Don't think I haven't heard your confused, angry whispers,
Who is this Elizabeth Beckwith character and where does she get off blogging for Psychology Today?
She has no PhD and used the word "balls" twice in her first post, and again, just now. Three Balls!
Not to mention the fact that she clearly lacks the discipline to proof-read considering her first post had several typos, and this one, no doubt, will have several more!
I'm supposed to take advice from this woman? The Audacity! She is so narcissistic that she has the nerve to write up fictional statements made by "readers" as if no one has anything better to do than to discuss her and her ridiculousness! Newsflash lady, no one is having this conversation!
Whoa! Calm down angry people in my head that I kind of wish really existed because that would somehow be validating. Seriously, calm down.
I hate to use nepotism to move up the ranks and garner respect, but I'm about to. Although you may not be familiar with my work, perhaps you are familiar with the groundbreaking work of my mother, founder of Reverse Psychology Today* . The magazine that opened the minds to a generation of parents, teaching them that the best way to get your kids to do exactly what you want them to do, is to trick them into thinking they are doing exactly what they want to do. Or perhaps you are a fan of my father's best-selling book, I Know A Guy** , in which he recounts his various "connections" and reminds us all that, when it comes to your children (or tickets to an important sporting event) there is no shame in asking even the most remote connection for a favor. I use the methods of my parents as a jumping off point in my forthcoming book, Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation*** . I guess that is why I am here. Now that my book is finally coming out, people are realizing how much they really need guidance from The Guilt and Manipulation Institute (AKA the Elizabeth Beckwith Institute for Guilt and Manipulation Studies). You're welcome. I'm happy to be here too.
Yes, I was so inspired by my amazing parents that I wrote an entire book based on my interpretation of their "method." It has lots of fun chapters including:
Mind Control: Why It's a Good Thing
Don't Be Afraid to Raise A Nerd
How To Scare the Crap out of Your Child (In A Positive Way)
The good folks at Psychology Today asked me to create a blog based on the themes of the book. So, I guess that's why I am here. I promise I will make you proud, psychological community, and I swear I will only reference balls if it is absolutely necessary.
*Not an actual publication. I am legally required to mention this for the satire impaired.
**Ditto.
***This one is real, don't be fooled by the title, this time I am serious. I actually wrote this book and it is coming out October 6th. Really.
