As I sit in the Red Light District of Amsterdam, having a beer and reading Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot's delightful and insightful book about life over 50, "The Third Chapter," the story of David Carradine's recent strange, sexually-related death comes to mind. What in the world was a 72 year old man doing that led to his body being discovered with a rope tied around his neck and testicles? News reports said that he might have been engaging in an old erotic practice that leads to enhanced ejaculation, but can sometimes cause death by asphyxiation. Carradine's death is a frightening reminder of how important sexual satisfaction is to older men for whom it is typically more difficult to achieve erection and ejaculation, perhaps increasing the need for enhancement strategies.
As I sip my beer and write these sentences, I wonder what in the world am I doing at age 67, obsessively walking the Red Light District alleys, peering at the partially clad, physically attractive prostitutes, and periodically asking about fees (usually 50 Euros) before moving on to the next window. After awhile, some of the women began to recognize me with quizzical glances. They work in small rooms behind large windows framed with red lights on top, where they stand and entice men like me. The history of prostitution in Amsterdam dates back to the 13th century and became legal in 1911. "Window" sex work, specifically, became legal in 2000. Interesting, that with legalization came a sex workers union and a 200-government page rulebook specifying minute details for proper sex work, down even to the regulated length of prostitute's fingernails.
In "The Third Chapter," Lawrence-Lightfoot, using interviews with people over 50, finds that people often have different narratives to explain their current status in life and we are faced with the developmental challenge of integrating these narratives in order to create a newer identity, necessary for a vibrant "third chapter" in our lives. This challenge is brought home to me as I am confronted with the juxtaposition of my identity as a respected researcher who has been invited to the Netherlands to deliver a keynote at a conference, and my current status as a curious and somewhat obsessive tourist of the red light district to see the women in the windows. The first narrative is in stark contrast to the second, which stems from feelings reminiscent of younger motorcycle days of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. David Carradine was an important influence in my more lusty youth, since I was a regular fan of his early TV show, where he played a mysterious Asian hero that consistently overcame old west adversaries with his quiet wisdom and powerful Kung Fu heroics. Perhaps, if Carradine was better able to successfully integrate the disparate parts of himself he may not have met such an unfortunate end. Lawrence-Lightfoot indicates how tough it can be when she describes experiences of interviewees who faced periods of considerable loss, confusion, and often intense pain as they resolved disparate narratives necessary for the emergence of a vibrant identify in the third chapter of life.
Signing off from Amsterdam, until I have more to report from Prague and Copenhagen as I continue researching sex over 60. As always, I welcome your thoughts and responses on how you or loved ones are experiencing your "third chapter," sexually and otherwise.
