"I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you
All I have to do is dream." Andy Gibb and Victoria Principal
Andy Gibb, the Bee Gees singer, and Victoria Principal, the actress, sung the song that implies that lovers need merely to dream in order to sustain their love. It is evident that love requires more than just dreams to survive, but are dreams of any value in a romantic relationship? Apparently dreams were not sufficient to save Andy and Victoria's love and Andy's life. External circumstances were greater than their feelings for each other.
Let us begin from the beginning. There was a young couple who was madly in love. He was Andy Gibb, she was Victoria Principal. They dreamed of a life together. They were young, talented and so into each other. They worked together and shared everything... for a while. And when, in1981, they sung the Everly Brothers' song "All I Have to Do Is Dream," they WERE the song. Their short romance, during which they even became engaged, did not bring them much happiness. Their dream ended when cocaine came between them and Victoria left Andy, not long after they recorded this song. In 10 March 1988, after a long battle against cocaine addiction, which had weakened his heart, Andy Gibb died as a result of myocarditis (inflammation of the heart), just five days after his 30th birthday. Victoria came to his funeral but was asked to leave. However, at the moment in time that they sung about their dream, they were beautiful as their love. That moment will be theirs for eternity!
The risk involved in dreaming is if and when the dream ends, we might continue to yearn for it, and our sense of loss can grow even sharper as time passes. And when dreams end badly, our disappointment and misery can be substantial. As Otomo No Yakamochi wrote:
"Better never to have met you
In my dream
Than to wake and reach
For hands that are not there."
While an unfulfilled dream can cause a lingering sense of disappointment and sorrow, being over-occupied with our dreams carries the risk of dreaming our lives away, in the sense that it can reduce our chances of fully engaging in our more mundane but actual life. It can divert us from seeking to improve the life we have and the options that are realistically within our grasp. Dreaming of improving our current situation is always worthwhile as such dreams can become a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. However, impossible dreams about replacing our current situation can be harmful. The distinction here is between dreaming about improving our current situation and dreaming about replacing it.
We all need our dreams to sustain us, provide us with goals, and help us to make our current life more meaningful and exciting, rather than simply be content with a life that seems meaningless and dull-a life about which we will have nothing to tell our grandchildren when we are old and weary. Our dreams might not be fulfilled, but they do have an impact on the form and flavor of who we are and what we do with our life. And there is, of course, always the option that our dreams might come to pass. Lovers often maintain that they are living their dreams with their beloved. Hope may be the dreams of those who are awake, but often these are very realistic dreams.
There seems to be a third option (suggest by Nancy Sinatra), which is to have both the dream and our real life:
"You only live twice or so it seems,
One life for yourself and one for your dreams.
You drift through the years and life seems tame,
Till one dream appears and love is its name.
And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on,
Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone.
This dream is for you, so pay the price.
Make one dream come true, you only live twice."