Sometimes we can't tell the good news from the bad. It's only in hindsight that our perspective gets clearer and generally all news can have something good in it if we are willing to look at the bigger picture.
In today's blog we'll take a moment to reflect on one of your bad times.Think back to a time when you experienced a significant disappointment, loss or hurt. Start with something less intense, not the worst thing that ever happened.
Remember the initial shock and pain of the unexpected event. You might have been angry, afraid of what you would have to do next, embarrassed that you were partly to blame, questioning your hopes and dreams, mad at God, reluctant to risk again, feeling victimized by someone or something that you didn't feel you deserved.
At that moment you probably felt incapable of getting through it. Depending on the severity, it may have taken minutes, hours, days or months to recover your emotional well being and confidence.
With that example in mind ask yourself the following questions:
What if anything did you learn from this event about life, yourself, your work . . .?
Did you try to forget it and move on or did you take time to process what happened?
Did this painful experience launch you into a new level of awareness?
Did it prompt you to take action or change something?
I'll never forget the day I was fired from my first job early in my chosen career. I spouted off to my boss in an insubordinate manner and he fired me on the spot.
I was indignant, righteous and devastated. After all, I was the best counselor they had, worked the hardest, blah, blah, blah...... I thought my world had come to an end. As a very young and divorced single parent, I didn't know how I would survive. I was also ashamed that I had done a stupid thing that caused my fall from grace. I did not have a back up plan and was terrified to move forward.
Once I got past the shame and anger I started to channel that energy into proving my worth and making a plan for my life and my son's. My fear began to lessen as I took one step at a time toward my future.
One year later I finished my Masters Degree and became the Director of a program where my duties included supervising other counselors. My humiliating experience became the best lesson of my career. I learned how to supervise in part from the incompetence of my former boss.
In the process I learned that working hard was not as important as working smart and that I needed to mature and learn how to work in an imperfect world by keeping my eyes on the big picture not only on the flaws and problems that exist in every system.
Take a moment to really think through the questions I asked above. In PART 2 of this blog we will further examine how emotional pain can actually benefit us in life.
Ann Smith is the Executive Director of Breakthrough at Caron. For more information, visit Breakthrough online or like Healthy Connections on Facebook.
