Have you ever found yourself stumped about what to wear to a costume party? Does the invitation to a Halloween or Mardi Gras party cause you to flinch? Chances are you’re either feeling stumped about how to come up with the cleverest, funniest, or perhaps naughtiest disguise. Maybe you just don’t like the idea of wearing costumes at all. You’d much rather stick with the tried and true jeans, cocktail dress, suit, or whatever you usually wear on social occasions.
Costumes can reveal some interesting facts about who we are and how we want others to see us. The people who hate costumes may find them too childish or silly, or so they say. In reality they may simply feel socially awkward about putting themselves out there or may be overthinking the whole process. Possibly, they see the costume as some sort of projective test or as insight to their unconscious fears and desires. Dressing up as Superman may signify a strong sense of inadequacy or it may signify the opposite—an overly grandiose self-image. They’d rather not give away any of their personality secrets to a crowd of strangers.
Other people who hate costumes don't really hate costumes; they just feel that theirs will never match up to those of the competition. This is one good reason not to watch the annual Halloween parties on TV sitcoms. The actors wear contraptions costing some several thousands of dollars. Most people cannot compete with that. Even ordinary folk can come up with some pretty creative outfits, though. When I think of the college students whose costumes I've seen during my annual pre-Halloween class (where students earn extra credit for wearing AND writing about their costumes), I can remember some pretty amazing ones. For example, students have shown up dressed as Phineas Gage, Freudian slips, Pavlov and his dog, Baby Albert... you get the idea. There are the usual angels, devils, Marge Simpsons, cows, cats, and robots. Once class starts, the atmosphere feels measurably different as people step out of their usual college student role and temporarily have a completely new identity.
You've probably figured out that if I host a costume contest I probably have to participate, and you'd be right about that. Over the years, I've taught the entire class hour in whatever costumes I could borrow from one of my children or put together quickly (Audrey Hepburn and pirate queen were two of my favorites). Colleagues of mine also join the fun. One of my English Literature friends dresses up every year as Glinda, the good witch from The Wizard of Oz. I'd love to have a "signature" costume also, but so far I haven't settled on that perfect one.
Some people look for opportunities to dress up in costumes even when there's no holiday in sight. Some Tea Partiers have shown up at political rallies dressed up like participants in the original Boston Tea Party. Others seek out any chance for a parade or join local theater companies where, even if they can't act, they get to dress up and pose as extras. There is very little research on the personality correlates of costume wearing. I'd venture to guess that costume wearing comes naturally to you if you have high scores on the personality dimension of "Openness to Experience," meaning that you enjoy fantasy, play, and occasional bouts of flamboyancy.
Whatever your attitude toward costumes, you can use the idea of dress-up time as a way to explore what's going on behind your own mask, or what Jung called "the persona." Our normal, everyday dress is in many ways a reflection of our self-images. There are people who like to recede into the background in neutral grays and beiges, those who prefer the sophisticated look of black, and those who want to stand out in reds, pastels, or white. Some like to dress up, some to dress down, and some to combine a little of both. At some level we know that, for better or worse, we judge and are judged by these outward appearances. Interestingly, for reasons unknown to me, there is very little research on color preferences in clothing and personality. Seems like a fascinating area of investigation!
When the occasion calls for a costume, if you want to feel just as comfortable and relaxed as you feel under normal circumstances, make sure you're wearing something that really fits your inner image of yourself. Perhaps it's your favorite sport, song, painting, hobby, or historical figure. Use that as your touchstone and build from there. You don't have to win a prize for the most creative costume. But if you can show the side of yourself that comes closest to how you see yourself, you'll be able to derive a great deal of fulfillment from the opportunity:
Follow these simple tips to express yourself in new ways:
1. Browse through your closet and find your favorite outfit. Why is this your favorite? What image does it portray about you? Can you tweak that and turn it into a costume instead?
2. Think of someone you admire as the basis for your costume. Was there a historical figure or is there a current celebrity you particularly respect? Why do you admire this person and how can you, within reason, convey the image of this person?
3. Follow the bounds of good taste. Costumes that might offend other people by virtue of their content or style should be avoided at all costs.
4. Have your costume reflect your hobbies. You can convert one of your favorite sports or pastimes into a costume, even if it's TV watching or video games.
5. Remember that others may feel awkward too. You won't be the only person there who doesn't like costumes. But if you choose your costume to suit your true self, you'll definitely feel more comfortable than they do.
Although a flair for the dramatic may not be part of who you are, expressing yourself through a costume can provide a welcome change of pace from your regular getup. Have fun with it and who knows, you may find yourself looking forward to the next costume occasion!
Follow me on Twitter @swhitbo for daily news on psychology, health, and aging. Visit my website at www.searchforfulfillment.com for more resources. Check out the Weekly Focus for more background on today's blog topic.
Susan is the author of 15 books including her most recent book, "The Search for Fulfillment."
Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. 2010
