Happiness on Purpose

Strategies to create a life you love to live

Happiness With Others 7: Be A Relentless Giver

A sure fire path to happiness is to focus on being a giver, not a getter. By doing so, you get double the bang for your buck: you get the pleasure of giving, then the pleasure of the appreciation you get in return. Find out the whys and wherefores in this Happiness On Purpose blog, "Be A Relentless Giver." Read More

Giving is awesome; overgiving

Giving is awesome; overgiving is terrible. Being an overgiver yourself exhausts you and makes you feel unappreciated; being around someone else who's an overgiver makes you feel anxious and guilty.

So, I'd add to the excellent advice in your article: give, but make sure to include giving to yourself, as well as giving to others.

and to add to that ...

I would add to the previous note that there needs to be recognition that some people simply do not show appreciation. I don't believe I overgive, but I have had many experiences where I stepped up, contributed, did my part and more when others weren't willing to, and received no acknowledgment in return. It takes a certain amount of generosity of spirit to recognize the generosity of others, and I've met several people who apparently aren't capable of it.

Giving to Narcissistic Family Members

The tone of this article is a bit simplistic. Until I literally "woke up," I spent decades giving relentlessly to self-centered family members who only used and took. My cousins pointed out that my loyal generosity was unappreciated by my abusive mother, my siblings and their equally selfish children; all of these takers belittled me and told lies about me behind my back. I sowed pure love, only to reap hatred and contempt in return.

Needless to say, my cousins are my REAL family today.

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Russell Grieger, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice, an organizational consultant and trainer, and an adjunct professor at The University of Virginia.
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