Gay's Anatomy

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Did I mention thank you?

It's so heartening to read a positive and thoughtful post on a site that isn't bi-specific. You can help/inform many more people than will come to those of us who write bisexual blogs/books, particularly those who weren't necessarily looking to become informed!

Describes accurately the confusion and resulting tension experienced by bi people through most of their lives. Little wonder that the gay and straight communities are sceptical about bisexuality when many bi people themselves feel such ambivalence and in many cases a greater need to stay in the closet than gay people.

I am speaking as the mother of a girl whose first relationship was with someone who later turned out to be bisexual and he was never honest with her about his confusion and the feelings he had and as a consequence almost totally broke her! He then moved on to a purely internet relationship with a guy which lasted a very short time and refuses to even talk to my daughter at all now! I appreciate that it is difficult to come to terms with being bisexual but nobody ever talks about the pain it can cause to potential partners if there is no honesty about these feelings! It is all about him being accepted for who he is and others not being prejudiced or judgemental, but if you are bisexual it is absolutely essential that any potential partners are made aware of this because anything else would be totally unfair!

In my experience of working with people who are bisexual, most have mentioned that there was some pressure from friends to decide whether they are heterosexual or homosexual. It's a need that sometimes others have (who are gay or straight, and not both) needing someone who is bisexual to either be with us or with them. I believe we are all bisexual to a degree but this doesn't mean we would have sex with either sex. It allows us to form close bonds with men and women without changing our sexual preference.

It always intrigues me to read articles about bisexuality being shunned more by straight and gay/lesbians. On the flip side, I gain more acceptance identifying as bisexual to my straight as well as gay/lesbian peers. I remembered when I first discovered my much desired preference and tried identifying as just a lesbian that didnt get as positive a response compared to identifying as bisexual... I guess at the end of the day, it all boils down to the way we carry ourselves as an individual that will be respected or be shunned off, irrelevant of sexual orientation.