In the Name of Love

A philosopher looks at our deepest emotions.

by Aaron Ben-Zeév

What Do We Really Desire?

By Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. on October 23, 2009 in In the Name of Love

There are many aspects influencing our romantic desires, some of which relate to personality characteristics and others to circumstantial factors. In this post I would like to focus upon two major aspects-the aspect of attainability and the aspect of the reality of what we desire. With regard to this issue, there are two prevailing claims: a) our desire is greater when the object is real and attainable; (b) our desire is greater when the object is imaginary and unattainable. Which claim is correct? Do we desire the one we have more than we desire the one we imagine having? Read More

This article poses a great

Submitted by Kathy on October 25, 2009 - 10:39pm.

This article poses a great question and reveals the mystery between desiring attainable/unattainable things. I think the answer to this questions not only depends on different personality traits, like the author said, but also, romantically, being able to balance the whole "unattainable/attainable-ordeal" is the best way to keep a healthy relationship. No one wants a partner who is staple-gunned by their side every minute of the day...and no one wants their partner to fully neglect the relationship. The challenges that have attainable outcomes is what drives us, women and men alike.

reply
quote

Post new comment

Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., is President and Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. His books include: In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and its Victims.

more...