Impossible to Please

Handling hypercritical people at work and at home

Never, EVER Do This With a Narcissistic Boss!

This common mistake will get you into hot water faster than you can spell USED.

Narcissists give off a lot of energy. They are exciting to be around. They seem to know what’s going on with everyone, they are very plugged in, and people want to share information with them. Even if they aren’t headed towards the top, they appear that way. Narcissists are attracted to positions of leadership; they love to be in the limelight!

One of the problems with narcissistic bosses, however, is that they do not respect boundaries. Things that you say in jest or in confidence or, more correctly, things that you believe were said in jest or in confidence, will often come back to haunt you.

Because of their vibrancy and energy, you will be tempted to go outside your normal relationship with your narcissistic boss and want to connect with them on a more personal basis. You might, for example, want to be their friend or associate with them on a social basis. Perhaps he will invite you out for dinner with your spouse. Or maybe invite you to a membership with her social club. Perhaps even take a vacation with them.

Bear in mind that the narcissist is exploitative. That is one of their main characteristics. They are just using you to get something from you, be it your adoration, unique knowledge, things that you own which they want (including spouses!), or inside information that they can use in the workplace.

So, what can you do?

Always stay in your lane when you are working for narcissistic boss. The immediate gains that you get will be at best temporary and the long-term effects can be devastating. Just relate to them on a professional basis. Don’t let their false promises and invitations lure you in. Do your job well and stay in your lane. Maintain proper boundaries and you will survive the narcissistic boss.

 

 

 

Neil J. Lavender, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and a professor of psychology at Ocean County College in Toms River, NJ.

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