Can we criticize (or praise) imagination in the way we criticize (or praise) actions? Most people would agree that, concerning issues of morality, actions speak louder than imagination. Accordingly, the central moral question is not "What ought I to imagine?" but "What ought I to do?" Most people would acknowledge that imagination has some relevance for morality, but there are no moral obligations to regulate sexual fantasies.

          Take this case.  A friend of mine told me that his female colleague saw it as an infringement of her personal rights if he used her (as she assumes he does), without her permission, in his sexual fantasies, even if they were completely private.  A man who disagreed with such a view argued , "If cybersex is cheating, then so is any imaginary stimulation; the only difference is that there is someone actively involved in your imagination. If someone thinks this is cheating, then they shouldn't even be reading sexually stimulating material."

          Many people have emphasized that morality includes a person's attitudes, beliefs, desires, intentions, emotions, thoughts, and imagination. It seems that such attitudes are indeed significant because they can have tremendous impact upon actions. A change in one's attitudes and other mental states may make one a bad person who is more likely to behave immorally.

          Imagination is not typically subject to moral criticism and guilt feelings because it is often not translated into actual behavior. However, imagination is not completely immune to moral criticism, since some practical implications are evident nevertheless.

Lust, which is a kind desire for sexual activity for its own sake, involves imagination. Lust is condemned in cases where sex is perceived as something that should always be a goal-oriented activity. Accordingly, in certain religious societies, the only legitimate type of sex is that intended for procreation. In such a view, any type of lust is condemned. Indeed, some religious people even believe that a man who lusts after his wife commits adultery with her in his heart (see here).

          A more common predicament concerns the impact of sexual fantasies upon actual behavior. Consider the case of a married man who indulges in sexual fantasies about a woman other than his wife, but does not act upon them. Can we say that such fantasies do not influence his actual behavior? Although the man may not have a physical affair with the woman, these fantasies influence his behavior and emotional attitudes toward his wife. The more he thinks about the woman, the stronger is the influence. Or, in another vein, we are more critical of someone who indulges in sexual fantasies all day long than we are of someone who fantasizes less frequently. If, however, we assume that the fantasies in no way influence his behavior, there are fewer reasons-if any-to morally criticize the occasional fantasies. If the man's fantasies are directed at a fictional character, our moral criticism would be less severe than if they were directed at his neighbor. The reason is again related to the fact that, in the latter case, it is more likely that these fantasies will influence actual behavior.

          Another interesting case in this regard is when a partner fantasizes about someone else while engaged in lovemaking. An obvious problem caused by such a fantasy is that the focus of attention of the fantasizing lover is not on her or his partner-as is expected in such intimate circumstances. Accordingly, if during lovemaking someone else's name slips out, the partner may be deeply hurt-and rightly so. Some people may even consider such fantasies as betrayal-it may not be actual betrayal, but it can be considered as imaginary betrayal.

          Such fantasies during sex, however, are complex. Quite often, they are the only means for some people of getting excited about their own partners. Therefore, in order to excite the partner during lovemaking, people may pretend that they are making love to another person. For similar reasons, many couples watch X-rated movies before making love.

          The active role of the participant in an online relationship raises the issue of whether electronic correspondence has already left the imaginary realm; if so, online fantasizing could be considered to constitute immoral behavior. Taking a stand on this issue depends upon the degree of reality we ascribe to such relationships. Although online affairs are similar in some aspects to lustful fantasies, people treat such affairs as being real and the very act of "chatting" is an action in itself.  Thus, their moral status becomes problematic (see here).

          The affective function of imagination involves what may be characterized as positive illusions, namely, illusions which are beneficial for us. While psychologists have typically assumed that contact with reality is a hallmark of mental health and love, there is much evidence that positive illusions are important for both our happiness and love (see here).

          To sum up, imagination in general, and positive illusions in particular, have significant role in promoting our well-being and the well-being of the people around us. In this sense, imagination can be not merely useful but moral as well. However, the great impact of imagination upon our life prevents us from dismissing it as a sheer fantasy irrelevant to moral considerations. This impact and relevancy may indeed make imagination improper. Thus, the similarity of cybersex to reality and its relevance for the agent's feeling toward his/her partner, may in certain circumstances make it improper, though less so than actual offline sex in similar circumstances.

          The above considerations can be encapsulated in the following statement that a lover might express: "Darling, I know that in your imagination another woman may look more attractive, but I am sure that in reality she does not look as beautiful as I am."