In Excess

Gambling, Gaming and Extreme Behavior

Sex Starved

‘Sexual anorexia’–according to Dr. Douglas Weiss in his 1998 book Sexual Anorexia, Beyond Sexual, Emotional and Spiritual Withholding–typically refers to “the active, almost compulsive withholding of emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy from the primary partner”. But what else do we know about this psychological condition. Read More

Just a layman here...

Can't we get out of the habit of blaming certain behaviors on abuse. Let's say that those people who withhold sex and attention from their partners are manipulative and abusive a-holes whose partners are going to be dating in short order. The manipulators will blame everything and everyone EXCEPT themselves for the consequences of their behaviors. They will soon be the bitterly divorced.

It's not blame

It's not about blame. It's about insight into how to help people overcome problems. Apparently you subscribe to the old school of " just get over it" or "just walk it off" or " it's all in your head".

The simple fact that there are strong correlations suggests that's it's not just someone needing something to blame, though that excuse does take place in some cases more than it should.

I'm assuming you're not a therapist, presumably a profession you think is just a lot of silly talk.

This is real and serious

I am female who is sexually anorexic. I lost my last marriage due to this and it was extremely painful. As much as I wanted to want having sex with my partner, I just couldn't. As soon as initiation begins, I freeze up and my sweet, loving partner turns into a terrifying man who has needs that demand to be met in the most exploitative way. This has been a pattern in every romantic relationship I've had since I was a teenager. Interestingly, I've never been abused (at least not that I can remember), but I did come from a sexually rigid family. I'm devastated that I have this condition and am dreading the hours of therapy I will need to fix it. I just hope my current partner will be able to stand with me until it gets resolved.

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Dr. Mark Griffiths is a Chartered Psychologist and Director of the International Gaming Research Unit in the Psychology Division at Nottingham Trent University (UK).

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