In the Name of Love

Compromising on the moral principles of life lead to depression, suppressed anger, lack of confidence and lack of self esteem. Compromises in the small things of life is the pleasure and the pain of the love game!! You win some you lose some!!

i do agree because i am a guy but i think for most women hearing something like i love you moderately could be the end of the relationship to them!!

We are learning about some compromises our 19 year old daughter has made. She was raised in a devout family, and was happy and outgoing, and emotionally close to us. We recently discovered she is having a sexual relationship with a boy she's known for years. Instead of returning to her former university this week, she has decided to stay here so she can be close to him. She is giving up a scholarship at a premier university and choosing to wait tables here - he too has left for school but is only an hour away. We were shocked and dismayed and felt betrayed by her unilateral decision without consulting us. (She said she knew we would be upset and disappointed with her so she didn't tell us.)

Then we found her diary, and read that she had been coerced into this sexual behavior. She saw a counselor back at university and then wrote: "My counselor says Jeff sounds abusive." he threatened to sleep with her friends, and did so, unless she gave into him. He called her names like "whore." She wrote, "I hate him, I hate him, I can't beleive he did this. I am never speaking to him again."

By Winter semester in 2011 she was happy to be done with him, and said she felt like her life was on track. She loved her teachers, her new friends, her dates, and her classes - according to her journal. Her phone calls to us were upbeat, and she said school had exceed her expectations. When she arrived home this spring she was radiant and had made plans to return to school, ie. housing contract, roommates chosen, school bedding and supplies stored at school.

Then she came home from school, and so did he. And they were back together - and now she acts as if she's in a trance. She has officially renounced her faith to us, is not returning to school, is staying at another friends house so she doesn't have to obey our rules - not having a sexual relationship while she is unmarried, at our home. She lied to us repeatedly in just a few short weeks. It's like she's been abducted, and she defends him fiercely. When she talks about him, it's like she's in an altered state, but not a happy one. We are trying to sort this out.