Great Kids, Great Parents

Infant/Child Development and the Importance of Children's Feelings

by Paul C. Holinger, M.D.

Self-Awareness and Language: Saying “Yes” to “No”

In our recent newsletters, we have focused on the transition from infant to toddler. We suggested that three important aspects of development occur during this period which can help us understand toddlers. Read More

The Power of Translation

In the last several posts, we have been focusing on the transition from infancy to toddlerhood. In particular, we have highlighted the onset of language, and the importance of translating the child's early words back to the feelings these words express. Read More

Before Children Talk ... They Understand a Lot!

When we talk about the importance of language, we almost automatically think in terms of when the child begins to speak. But long before your child speaks, she is listening—and understanding far more than we used to think. Read More

From Infant to Toddler: The So-Called "Terrible Two's"

Our experience of feelings changes when words are possible. Read More

The Problem with Physical Punishment

In the last several newsletters, we have focused on the universal built-in feelings with which all human beings are born. We described how the work of Darwin, Tomkins, Ekman, and others have shown that human babies are born with various responses to stimuli. These we call feelings: interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dissmell [reaction to noxiou Read More

Adoption: An Essay

Adopting an Identity Read More

The Many Faces of Adoption

Adoption is stunningly multifaceted. The poem below was written by a friend of mine. It addresses so many important psychological issues, and I will let it speak for itself. Read More

The Three Keys to Dealing with Feelings

In infancy, there are various responses to stimuli, which later become our feelings and then our more complex emotional life. The question is: How do we use this information? That is, can understanding the embryology of feelings help us with infant and child development? Read More

The Embryology of Emotional Life

"We don't have to choose whether an expression is part of an emotion or a communicative signal. In reality, it is both..." — Paul Ekman, 1998, in Charles Darwin's The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (Third Edition), 1872. If feelings are so important—they do cause behaviors, after all—what are feelings? How do they work? Read More

The Revolution: Feelings, Language, and Knowledge

There is a revolution occurring in infant and child development. Three issues have converged recently to help us understand much better the world of early childhood and how we can help our children get off to a good start in life. Read More

Self-Esteem

"Self-esteem" is one of the most discussed issues among parents and infant and child developmentalists. Psychologically, self-esteem can become quite complicated, but let's stick to the basics and see if we can shed some light on it. Read More

Discovering Our Children's Interests

"We labor under a sort of superstition that the child has nothing to learn during the first five years of life. On the contrary the fact is that the child never learns [afterwards] what it does in its first five years." Read More

Turning Things Upside Down and Inside Out

"As soon as I could talk, I was ordered to listen" - Cat Stevens

Sometimes turning things on their heads - turning things upside down - allows us to see issues differently and make important changes. Such is the case with two areas in child development. The question at stake involves the importance of learning about the inner world of the child. Read More

Kids, Parents, and Video Games

Video games stir up more controversy between kids and parents than almost anything else. Kids love 'em - and parents, well, at best have mixed feelings about them. Read More

Two Great Sources for Ideas About Infant and Child Development and Parenting

I would suggest there is nothing more important to the preservation and advancement of human beings than understanding infant and child development. Read More

Toddlers, Part II: Translating From Words Back To Feelings

"But in fact language is a double-edged sword... It drives a wedge between two simultaneous forms of interpersonal experience: as it is lived and as it is verbally represented... Language, then, causes a split in the experience of the self" — Daniel Stern, 1985 Read More

Toddlers, Part I: Try Translating Their Words Back Into Feelings

"Through his powers of intellect, articulate language has been evolved; and on this his wonderful advancement has mainly depended" — Charles Darwin, 1874 Read More

After Your Child Talks: Speaking The Words

Between about 1 and 3 years, children change how they give life to their feelings. The facial expressions they used so actively as infants, while still there, are joined by early words. These words are very often primitive, raw and intense: Hate, no like, me, want, go away, shut up. Read More

Before Your Child Talks, Part II: Putting Words to Feelings

The key with the preverbal child is talking, using lots of words, and translating feelings into words. As we have explained previously, preverbal babies and infants use nine signals to express their needs, fears, feelings and desires. Read More

Before Your Child Talks, Part I: Hearing and Understanding the Words

It is a thrill when parents realize how much a child is processing and learning before she utters her first word. Finally, they can talk to their children and be clearly understood. "Please bring your shoes to me so we can put them on"... and lo and behold the child delivers her sneakers. Read More

Toddlers, Language, and The Power of Translation

There are many dictionary definitions of the word translation: to change from one state or form to another; to turn into another language; to transfer from one language into another. The synonyms are interesting too. They include: transfer; transform; paraphrase; explain; convert. Most or all of these relate to the process we are considering: the back and forth translati Read More

Toddlers and The Onset of Language: Hearing, Speaking, and the Magic of Translation

"Man... is the most dominant animal that has ever appeared on this earth... Through his powers of intellect, articulate language has been evolved; and on this his wonderful advancement has mainly depended." —Charles Darwin Read More

"Roots and Wings": Your Toddler Becomes More Mobile and Self-Aware

One of the best-and shortest! - guides to parenting is the following: "Give your child roots and wings."

Roots

What are the "roots"? Love, caring, empathy, listening, socialization, interpersonal skills, education - all the elements which enhance development and provide solid foundation for the child in going forward.

Wings Read More

Small Steps

The train was rolling west through the corn and wheat fields, and dusk was starting to settle in. We had been underway about 3 hours, and a little boy of about 5 years was starting to get restless a few seats in front of me. He would peek out, wander briefly into the aisle, stand up on his seat-all to the increasing distress of his mother: "Sit down... can't you behave?... Read More

Spanking and Other Physical Punishments―Revisited

Legislation is being introduced in the US House of Representatives to ban physical punishment in schools (HR 5628). Many medical and psychological organizations support this ban and have position statements which condemn physical punishment and offer solutions. Read More

Alison Gopnik and the Cognitive World of Babies and Young Children

Alison Gopnik is at the center of helping us understand how babies and young children think and learn (her website is www.alisongopnik.com). She has a lovely article in the July, 2010, issue of Scientific American (pages 76-81) which summarizes new developments in this area. She notes: "Even the youngest children know, experience and learn far more than scientists ever thought possible." Read More

Paul C. Holinger, M.D., M.P.H., is a psychiatrist and adult and child/adolescent psychoanalyst. He is author of What Babies Say Before They Can Talk.

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