the only disorder involved with your comment is to somehow have convinced yourself that you arent flamingly gay. there is no such thing as gay sex to show "power". the only power you have proven is the ability to completely delude yourself. go to a gay bar and be powerful, be superman. enjoy.
Steven:
As a clinician, my most unsual encounter with a paraphila was a patient who was sexual aroused by the cutting of female hair. One (convert) requirement for him to maintain a relationship was that he be able to attend salon appointments with his SO.
Thoughts?
Blessings,
Michael
if cutting hair was all i needed to get off, you'd see a chain of free hair cutting salons popping up all over the country. that's not a disorder; that's a jackpot.
Submitted by david Petropoulos on June 7, 2008 - 10:09am.
One must mention what brings about all of these irrational thoughts and feelings-mood disorder also known as depression and what is, but hardly known by the name of ''mental illness'. -sincerely David Petropoulos
Submitted by Anonymous on June 18, 2008 - 12:34pm.
i am dealing with a guy who wants me to boss him around. he wants to be my slave. it intregued me at first but now its just getting scary. he wants me to tell him everything. what clothes to wear, what shoes to wear, what he says to his friends, what he does in bed... he does nothing unless i tell him to. i even have to tell him to go to work. he calls me madam. what do i do? im starting to think he has a real problem.
Submitted by Anon (F, 27) on June 24, 2008 - 6:29am.
Anonymous,
Your guy's desires are not uncommon, but he's taking it too far if he wants you to control every part of his life. There are people who live like a slave to their partners 24/7, but that's far too big a demand on you if you're not into it.
Tell him it's not going to be like that, that you'll be his mistress in the bedroom every now and then, but only if he gets his sh*t together and not act like a spoiled brat OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
If it's got to the point that he won't do anything unless you tell him, you've been indulging him too much already. I don't think he has a "real problem", I think you need to lay down the line.
He needs to appreciate that keeping a slave happy is hard work, much harder than BEING a slave is, and that it's not fair to demand this from you all the time. You can get some books and other info on BDSM play, too.
Submitted by Anon (F, 27) on June 24, 2008 - 6:39am.
Dr Lamm, correct me if I'm wrong -- laygirl here -- but aren't these behaviours disorders only if they cause distress and confusion in the patient, or if acting on the impulses is criminal?
In one post, you seem to kind of lump together everyone from pedophiles to women who enjoy a spanking. Isn't there a significant difference there, even from a diagnostic point of view?
Submitted by Vinay Chaganti on October 3, 2009 - 4:01am.
Dear Steven,
Would it be fair to say that these perverts are not necessarily by impulse?
One of the doubts I have is that these perverts were strongly influenced by certain contexts in their life time which left deep impressions in their mind. These impressions actually manifest themselves in the form of a desire to try, and then controlling such desire to try probably leads them to extremist behavior, finally perverts.
If so, then the each case shall have its own root and shall have to be treated differently; one of the examples as given by Micheal J Formica, where the pervert was sexually aroused by cutting a female's hair.
Throw some light on this, and you may indicate some research if exists in this direction...
Homosexual Behavior
Would same sex encounters be consider a disorder if the act was done on a level of showing power?
same sex encounters
the only disorder involved with your comment is to somehow have convinced yourself that you arent flamingly gay. there is no such thing as gay sex to show "power". the only power you have proven is the ability to completely delude yourself. go to a gay bar and be powerful, be superman. enjoy.
power
"hey bruce, how's the wife?"
"good, thanks, and yours?"
"good, thanks"
[changes the channel to another football game]
"hey, you feeling powerful?"
"sure am, todd"
"LET'S F*CK!"
My nost unusual...
hair cutting fetish
if cutting hair was all i needed to get off, you'd see a chain of free hair cutting salons popping up all over the country. that's not a disorder; that's a jackpot.
One must mention what brings
One must mention what brings about all of these irrational thoughts and feelings-mood disorder also known as depression and what is, but hardly known by the name of ''mental illness'. -sincerely David Petropoulos
depression
now that you mention it i am really depressed. i just found out that my stake in kinemed isn't worth $6,500,000, it's only worth $5,200,000.
this is depressing.
slaves
i am dealing with a guy who wants me to boss him around. he wants to be my slave. it intregued me at first but now its just getting scary. he wants me to tell him everything. what clothes to wear, what shoes to wear, what he says to his friends, what he does in bed... he does nothing unless i tell him to. i even have to tell him to go to work. he calls me madam. what do i do? im starting to think he has a real problem.
Try reading "When someone
Try reading "When someone you love is kinky" by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt.
Anonymous, Your guy's
Anonymous,
Your guy's desires are not uncommon, but he's taking it too far if he wants you to control every part of his life. There are people who live like a slave to their partners 24/7, but that's far too big a demand on you if you're not into it.
Tell him it's not going to be like that, that you'll be his mistress in the bedroom every now and then, but only if he gets his sh*t together and not act like a spoiled brat OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
If it's got to the point that he won't do anything unless you tell him, you've been indulging him too much already. I don't think he has a "real problem", I think you need to lay down the line.
He needs to appreciate that keeping a slave happy is hard work, much harder than BEING a slave is, and that it's not fair to demand this from you all the time. You can get some books and other info on BDSM play, too.
Good luck.
Disorder?
Dr Lamm, correct me if I'm wrong -- laygirl here -- but aren't these behaviours disorders only if they cause distress and confusion in the patient, or if acting on the impulses is criminal?
In one post, you seem to kind of lump together everyone from pedophiles to women who enjoy a spanking. Isn't there a significant difference there, even from a diagnostic point of view?
I look forward to your future investigations.
Root of the problem
Dear Steven,
Would it be fair to say that these perverts are not necessarily by impulse?
One of the doubts I have is that these perverts were strongly influenced by certain contexts in their life time which left deep impressions in their mind. These impressions actually manifest themselves in the form of a desire to try, and then controlling such desire to try probably leads them to extremist behavior, finally perverts.
If so, then the each case shall have its own root and shall have to be treated differently; one of the examples as given by Micheal J Formica, where the pervert was sexually aroused by cutting a female's hair.
Throw some light on this, and you may indicate some research if exists in this direction...
Thanks
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