Gay and Lesbian Well-Being

Covering issues vital to the psychological health and happiness of gays, lesbians, and their families.

by Michael C. LaSala, Ph.D.

Coming Out, Coming Home

By Michael C. LaSala, Ph.D., LCSW on July 23, 2010 in Gay and Lesbian Well-Being

To begin to tell the story of the 65 gay and lesbian families I interviewed for the book Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child, it makes the most sense to start at the end--because there is good news about how families can eventually become more open, warmer, and closer after it is learned that a child is gay or lesbian. Read More

Thanks--Looks Like Another Great Resource

Submitted by Mike on July 26, 2010 - 6:51am.

Thanks for your post and blog--looks like another great resource for gay and lesbian teens and their parents. There were fewer resources for confused teens like me when I was growing up in the 80s, but what you say here, about the acceptance of families, matches my experience almost to the letter. Yes, it was a struggle to find acceptance, especially with parents raised in a different, far-more homophobic generation, but it IS possible to get there and it's wonderful when one can. Keep an open mind, everyone. Parents may take a while to come round--mine did--but no one can change on a dime. I'm glad for this extra resource and glad for this blog.

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Thanks for your comment.

Submitted by Michael C. LaSala, Ph.D., LCSW on July 26, 2010 - 9:06am.

I am very glad to hear that what I described resonated with your experience--and I hope the blog and your affirming, optimistic response is a comfort for families seeking help.

Thanks again.

Best,

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Disenfranchised Grief

Submitted by Anne on September 29, 2010 - 9:54pm.

Parents who think that marriage is between a man and woman are called bigots! These parents are the disenfranchised grievers.

Where is the support group for them?

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good for gays and lesbians but not trans?

Submitted by Anonymous on November 25, 2010 - 12:33am.

Thanks for the review. I was disheartened to read about how parents want their boys to be boys and girls to be girls. So, trans kids, don't come out?...

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Thanks for your comment...

Submitted by Michael LaSala on November 26, 2010 - 8:09am.

As a queer man, I also find it disheartening. However, just because some things are uncomfortable for parents (and others) does not mean their children should not come out, right? Most trans people probably understand and have experienced people's discomfort with this kind of thing, so most likely have ways that they deal with it. Gay, lesbian and trans people need to understand that parents can get to the point where they have a better, more flexibile understanding of sex roles and gender identities and expressions, but it will take some time, patience and education. I hope that helps.

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Michael C. LaSala, Ph.D., is Director of the MSW program and associate professor at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey and the author of Coming Out, Coming Home.

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