend being with one of her ex-lovers. I'm starting to get over it now though, thanks mainly to this book:


Thanks for saying that...I bought the book.

My situation is girlfriend did some crazy shit in her 20s that I'm having some difficulty with...but we're 40 now, and we just met, so it was all before I existed. It makes me feel less foolish to see I'm not completely alone.


my name is mccart i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is, she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time.

Still I Can't

I'm married and have a high school son. Until recently, my marriage had cooled down completely. What's been connecting us is our son--neither of us wants to loose him or make him sad.
In an attempt to make our relationship better, we decided to have sex, which we hadn't had for years. Made up? It's got worse, not better; retroactive jealousy has suddenly obsessed me.
I know It's really irrational; I'm jealous about my wife's affairs that had taken place before we met. I don't ask her anything about her past relationships or experiences, but every movement she makes, and every naked part of her body, makes me suffer. And this feeling is not based on delusion, but on facts.
I don't talk about this to my wife at all; it would be unfair; she had the right to live her own life, and the past cannot be changed.
I drink alcohol but can't sleep very well. I can't watch movies with sex scenes; they make me feel pain.

You need to buy this book to get over it!

I think I've found the answer to my retroactive jealousy. After reading this book I hardly think about my girlfriend's past at all. Buy it, it's well worth the 20 some bucks.

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Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., former President of the University of Haifa, is Professor of Philosophy. His books include: In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and its Victims.


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