Here, There, and Everywhere

Time management and organization skills from an ADD expert

6 Ways Texting Is Ruining Your Dating Life

Is your texting getting in the way of dating success?

1.  You replace talking with texting.

Face it, being asked out for a date is so much better when someone calls or asks you in person - not when he or she texts you. Texting for a date conveys laziness. If you really like someone, take the time out to actually talk to them. Likewise, if things just aren't going to work out with someone, don't text them. Call.

2.  You text during a date. 

When someone is talking with you, put the phone away. Answering texts while you are on a date is just rude. It gives the message that you don't care about what your date is saying (and it shows a lack of respect). Even if you think that texting during a date is generally accepted behavior, be different than everyone else. 

3.  You use texting to avoid intimacy.

Texting conveys short bits of information, but it doesn't replace bonding and intimacy. Bonding and intimacy are formed by sharing yourself (emotionally, intellectually, physically) with someone else. Texting just doesn't get the job done. Look at whether you are texting someone primarily because real intimacy freaks you out.

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4.  You bicker over text.

You'll text things you would never actually say to your date's face. If you are having a disagreement, hold off until you can actually see the person. If seeing someone in person is geographically impossible at the moment, wait until you call him or her. Tone of speech can't be conveyed on text, and that can just lead to more confusion and hurt. If you're already bickering at the beginning of dating, take a look at whether the two of you are really compatible. 

5.  You only do sexting with your date. 

If you're looking for a long-term relationship, this is usually not the way to go. See #3. Sexting doesn't create intimacy. It may temporarily fire you up, but it's difficult to build a long-term relationship just based on sexting. There's something to be said for lending an air of mystery at first, and building up intimacy in person. 

6.  You use texts for instant gratification. 

You get upset when the Girl (or Boy) of Your Dreams doesn't text back immediately. That's life, though - people have jobs. And they are busy. Answering your text, as much as someone may adore you, is not on at the top of the priority list. Especially when they have a job that needs their full attention.  

www.stephaniesarkis.com

Copyright 2012 Sarkis Media LLC

Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., N.C.C., L.M.H.C., is the author of Making the Grade with ADD and ADD and Your Money. 

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