this makes a lot of sense, when i find myself happy i always find new ideas and ways of making my business more successful, on the other hand, feeling down limits my mind's potential. very nice article

I am seeking some research that looks at the tendency (if, indeed, this is a recognized tendency)that causes a person to subconsciously set up life conditions that echo old, unhealed trauma so as to enable them to re-experience the pain and have another chance to heal it. Anyone know about this?

This could be dashing to many women whose "work" is social relationships--caring for children and families--and who have often done it at the expense of other work. There was something fair about the prior studies' results announced over and over again that what matters most in the end is the quality of your relationships. The data for years has been that married women are at the bottom of the happiness scale. Should women go for their own happiness by forgoing that nurturing role? Hard to resist individually, but it can't be good for the society as a whole.

that 's very intersting!

Hi Sonja: Saw you on the Big Idea. Very impressive!

Rob
www.rob22.com
www.mfclub.wordpress.com
www.focusedintent.blogspot.com

Do you think that many will hear "Happiness Can Buy Money" and remember only that sound bite? I do.

No matter how many times Chris Peterson says "Other People Matter", "Happiness Can Buy Money" will trump his phrase. What we want to believe, we believe. Being rich and beautiful is a cultural value. My hypothesis is if you say something to support a cherished group value, most people will probably believe that statement. Its the confirmation bias at work.

"Happiness Can Buy Money" is the kind of phrase that triggers the core value of "Rich and Beautiful". "Other People Matter" is kind of a lukewarm, sappy sentiment. I am a friendly if introverted individual. I don't want other people to matter, because I find other people unreliable and selfish. In other words, they're just like me! Plus, how can you be sure they'll be around to sustain your happiness?

Then there is the issue of dosage. A potential coach needs to know how much, when, where; frequency, intensity, time, magnitude, quality. How do you prescribe "Other People"?

Who is developing the guide to interpersonal success? A big problem with "Other People Matter" is that some people are virtual hermits. Does that mean they'll be left behind in the happiness economy? What other variables can account for a rich Scrooge earning more than a poor but hopeful Tiny Tim?

Please respond to this comment.

Hi,

wonderful article. I've recently finished some research into the concept of 'meaning' at work, at the University of London.

The most surprising (and best) finding from over 400 people was that your purpose at work matters. Firstly, a stronger purpose (or high-level objective) at work predicts greater meaning at work, and in turn meaning at work predicts greater happiness. So far so obvious.

But *type* of purpose also matters. If you have a 'self-related' purpose (i.e. making money, career success, increased status) this predicts a certain amount of meaning at work. However, if you have an outward-facing, 'transcendent' purpose (i.e. having an impact on the world, improving the way the world works) then this predicts meaning to a far greater extent.

As Sonya says, meaning helps predicts happiness at work, which is a major source of happiness in life. So wanting to do somethng to improve the world is a great way not just of helping others but helping yourself as well. Suddenly the Bill Gates foundation makes perfect sense!

ps. Laura King helped inspire this work with her research, and even wrote me an encouraging e-mail along the way. My thanks to her!

Hi Sonja,
I've read your book - The How of Happiness. It's a gem! I recommend it because it's the most complete about happiness. Do you mention in your book that work is more important than relationships? I've tried to find out where in the book, but I didn't get it. Can you help me?
thanks,
Mauricio, a psychologist from Brazil.

Chicken vs. Egg???? Are you successful because you are happy or happy because you are successful. This reminds me of so many efforts that look at the "successful" person, itemize what they do and then say you too can be successful if you do these 6 things. When that doesn't work, they move on to the next philosophy that makes the rounds. In the end, capitalism works like this---for someone to win, someone has to lose. The key is to never quit and, as in Las Vegas, win 51+% of the time and you too will smile.

To paraphrase the only definition of happiness I can believe in---Happiness is doing what you like, having something to look forward to, and having someone to share it with. Money will follow---or not, but, it won't matter.

Toward the end of this article, it's suggested that we can create our own upward spirals...I find this to be another of those sorts of "American Dream" notions, however, if everyone who attempted this dream succeeded and grew wealthy, then the notion of wealth would be meaningless because we would all be equal (you can't have wealth without poverty, wealth is defined by its correlation to poverty). If we all created an upward spiral, we would be no better off than if we renamed pennies "dollars" and declared that what was once a one dollar bill is now worth $100...

There is no rich without the subsequent poor, you can't have a greater-than sum without knowing what that sum is greater than. This notion of all being wealthy and achieving the American Dream seems like such a detrimental idea to any possible happiness any American could achieve. Some will be poor, this is undeniable, are they to feel steadily dejected all their lives because they cannot reach a seat upon that upward spiral? We need to be telling people to put their self-worth in something other than wealth, we need to find happiness within ourselves, not based on something as flimsy and unsound as money, something that can be affected by random market flux, something that first of all only exists as an idea, an intangible representation ("this note is legal tender" means that it symbolizes something else, it is a mere icon of some other also intangible factor.) People who have their happiness and identity wrapped around financial worth are the same people who, when they get fired, they think their world has ended, their life was their wallet, if their wallet is empty, their life has thus been spent; these people, the believers of the American Dream, are the people who tend to be likely to commit suicide and familicide after losing their jobs.

My happiness and self-worth has nothing to do with my job or my financial achievement, it never will, because I'm not so tiny as to be contained within a wallet, I am not legal tender.