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As the writer of Psychology Today's High Octane Women blog on women and stress, and the author of the book, High Octane Women, I receive a lot of correspondence from women who read my work, but you may be surprised to know that a large number of those letters are not comments or questions about high-achieving women or stress. They're about writing. And not writing as a stress reliever; writing as a writer. In fact, many of the women who contact me say that it's their lifelong dream "to be a writer."
It's not surprising when you recognize that high achievers tend to be highly creative people, which falls right in line with writing. In fact, Kelly L Stone, author of Time to Write, says that a "burning desire to write" is often what motivates creative high achievers.
But if your dream is to become a writer, there's one critical question that you need to ask yourself, and that is, what is a writer?
I know. You're waiting for the punch line. But it's not a trick question. How you define being a writer is key to accomplishing your dream of becoming a writer, and here's why.
Simply defined, a writer is someone who writes. So for those of you who dream to be a writer because it's your passion, it's what you love to do, then it's hard to imagine that you haven't already accomplished your dream. If you love to write, then chances are you have written in some way, shape, or form much of your life. Therefore, by definition, you are a writer.
But of course, that's the simple definition, and as high-achievers are prone to do, the simple can become complicated. For example, some women say, "How can I call myself a writer if I've never had anything published?" or "Every time I submit something to an agent or publisher, it gets rejected."
Understandable points ... as long as you understand that you just changed what you're defining. From my perspective, when you start talking about publishing and agents and getting paid for your writing, you're no longer talking about writing. You're talking about the business of writing. And because these are two very different things, they have two very different definitions.
Would you define a dog and a wolf exactly the same way because they're similar? I would hope not. They're very different animals.
Well, the same holds true for being a writer and being in the business of writing. These are very different animals that are likely to lead you down two very different paths, so it's important not to confuse the two simply because they look a lot alike. If you do, you're taking a very big chance of being eaten by a wolf that you've mistaken for a dog.
So to all my readers who dream of being a writer, here are a few words of wisdom to help you avoid being eaten by a wolf as you pursue your passion ... from someone who has spent a lot of time with both of these animals and am still alive to tell about it.
1) Writing is a very personal thing. If you write about what you love, then the rest will fall into place. If you write about "what's hot" or what you think will "sell" best, it's almost certain to fail.
2) Make sure you understand how you're defining your dream before you start pursuing it. If you want to be a writer, that's easy. Just start writing. Write whenever you can catch a few free moments--before you go to bed, when you wake up, on your lunch break. It doesn't matter when you do it or how well you do it because you're writing for you. If that writing later gets published, that's a bonus (if that's what you want).
3) There is no "good" or "bad" writing until you start judging it or you allow someone else to judge it. In fact, if judging isn't a part of the picture, writing can be very stress-relieving, especially if you write just for the love of writing.
4) If you decide that your dream is not simply to be a writer, but to be in the business of writing, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that ... as long as you understand what that means. As I said above, when you're writing to be a writer, there is no "good" or "bad" writing. However, when you submit your writing to the publishing world, that changes. You're inviting other people to judge your work (that's right, in the business of writing, it's called work), and their view of good and bad is always--yes, always--based on how many books they think they can sell or how many more readers they think they can draw in with your work. It's a business just like any other, and all businesses have to consider the bottom line. It's also one of the most competitive businesses in the world so even if you're "good" at the business of writing, you should expect, at least starting out, to get many more rejections of your work than acceptances. It's the nature of the beast.
5) Most importantly, there is no reason you can't pursue two dreams at one time--being a writer and being in the business. People do it all time. I've done it and I continue to do it. But know this: if you succeed in the business and your writing (or at least some of it) switches from writing to work, then all the stress of a regular job (and usually more) are going to come with that work--demanding deadlines, working with agents and/or editors who want to change what you may think is already perfect, finding time to market your work, traveling to promote your work, expectations for more great work (as defined by how many people will read it) from you, etc.
Hopefully, you can see how quickly what you thought was your dream can turn into a nightmare, and how something that was once stress-relieving can become stress-generating if you're not ready for it. Like most things in life, it not only has to do with being committed, it has to do with being prepared.
I wish you a ton of success on whichever path you decide to take. Knowing high-achievers like I do, I suspect that as long as you remember to keep the wolves in check and the dogs close to your heart, you'll do just fine.
Feel free to share your writing stories of success, frustration, or disappointment with readers in the comments section below.
© 2012 Sherrie Bourg Carter, All Rights Reserved
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Sherrie Bourg Carter is the author of High Octane Women: How Superachievers Can Avoid Burnout (Prometheus Books, 2011), and four other books including Justice for All (2009) and Children in the Courtroom (2009)
