A handy overview, thanks. :)

I do some of these already, could do better on others. I look forward to reading more of your blog.

Sonja, you just gave away your book! Lovely synopsis, but come on, I paid full price.

One detour that all good self-improvement books take is a place called "nowhere to practice". There's the bootstrap philosophy that you should lift yourself up by your own efforts. I don't think that is the most motivating way to become happier.

Over at pos-psych.com they often quote Chris Peterson "Other people matter". Sonja, why don't we have a spot on your blog to publicly practice what you preach in your fine book? How about using one of those freeware forums that are easy and affordably priced? Did I miss a link?

Comments sections are great as far as they go, but a full blown forum adds to continuity and builds a history of successes practicing your 12 interventions.

So how about putting together a forum?

I consider that true long-term happiness must possess the quality of having a world view that has a paradigm of surrender of ego and a Divine source of constant joy.

Ego wants to be the Supreme Ruler. I believe this leads to psychological disorder ultimately through grandiosity or victimization. Both are the juices of jolly for the ego. Happiness comes from surrendering and letting the True Supreme Being fill the insides. That becomes bliss that is only known to those who are willing to see ego die. Not many are willing but those who are reap untold internal delights!

Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D., L.M.H.C., N.C.C.
http://www.DrSam.tv

I've spent the last few weeks trying to find an online book discussion group of people interested in discussing The How of Happiness. Yesterday, I set up a Yahoo group hoping I might find interested people. Then I found this blog and see that the author posted in June that she's working on developing something. That's great!!!!

In the mean time, I'll continue with the Yahoo group so as not to lose momentum - I've just finished the book and am anxious not to forget all the incredibly valuable lessons and activities it contains. Anyone else interested???

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/how-of-happiness

Well, Yahoo directory listing is not picking up the group I started so the new name (minus the hyphens) is:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HowOfHappiness

Thanks so much, Pat! I'll try to announce the book group wherever I can.

Thanks for a very clear summary Sonja, I'm looking forward to the book

Nice article. Its up to you. You can stay happy if you want even in the midst of problem.

To be "Lastingly Happiner" is to suffer risus sardonicus, lockjaw, trismus, the first sign of a fatal ailment; holding a smile, holding it so long it hurts. To be perpetually happy would be a terrible tragedy. Without the low notes, chipper tenor cannot coo; without distress, sans depressed, there is no rising apogee. Your turmoil makes possible your bliss, your losses make possible your gains and retains. I can't understand why so frequently articles here at PT focus on a notion of perpetual happiness, does noone understand that the world roils and boils with contrasts and disparity, we define our reality through opposites and inverses, if all we saw were bliss, our concept of hell would be recalibrated accordingly to still equal somewhere less than bliss. I'm sure there's a simple equation for it Happiness = Contentment X (Bliss - Strife). That said, Heaven, if it existed as promised, or rather, threatened, would be the very epitome of Hell because if all were shiny and beautiful and glorious and peaceful and tidy and happy, those things would quickly lose their luster, fade, decay in the mind, becoming mere meaningless puffs of tedium and monotony, because without contrast, nothing is ugly, but nothing is beautiful, if you slay the Devil, you also slay God, there exists nothing, without discrepency, there can be no happiness, there can be no peace.

Having read your blog, Is It Possible to be Lastingly Happier?, I am comforted by your belief that we, as humans, have control over how happy we are, yet I am skeptical as to how much control over our happiness we actually have. I am a huge proponent of making the most of life and being optimistic, as these techniques can help happiness flourish; however, I am convinced that positive self-talk and staying busy can only do so much.

Last year I was one of the lucky students who was able to take the popular course offered at the University of Southern California, The Science of Happiness. I had expected the course to leave me with feelings of happiness after each lecture; however, the sensation proved quite the opposite. The majority of the course focused on how HARD it is to be happy. In support of this claim, we read books such as, Stumbling on Happiness and The Happiness Hypothesis, and dissected studies that all came to the same conclusion. In your blog you provided your audience with several “happiness-increasing strategies”. These strategies included the acts of counting one’s blessings, avoiding over thinking, and committing to one’s goals. You claim that “with determined effort and commitment, anyone can learn practices and habits that will help them achieve higher levels of happiness and – even more important – to maintain those levels.” While well and good are your intentions, I am compelled to suggest that this blog over-looks the fact that life is not easy. Life can be a very mean place and everyone is equally subject to its looming presence, hence “lastingly happier” is only as good as long as you stay problem free. Good luck with that.

It is said that bad is stronger than good. For example, when prompted to recall the best and worst day one has ever had, it is, time and time again, easier for most people to remember their worst days. When asked to bet fifty dollars that a coin will land on heads rather than on tales, most people will not take the bet because the possible consequences of losing fifty dollars weighs more heavily than the possible benefits of winning fifty dollars. The fact that bad is stronger than good has shaped our society to have an overwhelming tendency to remember and imagine the problems life can produce.
But is this phenomenon really that shocking? Today on CNN, the top stories in the United States revolve around people dying in a severe flood in Georgia, sex scandals within the government, and trials for suspected terrorists. The news, reporting the latest on our current economic down turn, rising unemployment rates, and a split in the government making legislative change nearly impossible, is a constant reminder to our citizenry of how depressing life can be. I am not saying that happiness is impossible, but the mere fact that bad things happen everyday should keep people wary as to how much “happiness-increasing strategies” will actually help.

The fact that I am trying to convey is that life is more than what you make of it. We can be happy when things make us happy, and we can be sad when things make us sad. The fate of our future, more or less, lies in the hands of the unknown and when disaster strikes, we will be sad, mad, scared, and lonely; when triumph prevails we will be happy. Happiness lies on a continuum and changes with every new experience in life. The catchall phrase, “lastingly happier”, is something that cannot be attained. As much as one tries to think positively, the bad is always present in the back of our minds.

Having read your blog, Is It Possible to be Lastingly Happier?, I am comforted by your belief that we, as humans, have control over how happy we are, yet I am skeptical as to how much control over our happiness we actually have. I am a huge proponent of making the most of life and being optimistic, as these techniques can help happiness flourish; however, I am convinced that positive self-talk and staying busy can only do so much.

Last year I was one of the lucky students who was able to take the popular course offered at the University of Southern California, The Science of Happiness. I had expected the course to leave me with feelings of happiness after each lecture; however, the sensation proved quite the opposite. The majority of the course focused on how HARD it is to be happy. In support of this claim, we read books such as, Stumbling on Happiness and The Happiness Hypothesis, and dissected studies that all came to the same conclusion. In your blog you provided your audience with several “happiness-increasing strategies”. These strategies included the acts of counting one’s blessings, avoiding over thinking, and committing to one’s goals. You claim that “with determined effort and commitment, anyone can learn practices and habits that will help them achieve higher levels of happiness and – even more important – to maintain those levels.” While well and good are your intentions, I am compelled to suggest that this blog over-looks the fact that life is not easy. Life can be a very mean place and everyone is equally subject to its looming presence, hence “lastingly happier” is only as good as long as you stay problem free. Good luck with that.

It is said that bad is stronger than good. For example, when prompted to recall the best and worst day one has ever had, it is, time and time again, easier for most people to remember their worst days. When asked to bet fifty dollars that a coin will land on heads rather than on tales, most people will not take the bet because the possible consequences of losing fifty dollars weighs more heavily than the possible benefits of winning fifty dollars. The fact that bad is stronger than good has shaped our society to have an overwhelming tendency to remember and imagine the problems life can produce.
But is this phenomenon really that shocking? Today on CNN, the top stories in the United States revolve around people dying in a severe flood in Georgia, sex scandals within the government, and trials for suspected terrorists. The news, reporting the latest on our current economic down turn, rising unemployment rates, and a split in the government making legislative change nearly impossible, is a constant reminder to our citizenry of how depressing life can be. I am not saying that happiness is impossible, but the mere fact that bad things happen everyday should keep people wary as to how much “happiness-increasing strategies” will actually help.

The fact that I am trying to convey is that life is more than what you make of it. We can be happy when things make us happy, and we can be sad when things make us sad. The fate of our future, more or less, lies in the hands of the unknown and when disaster strikes, we will be sad, mad, scared, and lonely; when triumph prevails we will be happy. Happiness lies on a continuum and changes with every new experience in life. The catchall phrase, “lastingly happier”, is something that cannot be attained. As much as one tries to think positively, the bad is always present in the back of our minds.

I absolutely agree with you! You may be interested in taking a look at my book, The How of Happiness. One of its major themes is that becoming happier takes WORK -- a great deal of effort and commitment. Of course, this is true for any meaningful goal in life - whether it's raising kids, advancing in one's career, or losing weight.

Hi Sonja,

I have a question for you that is not directly related to your article.

I just received your book and am excited about it. Reading through I noticed that you did not recommend journaling about life pleasures. I wondered what your opinion was of drawing journals and, since I intend to keep one, I was wondering if you could give me any pointers so that this activity could add to my general happiness. An example of what I mean by "drawing journal" is the work of Dan Price who makes the moonlight chronicles (he's a hero of mine and his website moonlightchronicles.com)

First, would it be better to try to capture pleasant moments in drawing or on camera as they happen? Or would it be better to relive them afterwards and do a drawing that was somehow suggestive of them? Or, should I simply draw things I like unrelated to any kind of situation?

Does drawing a pleasurable scene or moment diminish it's pleasure the way that writing does?

Does writing a simple caption diminish the pleasure? Is even that too analytical?

If this activity would contribute to my happiness, what would be the ideal amount of time to spend doing it?

I love your book so far. Thanks for your help with this in advance.

Thanks for your kind words. You bring up some really valid points. Indeed, one of the themes of my book is "fit" - namely, that it's important to choose the activity (and the mode of practicing it) that's right for you. If the fit is good, you'll put more effort into it, be more likely to stick with it, and benefit from it more. So, I can't really answer each of your questions precisely, because the answer depends on your personality, goals, interests, etc. You'll want to do some self-experimentation to determine the optimal timing (e.g., every morning or every Sunday night) and the optimal way of practicing a particular strategy (e.g., drawing vs. photography vs. writing; with or without captions; before vs. after, etc.). Good luck!