Black Friday is over for another year and one guy was trampled and two others were shot. That's only three people dead. Go figure. That makes it quite a bit blacker, don't you think? Do NOT get me started on the whole concept of Black Friday (a tradition in which I firmly refuse to participate). That's a story for another day. But on a related note, can we just take a minute and talk toys?
As an organizing expert, I've seen my share of disastrous play rooms, homes overrun with toys and overwhelmed children. I've seen the chaos that having too much can create -- whether it's toys, clothing, paper, books, or anything else. And for many years, I've been on-- heck, I've been DRIVING -- the "For-God's-Sake-Stop-With-The-Toys!" bandwagon. Specifically, I hold the firm belief that kids are not only overwhelmed, but intellectually hindered by having too many toys. Children are born with incredible natural creativity and vibrant imaginations that can keep them entertained for hours, given the right tools: simple toys that require creativity in order to actually function as toys.
Items such as crayons and paper, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys are a few of my favorites because they encourage self-directed, creative play. Kids can do a zillion things with these kinds of toys! They learn to problem-solve, they stretch their imaginations and left to their own devices, they can happily play with these simple toys for hours. Contrast these tried and true old-school playthings with today's specialized toys that "perform" for your child's amusement, and it's almost a joke, except it's more sad than funny. The myriad specialized toys on the market these days (Elmo, remote control cars, and Transformers for example) barely even engage a child's mind, let alone require any degree of imagination or creativity. It's no wonder they're bored to death with their new toys inside of a few weeks time!
To my absolute delight, my diabolical plan to take over the world must be coming together, because some parents are beginning to rethink buying toys for the holidays! It seems in the grand scheme of things, in an uncertain economy, they just don't seem that important anymore. However, some parents are writing to toy manufacturers and retailers, asking them to stop marketing to children because then the kids whine and nag and ask for things their parents can't afford to buy. Ok, seriously? Now we're blaming retailers for our own lack of willingness to parent?
Isn't it a parent's job to set expectations for a child, to deliver disappointing news, and to help that child learn life and coping skills? Life doesn't always go just the way we'd like it to, but is it fair to ask a company who sells a legal product to stop advertising that product simply because PARENTS find it too uncomfortable to do their parental jobs? Be honest -- is it me, or is that just a little wacky?
When you have kids, part of your job is to teach them life skills so they can live an effective, happy life. One way to do this is by teaching them how to think independently and how to cope with disappointment. Life offers teaching opportunities every day where kids can learn lessons such as "Sometimes you don't get what you want when you want it." Or, "This year we can't get you everything you want for Christmas", or one of my old favorites, "Sometimes you don't get everything your friends at school have."
This nutty economic situation seems like a good teaching opportunity for parents, but apparently some would rather go into debt to buy things they can't afford or -- God forbid -- prostitute themselves (Literally! Read the article!) than to deny their kids the latest and greatest must-have toy. If your self-worth as a parent is so tied up in pleasing your kids that you'd rather do something irresponsible (or illegal) than disappoint them in any way, dare I say you have bigger problems than the economy?
However, there is always a bright side and if we choose to look on it, perhaps a down economy is exactly the thing some parents need to begin re-booting their child's value compass at the holidays and heck, why not for the coming years too? There's no better time than now to suck it up and explain (to kids old enough to understand) where money comes from, how money works, how credit cards work, and the basic concept of exchanging time for money and money for things. Even if your kids aren't old enough yet for that conversation, all children can be taught that the holiday season isn't all about the presents.
This is the perfect time to make a shift back to smaller, simpler, less quantity of stuff, and more quality time. It's a great opportunity to focus on how much you DO have, and to enjoy the holidays with friends and family over a wonderful meal, rather than focusing on the frenzied shopping and buying. Your kids might gain a bit of perspective. Perhaps they'll learn to be grateful for whatever they get, maybe they'll learn the great joy of giving, or that the world really doesn't end when you don't get everything you asked Santa to bring. Or perhaps they'll begin taking pleasure in having fewer things but appreciating those things more. However it pans out this year for you, the holidays are always a wonderful opportunity to set a great example as a parent, don't you?
