Fulfillment at Any Age

How to remain productive and healthy into your later years

Get in Touch with Your Relationship Myths

We all hold the idea of the “perfect” relationship, an idea that may lead some people to spend their lives turning down otherwise great, if not perfect, partners. By identifying your own relationship myths, you can better enjoy your current, if not future, opportunities for true intimacy. Read More

Thank You for shedding some light

Thank you for a fantastic article. I appreciate the fact that you included all of the different perspectives. I hope that people can learn that just because someone doesn't agree with another person doesn't mean that their point of view is absurd.

I was shamed by a few female posters in the comments section of another article on PT last week for my point of view on exclusivity. I was told that my view point of wanting an exclusive relationship from the very beginning was absurd. I feel that I was treated in a mean spirited manner.

All the others did was make me feel sorry for them that they became so angry because my point of view was different than theirs. It is a sad world when people can't accept others for who they are. Especially when they aren't hurting anyone with their point of view.

That is my point of view and I do have a right to it. They also have a right to theirs. I can respect that. It is my hope that others can learn to respect that also.

Have a great day! I loved your article.

Soul mate is not a myth

I hate to burst bubbles but....

You call the soul mate thing a myth. It is not a myth that there is one right person out there who can change a person's life as a lover and partner. It is just very difficult to make real, but that does not mean it cannot be real. In my own case, I had a number of short relationships (three years or less) as an adult, and a marriage of ten years which ended miserably.I thought there was no hope, and that I was doomed to be alone. I was termed difficult, fractious, and demanding.

Then I met my current partner. Ten years, going strong, with the sex just as great, vibrant, and frequent as at the beginning. Huge growth for us all, even in the midst of the economic struggles we have had because of the Great Recession. Plenty of stress, but meeting of the minds. Great differentiation between us, but a wondrous partnership. She too was in the same sitch as me. She too was termed difficult and demanding. In fact, we met while married to others. And now, ten years of total faithfulness and devotion. Life has never been better for either of us. She, too saw no hope. And then, we gave each other hope.

I know this story runs counter to everything they teach in psych graduate programs. It runs counter to the philosophy of many therapists, and to the settle-for-your-mate theories of people like Lori Gottlieb. All I can say is, the one-perfect-person thing worked for me and my partner.

This article is nice, but not

This article is nice, but not very informative, more like: you could this or may be you dont, you could be like that or may be you wont.

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Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Her latest book is The Search for Fulfillment.


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