Fulfillment at Any Age

How to remain productive and healthy into your later years

How Does Your Partner Turn You On?

Happiness in long-term relationships depends in part on how sexy couples find each other. Calculate your partner’s hotness using these five research-based criteria from studies of sexual attraction. Read More

2-5 can be shortened... 2 -

2-5 can be shortened...

2 - Stay in good shape.
3 - Enjoy sex
4 - Please your partner first
5 - Be single (which is a different issue then 1-4)

1-4 seem all very true to me based on my experiences, 5 is just one of those outlier things beyond our control.

A few thoughts...

#1. “Unfortunately, the reverse may not be true, as aging women continue to tend to be looked at as less attractive than aging men. The critical study testing the fatal attraction effect of time’s impact on partner sexiness would need to be conducted on a male sample…”
I kind of feel like you just made this part up, since there was no corresponding research. In fact, it sort of undermines all of #1.
#2. “Being physically in shape can promote better hormonal functioning, which, in turn, can contribute to keeping the sexual fires alive inside.”
Well, and that’s not all…having an efficient vascular system is critical for hard erections and for female orgasms . And, speaking as a woman, a hard erection now and then is sort of nice.
#3. “If your desire to have sex was always on the low side, the chances are you’ll be less interested in having sex now.”
Oh boy. My husband was always low libido, but when he hit is mid-40s all was lost. I’m sure many men would say the same for their wives. But, anyway, this one deserves some attention – especially if you’re relatively young and dissatisfied with your sex life. It’s not going to get better!!!
#4. “Whatever type of your relationship you’re in, and whatever your gender, a partner who is able to identify and then meet your sexual needs will become someone you will continue to find attractive over time.”
There is so much to be said for just plain sensuality, isn’t there? Nothing is sexier than a man who is truly sensual – one who loves being touched, kissed, smelled…
#5. ” a conditioned preference for the faces that received this positive associational boost only for those faces labeled as belonging to people not in a romantic relationship already”
Yes, excellent idea. Do not fall in love with someone who isn’t available. No good can come from it.

#3 If your desire to have sex was always on the low side, the chances are you’ll be less interested in having sex now.”

I've been the opposite here, never had any interest in sex until way into my 20s....

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Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Her latest book is The Search for Fulfillment.


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