If you want practical advice, there's no better place to look than psychology. In this list of 12 of the most notable psychology tips, you'll see that there are empirical reasons to do some things, and not others. Each "do" and "don't" comes packed with a supporting principle from established psychology research.
And "don't" worry-- there's no final exam!
1. Discipline a child (at home or at school)
Don't: continually comment on and rebuke a child's annoying or disruptive behaviors.
Do: "catch" the child at being good by rewarding on-task and desirable behaviors.
Relevant principle: Behavioral psychologists have shown that reinforcing negative behaviors can increase their frequency. Although it may be difficult at first, extinction can help reduce these unwanted behaviors by taking away the rewards of someone's attention that are maintaining them.
2. Discipline yourself:
Don't: Set unrealistic goals and punish yourself for failing to meet them.
Do: Pace out measurable, achievable goals in small steps and reward yourself when you meet them.
Relevant principle: Contingency management, a behaviorist principle based on Skinner's notion of "shaping,", allows you to make progress toward a desirable behavior by giving yourself rewards for making small steps.
3. Master a new skill or subject matter:
Don't: Try to learn a complex skill or topic by cramming at the last minute or by pulling an all-nighter.
Do: Study what you need to learn in small units, preferably by interspersing the new material with a god night's sleep.
Relevant principle; Research on memory and sleep shows that people are more likely to forget what they've learned unless they get sufficient so-called "Non-REM" or "NREM" sleep, which is the sleep that occurs during the phases of moderate to deep sleep.
4. Negotiate a price:
Don't: Agree to pay a certain amount for merchandise or services on the basis of an oral conversation.
Do: Get binding offers in writing before you say "yes" or sign anything.
Relevant principle: According to the social psychological principle of "consistency of commitment," once consumers agree to a deal, they'll pay more even if the salesperson adds extra fees or other hidden charges.
5. Find a therapist or counselor:
Don't: Rely solely on advertisements, the advice of friends, or even the advice of a health professional.
Do: Take the advice into account, but check for yourself on the therapist's or counselor's credentials, particularly to see if the individual is currently licensed.
Relevant principle: States regulate who is allowed to use a certain title. For example, in some states, only a licensed psychologist is allowed to use the title "psychologist." Make sure the individual has the appropriate credentials for his or her profession.
6. Decide whether the professional is right for you.
Don't: Ignore your gut feeling when you meet with the professional for the first time.
Do: Identify whether you feel that you and the professional "click" or not.
Relevant principle: The therapeutic alliance is the most important key to the success of your relationship with your professional. You don't necessarily need to "like" the professional, but you should feel that he or she has your best interests in mind.
7. Help an aging relative (or yourself) with memory problems.
Don't: Assume that the memory problems are due to Alzheimer's disease, an irreversible dementing process, even if the "family doctor" provides a diagnosis.
Do: Have the individual (or yourself) checked by a competent neuropsychologist for an initial screening (at least).
Relevant principle: Alzheimer's disease is a much rarer disorder than the public is led to believe. People may be convinced by the hype that even small memory problems are due to dementia, which can further exacerbate the situation. In addition, many causes of dementia are reversible will get better with proper treatment.
8. Judge someone's honesty, sincerity, or reliability.
Don't: Assume that everyone is just like you (that is, honest, sincere, and reliable!).
Do: Judge people by how they actually behave.
Relevant principle: The assumed similarity bias leads us, as implied, to assume that they are like we are. It's fine to expect the best out of people but it's wise to check out whether that expectation is well-deserved.
9. Make the best impression.
Don't: Undermine yourself by allowing your anxiety to keep you from looking confident and trustworthy.
Do: Look people straight in the eye, monitor your body language, and gauge your behavior to the situation.
Relevant principle(s): The entire field of impression management in social psychology is oriented toward discovering what turns people on and off when they meet strangers for the first time. Not only should you use eye contact and bodily posture to your advantage, but you should also make sure to behave appropriately by not being too familiar with people you don't know well in a professional situation or too stiff and standoffish with people you're trying to get to know better in a social situation.
10. Manage stress.
Don't: Make the situation worse by focusing on how bad the situation is and in the process becoming more anxious, angry, or frustrated.
Do: Take the stressful situation apart mentally and figure out what you can and cannot change. Try to make yourself feel better about the things you can't change and try to change the ones you can.
Relevant principle: Stress is in the mind of the beholder. If you tell yourself that a situation is beyond your ability to cope, you'll feel even more stressed than the situation actually calls for.
11. Get enough sleep.
Don't: Rely excessively on sleeping pills, daytime naps, or alcohol to get to sleep at night.
Do: Modify your sleeping habits so that you take advantage of good sleep hygiene which includes not working in your bedroom, exercising before you go to sleep, relying on sleep aids, or convincing yourself that you can't ever get enough sleep.
Relevant principle: This "do" summarizes a considerable amount of sleep research. People can ruin their sleep by engaging in the wrong sleep-related behaviors and then convincing themselves that they can't sleep. Once people start to practice good sleep hygiene, they find that they can overcome insomnia.
12. Motivate yourself for a boring task.
Don't: Focus only on what the task can get for you such as claiming your weekly salary.
Do: Try to involve yourself as much in the task itself rather than on the rewards or results it will provide.
Relevant principle: Research based on self-determination theory shows that the more intrinsically involved you are in a job, meaning the more you think about the task rather than what it can provide, the more motivated you'll be.
Psychology offers many well-established ways to improve your life. This sampling of a dozen do's and don'ts should provide you with enough practical, empirically-established, tips to help you take steps to feel better and behave more effectively,
