Imperfect Offerings

I had a similar experience as what Karen has written but mine was with psychiatric medications. I had a nervous breakdown whatever that term means..in the course of 25 years of "therapy" with a woman who had many agendas, not my health at heart, I was at a point in the 1990s put on meds. I did not want to be medicated and made repeated attempts to say so. Yet I was given from the start at least 5 drugs simultaneously and in large doses. Every few months some new drug would be added and removed so my brain was in a constant state of upheaval and desperately trying to balance itself. Not to mention as each drug was given I said "It isn't working." I gained over 100 lbs became so weak and uncoordinated I could barely move. I was constantly nauseated. I could not sleep. Constant pain. I lost my memories ie. I would step over my bicycle where it lay on the cellar floor mystified as to what it was for...
eventually the therapist retired. The psychiatrist I had at that time helped me try to heal from all the brainwashing she d done and more importantly he faced the fact that the night I took the last dose of the last drug, in spite of careful slow reductions I had seizures, was unconcious and my heart became weak and thready. When I finally came to and tried to get out of bed to use the bathroom, my feet flapped weakly and I could barely walk. That was back in 1999. You cannot blitz the brain a delicate organ of over 1,000,000,000 cells with chemicals and combinations nobody understands and expect it to be like it was before... It has taken me years without a therapist and without meds. to regain my life. I am a writer. During the "drugged years" I was unable to write poetry. I also am an artist. My marriage died because of my almost death. Financially we went bankrupt from debt incurred those years. I lost my house. Id wanted to file malpractice--I had the best lawyer who wanted to hire the top medical psychiatrist to testify in the USA..and the tragedy? my husband did not support me so by the time I was well enough to go to the attorney myself, the statute of limitations had expired..
many other bad things happened..check out my blog www.rachaelzikins.blogspot.com ....also many good things..because somewhere in there I became so angry that my life had been stolen I decided to take it back. Since 2003 I have won 8 poetry awards and published by traditional means not self-published, and many poems in single publications as well as short fiction.. two chapbooks of poetry. I founded an open mic night for poets, joined many writers groups, have competed in poetry competitions, been in art shows, joined an art co-op and settled down with a partner...check out my website if you wish www.rachaelikins.com to see my works
It ain't over til its over and nobody owns your own life but you. Each day is yours and you never get it back. I try to cram pack the lost ten years into as many cool things as I can achieve even though I live in constant physical pain with bone damage, nerve damage and other things that will never be right. I am not the same woman who was innocent at age 35 and "helped" so much. I have no children.....would I achieve what I have since 2003 if my path had been other? I don't know... but I am grateful to be not only alive but to have a quality of a life. The best revenge is success...so true.

This story gives me a new perspective and hope that when a life change comes, there may a new different and equally interesting world on the other side.

Thank you for sharing. I agree with the poster before me who said: "This story gives me a new perspective and hope that when a life change comes, there may a new different and equally interesting world on the other side." I am currently struggling with the sudden change in my physical appearance - this story is helping me.

I wish those of you who responded all the best as you go through your own life changes and accompanying perspectives. I appreciate your feedback and imagine Sandra does as well. All the best, Karen

As Karen stated, I do agree with all of your feedback. I think it is so important to embrace the future, hold dear the past, but remember to HOPE. Blessings of HOPE and love to all of you. Sandra