Getting Laid Over 60

Finding Meaning and Sexual Satisfaction in Later Life

Welcome to Getting Laid Over 60

A new look at sexuality and healthy aging

Now that I've roped you in with my title, I'd like to tell you a bit about why I've decided to write this blog and what I'll be writing about in future entries. As a 67-year-old male at the front end of the baby boomer population I am actively engaging the many issues that will be presented for your review and discussion. I intend to bring together my research and clinical experience as a psychologist to provide stimulating and solid information that will help all of us navigate the "later" years. Having fun is one of my overriding goals and you may need to bear with my sense of humor to get at the useful information.

This blog is meant to be provocatively defiant of the social norms that put increasing pressure on aging adults to accept a loss of vitality and to yield their societal roles and positions to the younger generation. Baby boomers, who are used to having their way and being on top, are interested in defying the traditional aging process and finding out how to navigate successful aging. I want to discuss issues of aging and ways to celebrate and enhance our lives by creating meaning and achieving sexual satisfaction in later life. Sexuality was chosen as a pathway to engaging vitality and hopefulness after 60. Although a good part of my blogging will be devoted to sexual navigation, all areas of healthy aging will be open for exploration.

The blog is intended to serve as a forum and meeting place for the over 60 crowd who pride themselves on their vigor and are defiant of traditional norms of aging. (Aspiring 60 year olds are also welcome as are those beyond their 60s who have traversed further down this road.) You are invited to learn from my 67 years of personal experience and clinical knowledge and to contribute your ideas, questions and relevant information. I believe that open discussion of varying viewpoints is the path to authentic knowing. Each blog will discuss one or two issues that hopefully will evoke your interest and response. At times, I will ask readers questions related to expanding our knowledge about these years, since over-60-sexuality is relatively unexplored -- as though there is a tacit unspoken understanding that we are not supposed to do "it" anymore. For example, see Michael Castleman's 3/30/09 PT blog "How Common is Masturbation, Really?" that reports a University masturbation study with 3,116 people up to, but not over, the age of 60!

Some evocative questions to "stimulate" your thinking: If single and over 60, are relationships worth the hassle or is it preferable to masturbate? What is wrong or right with pornography and how do you find the good stuff? What do men and women want from their partners? Are women willing to negotiate sexual relationships without all the other trappings? Is it possible to have a sexual relationship without forming emotional bonds? What about paying for sexual services?

In this blog, I will address both male and female issues, though at times I may emphasize one or the other. As we begin, the orientation will be more male since much of my thinking is related to the book I am currently working on "Getting Laid Over 60: Men's Search for Meaning." In addition, there will be more information directed to singles since that is my status and compelling interest. Members of the Center for Aging, Sexuality, and Meaning (CASAM) will also be frequent contributors to this blog.

Harry K. Wexler, Ph.D. is a research and clinical psychologist and the director of the Center for Aging Sexuality and Meaning in New York City and Laguna Beach.

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