Gay's Anatomy

An insider's look at gay culture and identity.

by Joe Kort

Joe Kort, LMSW, is a psychotherapist and author of books on gay male development, gay male couples including Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician:The Essential Guide. He is a gay and lesbian studies adjunct professor at Wayne State University.

October 7, 2008, Gender

Comments on "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Used To It!"

We're Here, We're Queer, Get Used To It!

By Joe Kort on October 7, 2008 in Gay's Anatomy

I liken being gay to being Jewish, African-American, or any other minority culture. Children of minorities usually grow up in neighborhoods with others of the same race or religion. Families can attend community centers and houses of worship to strengthen their ties and affirm their identity. From a very young age, individuals build a foundation to springboard they can use for later personal and social development. They share the secure feeling of being part of something larger than themselves, helping them feel proud of who they are. Ultimately, affirming one's core identity increases self-esteem and leads to healthy relationships. Oprah cites the Supremes being televised in 1965 as contributing to her later success. She ran through the house screaming, "Colored people on TV!" Her family came to watch with her, proud to see three beautiful black women singing. Read More

Watching gay programming on TV

Submitted by Jeff Cameron on October 8, 2008 - 7:33am.

I think for many gay people, before they ever can get involved in gay events, it is important to see images of ourselves on TV, in magazines, and ultimately in real life at gay pride events and community groups.

For me, I remember watching a TV movie that I can't remember the name of, but the main actor in it went on to be on the primetime show E.R., he was the bald one on that show, but he was the central character in this movie. If i remember correctly, he was on the swimteam and he starts to realize he is gay and he comes out to his mother whom reacts badly. This struck a chord with me, both positive and negative.

One the one hand, I felt exhilirated that I was watching something I could indentify with, but horrified that it would happen to me like that.
I think the mother in that movie did sort of come around in the end, so it was a little ray of hope.

I also remember watching part of another movie that Harry Hamlin was in and he had AIDS and he woke up coughing in the night and had to be hospitalized, which was an eye opener for me.

So those weren't very happy situations particularly, but I still liked seeing something that pertained to myself.

Obviously, there are other characters on many TV shows, and even before TV, movies, where there are obvious nods and cultural stereotypes of "gay" characters, so it is interesting to see how far things have come up to today's current standards of gay programming.

I really loved Will & Grace. I was sad to see it end. I also really loved Queer As Folk too, and it ended way too early as far as I am concerned. I personally feel a void in gay programming since both of those shows went off the air. I am glad I was able to see those shows, and I hope more will come sooner than later.

I think it is also interesting, although not that surprising with the sexism the pervades all entertainment, that Ellen and Rosie both were able to come out and have successful shows and people generally are very accepting of them. There is also Graham Norton, a UK talk show host commedian, but I'd like to see an American gay male talk show host of some kind. Hopefully that day is approaching.

Gay men may not have a talk

Submitted by Julia on October 8, 2008 - 6:27pm.

Gay men may not have a talk show but they do have lots of shows on TV. Soon, just need patience.
And just to put things in perspective Ellen lost her original show when she came out as a lesbian. Society has just made progress since then :)

Gay men have other shows?

Submitted by Jeff Cameron on October 9, 2008 - 5:58am.

So far, nothing has replaced Queer As Folk, and the same with Will & Grace.

You said there are other shows for gay men? I am not sure what shows you are refering to? Can you name any examples of a primetime show specifically for gay men on any major network like NBC or others?

LOGO doesn't count to me personally because they only show programs that are reruns of previously aired tv shows and movies. I want something new and current that shows growth and progression in gay men's programming. I just would like a show where men date and show affection and go through their normal everyday lives and feelings. Also, I still want that magical talk show host that would be a high profile gay American male at the helm of it.

I think there is gay programming out there on cable, but that is not accessible by a good many gay people. The major networks need something to be shown that is highly visible not only for the benefit of helping us feel accepted and important, but also to let straight people see something is out there and make them understand that we're here and they can't look away anymore.

Just in general, my favorite shows on tv right now, not necessary gay-centric, but many have some gay thems to them...

Heroes, House, Lost, Chuck, The Terminiator Chronicles, Project Runway, Tim Gunn's Guide To Style, Ugly Betty, Bill Maher Real Time, Kathy Griffin's The D List...