Imperfect Mothers

Raising functional families, one mistake at a time

Self-Care for Moms, Part 1

Why do moms find it so hard to take care of their own needs? Read More

But I already know my thing

I know what my thing is! I need to change its priority in my time management. Maybe I need to be more selfish, and thereby become a happier person, better parent, and more respected family member?

Selfless is actually selfish

Hi and thanks for your comment. I believe that it's actually an act of selfishness when a mom (or any caregiver for that matter) chooses to take care of everyone's needs before his or her own. A person who is constantly ignoring her or his own needs will eventually breakdown in one way or another (physically, mentally, emotionally) and will thereby end up being of no help to anyone. Good luck doing your thing!

I love this idea. My daughter

I love this idea. My daughter is now an independent 13-year-old and I still find the need to get some quality time alone. I find myself saying, I can't wait till summer when I can relax in the sun and read! Why should I have to wait until then? I think we all say, I'll do x,y or z when everything else is taken care of. Let's face it, "things" are always going to have to be taken care of. But, we should come first~ After all, everyone is happier when Mom is happy!!

I'm looking forward to the next two posts!!

Doesn't have to be all or nothing

Thanks for reading. I think we make the mistake of thinking that self-care has to be an "all or nothing" approach. Even a little time each day has a build-up effect. You're so right, there will never be the perfect time or place to do it. What a gift it will be for your daughter to see you taking time to care for yourself!

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Me Time

My personal "Me Time" has changed many times over the years. During the "infant" years, my Me Time was all about napping when they napped. as well as using the automatic swing. It was a wonderful time for me to sit and read or catch up on my daytime soap operas. Then along came the "Toddler Years". These years were a bit more challenging. I largely relied on other Moms with children in this age group. Just getting together moaning and groaning of how tired we were from all the chasing around we did really took the edge of for sure. The "Teen Years" is when I realized that my "Me Time" needed to done any place other than where my children were. Living so close to the mall came in handy for those nights after my husband came home from work. I would let him know I HAD to go to the mall. Window shopping became one of my favorite pasttimes along with sitting in the food court and if I was lucky got to chat with some old friends. Now that they are all adults (21, 23 and 25) and two still living at home, I make it a point to meet with the "girls" once a week and plan mini getaways, even if just an overnight slumber at a friends house, makes a world of difference to what seems now like an over crowded home lol

"Me time" activities change with time

I like your point that "me time" changes with every stage of our kids' development. I also believe that if something isn't working - then change it. Experiment with different types of "me time" until you find something that fits just right.
Thanks for reading

This advice is good not just

This advice is good not just for mothers but for all of us. Arianna Huffington just published a book called Thrive which talks about the need to unplug to stay sane.

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Andrea Fox is a stay-at-home mother and widely published author of personal essays concerning the challenges and humor of parenting.


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