How of Happiness

The scientific pursuit of happiness

Does Marriage Make Us Happy? Should It?

The evidence is unequivocal that being married is correlated with happiness. The evidence is also unequivocal that the causal direction goes both ways. That is, having a strong marriage may make us happy, but those of us who are happy to begin with appear to be more likely to attract a marriage partner and to erect an enduring and fulfilling partnership. Read More

but there was a new study

but there was a new study done comparing married and single people in relationships. And it showed over time that the married people and the single people in a relationship had no difference in happiness after 5 years.

Being Happy Will Allow Your Marriage To Last Forever

Thus, being married and staying married is clearly associated with greater happiness. This true. You yourself have to find away to be at peace which will resultof happiness. No one can really make you happy beacuse happiness comes from within you. If you are not a happy person by nature you will not attract happiness. If you ar not happy no one will like to be around you. They would be tired of your grumpiness and complaining attitude. So be able to make yourself happy will allow your partner to be happy as well. He/she will be gald to be around you all the time. If you are apart for a while they would be just longing to get back to their source of happiness. God made of to be happy. The Bible states that :A merry hear is god measure, but a sad heart dries up our bone.

So we all should pratice the art of being happy beause a happy heart will be more healthy amd last longer.

Cynthia Francis

Happiness works both ways

If you ar not happy no one will like to be around you. They would be tired of your grumpiness and complaining attitude. So be able to make yourself happy will allow your partner to be happy as well. He/she will be gald to be around you all the time.

But marriage is based on feelings and care of eachother so, if you are not happy does not necessarily means that the other one will reject you, means that the other will make everything what is possible to help, care, act to make you happy ...

But is very true, a happy marriage is made of happy individuals and also happy persons come from happy marriages.


How to even compare?

I barely know how to compare being unmarried to being married, on some simplistic linear quantitative scale. I've been married over two years now, and married life has no resemblance to my old unmarried life. I mean, no resemblance whatsoever. I might as well moved to a different planet. Therefore, I don't know how to compare meaningfully. The best I can think of is to draw up different axes of criteria. For example, losing a huge amount of my former "free time" could be considered a huge loss in marriage. On the other hand, having someone who is always (well, almost always) there for you, and feeling loved, cannot compare to anything in my single life. Being forced to compromise on a thousand different things where I once had "freedom" is both negative and positive: I've shed bad habits that nobody was around to help me kick, but I'm also having to accept various annoyances and oddities.

There's just no simple comparison between being unmarried and being married.

I want to get in on this scam, too.

There's obviously tons of money to be made measuring happiness and producing "findings". Where can I get my hands on one of those disneyometers? (It seems reasonable to name the fundametal unit of happiness the "disney".) They didn't have one at my Walgreen's. Maybe it's because they're not used orally.

Come to think of it... why isn't there one in every home already? Is this a multi-billion dollar business just waiting to be invented? Or maybe it's the one thing we can't get China to make for us?

Thank you for clearing up the

Thank you for clearing up the correlation/causation confusion that the media loves to abuse. I think too many people are not happy with the themselves, and they turn to marriage (supported by many of the articles that arose out of this study) to become happy. Looking to an external source to provide your own happiness is always a recipe for failure. I'm of the happy self first, then happy marriage camp.

Hi, I love your blog but I


I love your blog but I don't use an RSS reader. Can I subscribe by email? Thanks, Mollie

Does Marriage make us happy?

After completing 51 years of marriage, 5 children, 13 grandchildren I do believe that I speak with a tad bit of authority/experience on this subject. Marriage SHOULD make you happy. Ours does! If ypur marriage does not do everything you can to fix it but if its not "fixable" give each other the gift of moving on in life.

We have had our good times, our great times and our hard times, but through all of it no matter what, I always knew there was one person in this world who loved me -- truly loved me for who I am. I feel the same about him. Just the other day I looked at my wonderful husband and said, "how did we get so lucky to find each other!"
Absolute love trust, commitment, are important ingredients in our recipe for a good marriage.

My husband suffered from the horrible effects of diabetes for over 20 years. In 2002 I told our 5 grown children that in 6 months I would be pushing dad in a wheelchair and I meany it. He could not walk over 75 feet because of the severe painful neuropathy in both his feet, he was on 43 units of insulin and climbing, he was morbidly obese, irritable and always tired. I read a book that lead me to research and study diabetes. I put everything together and came up with a program. Within 3 months he came off of all insulin. He lost 80 pounds within 9 momths and recently he lost 20 more making it a total of 100 pounds lost. He has been in 2 5k races, nueropathy gone! Check the changes out

Marriage is loving each other. Caring and helping each other..marriage is about being 100 % honest with each other.
We both ageed that if it ended tomorrow, it's been a great ride!!

I have mixed thoughts on

I have mixed thoughts on this- another person should never make you happy or be responsible for your happiness. It's dangerous to give someone else that kind of responsibility. But a good, healthy marriage will ADD to your happiness and shold, in essence, make you more fulfilled and affect your well-being positively.

As for having less free time or more rules to adhere to (going out all night long with female friends, flirting and drinking, in a club or bar is not really acceptable married behavior, IMO) should be a fair tradeoff to feeling supported and loved. And each person is different, whether they want that tradeoff.

Very interesting

Very interesting article and comments as well.


As a therapist and life coach out of Los Angeles, I loving reading studies and thoughts on what makes us live the best life possible. Looking forward to more great reads!

reply to David V

Thanks so much for your comment!

wrong findings

Many people have fulfilled lives being single, whether they flirt or they chose to celibacy. One of the reasons why a single person might be sad is because of the bullying of married people, telling singe people to marry. Actually, if marriage was that good, everyone would be married and stay married, because evryone wants happiness.

Another thing to be said is that people have different goals. If you are a happy person, you can be single and still be happy and even blissful, or married and still be happy. Nobody has followed any group of married people. I am single and very happy, until I find the right woman. I avoid ladies who would want us as a couple to compair with the Jones on finances, kids, travelling, etc. I believe marriage leads to happiness only when you look back to it and see your grand children, but it is an illusion as you will still die and leave your grand children. It is sad that human beings have to find happiness in these structures which themselves are shaky.

Does marriage make us happy? Should It!

Is it okay to use the article title that Question ask, to start what do we got the lose when the options are before us since time past.To have close friends if it doesn't work out,so be that we spend the rest of our lives being a volunteer to an organization that is of dating for those who that of a want of being a husband or wife!

Hmmm... It depends thogh

Well, It seems that Sonja's opinion was only drawn from one side of happy couples who have Love, respect, and faith inside their family. But what about ..some couples who do not have one of those things... Well, Being HAPPY or HAPPINESS is relative, each person has her or his own definition and criteria of happiness that maybe different from person to person. SO, Happiness is a stage or set of your mind ... I am single and celibacy BUT I am damn healthy, helpful, social, and HAPPY:)))

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Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., is a social psychologist at the University of California, Riverside and author of The How of Happiness.


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