Hollywood Ph.D.

Get your doctorate in pop culture.

by Ted Cascio

House & Psychology, Episode 23

For my money, one of the least ambiguous passages in the Christian bible is Matthew 19:24:

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Alright, that sounds perfectly straightforward. Ritzy folks get everlastingly pitch-forked in the rump after they die. Ten-four, big buddy. Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 22

Ben: "We were in a fight. Doesn't mean she's depressed and it doesn't mean she doesn't love me."

House: "Fine, maybe the diary proves nothing. On the other hand, half the country's on antidepressants. And it fits her symptoms perfectly."

(Alone Season 4, Episode 1)

Dear House,

Really? You think "half the country's on antidepressants?" Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 21

House: "If the increased pain's psychological, no drug's gonna help."

Wilson: "If you think it'll help the drugs will help. Power of the mind."

House: "You're right. The more I talk to you, the more the pain floods back."

(Skin Deep Season 2, Episode 13) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 20

Wilson: "MRI looks exactly the same as it did two years ago. Nerves don't seem to be regenerating." House: "I figured as much." Wilson: "Several researchers have proven that psychological pain can manifest as physical pain." House: "You think I have a conversion disorder? You want me to see a shrink."

(Skin Deep Season 2, Episode 13) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 19

[After House has crashed his car into Cuddy's living room]

House [to Wilson]: "You're right. I feel much better."

(Moving On Season 7, Episode 23) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 18

Cuddy: "She's called you 15 times! Your mother is not that interested in you!"

House: "Well, maybe I'd be better adjusted if she was!"

(Lines in the Sand Season 3, Episode 4) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 17

Chase: "Why does everybody need to know my business?"

House: "People like talking about people. Makes us feel superior. Makes us feel in control, and sometimes, for some people, knowing some things makes them care."

(Cursed Season 1, Episode 13) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 16

House: "Studies show that ten dollar wine tastes better when you're told it cost ninety dollars. I'm sure the same is true of grape soda."

(Known Unknowns Season 6, Episode 6) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 15

Taub [when House's helicopter hits him in the head]: "Ow! What the hell!"

House: "Negative reinforcement."

(Fall From Grace Season 7, Episode 17) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 14

Masters: "It's mundane and simple. He is obviously a [slight pause] very blessed specimen so from an evolutionary point of view he'd produce healthy offspring, so my prefrontal cortex is telling me...I should have sex with him."

Taub: "Oh, is that all?"

Masters: "Yes, my rational brain knows he's a hillbilly and an idiot." Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 13

Cameron: "Black defendants are ten times more likely to get a death sentence than whites."

Foreman: "Doesn't mean we need to get rid of the death penalty, do we? It just means we need to kill more white people."

(Acceptance Season 2, Episode 1)

Hahahahah! Zing! Nice one, Foreman. Way to lighten the mood. You can just shut it Cameron. Read More

House & Psychology Episode 12

House: "Figured if I asked for something really crazy she'd shoot me down, get the 'I can control House' thing out of her perky little system so the next time I went to her with something only marginally crazy, it would seem marginally reasonable and she'd say 'yes.'"

(Big Baby Season 5, Episode 13) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 11

House: Happens often in high-anxiety situations, especially to women. I know it sounds sexist, but science says you're weak and soft. What can I do?

(Airborne Season 3, Episode 18) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 10

People don't change. For instance, I'm going to keep repeating "People don't change."

- House (Don't Ever Change, Season 4, Episode 12) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 9

House: "Miserable stays miserable. Happy doesn't buy lottery tickets in the first place."

Thirteen: "Our level of happiness is set. It's in our DNA. No cash payout's gonna change that."

(Changes Season 7, Episode 20)

Wait, what? That can't be right. Can it? Our happiness is set? In our DNA? What the heck is Thirteen talking about? Read More

Op-Ed: The Kanazawa Fiasco

Dude had it coming? Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 8

Psychologists have found that shape preference represents a pretty basic personality trait. Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 7

Masters: "She could die."

House: "Pretty sure the law of the land states that everyone has the right to be an idiot. I think it's the Second Amendment."

(Last Temptation Season 7, Episode 19) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 6

"People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it."

- House (Instant Karma; Season 6, Episode 4) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 5

Emmy: When I got the surgery, I got healthy, and when I got healthy, I got happy.

Taub: I'm not sure you're happy, but if you are, being healthy didn't do it, being pretty did. Poop in the bedpan.

(Let Them Eat Cake; Season 5, Episode 10) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 4

"You know how some doctors have the Messiah complex - they need to save the world? You've got the Rubric's complex; you need to solve the puzzle." -- Wilson to House (Season 1, Episode 9) Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 3

"Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything." Read More

30 Rock & Psychology, Episode 2

The following dialogue takes place right after Liz barges in on a visibly disconcerted Jenna dramatically singing the chorus to Alphaville's late-eighty's hit "Forever Young" while applying tape to the sagging and wrinkled regions of her aged face:

Jenna: (singing) Forever young, I wanna be forever young. Read More

Oprah & Psychology, Episode 3

Delving even deeper into the warm folds of Oprah's ever-plausible advice. Read More

Oprah & Psychology, Episode 2

Oprah, you've done it again!!! Read More

Dr. Phil & Psychology, Episode 2

Redressing Dr. Phil's crimes against humanity, one inaccuracy at a time. Read More

No Reservations & Psychology

Cooking class is in session, y'all! Read More

House & Psychology, Episode 2

Is House still awesome? Read More

The Simpsons & Psychology

There's at least one obvious way to fix The Simpsons. Read More

Black Swan & Psychology

Wherein Black Swan Theory is adapted to Black Swan the movie. Read More

Ted Cascio, Ph.D., teaches psychology at Universidad de Deusto in northern Spain.

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About Hollywood Ph.D.

This blog contains my reflections on the psychological state of affairs in pop culture. Sometimes television and movies enlighten us about human nature. At least as often, however, these entities mislead us. Somebody should take pop culture to task; that is the job I am undertaking here. Primarily, you will gain a more sophisticated perspective on your preferred TV shows, movies, and (occasionally) commercials. My aim is to foster extraordinary viewpoints in you, my readers.