Friend or Foe

An investigation into the pitfalls and rewards of 21st century friendships.

by Susan Shapiro Barash

Our Daughters at Holiday Time

As if there isn't enough stress simply getting holiday cards out snail mail, and arriving at the department stores at opening bell, many of us have adult children, as well as younger children, around for Christmas week. Of all the family bonds in this mix, the mother/ daughter relationship is often on the line over the holidays and frictions may surface. Read More

Jane Eyre and the Modern Woman

The latest film rendition of Jane Eyre, starring Mia Wasikowska, Judy Dench, and Michael Fassbinder, reminds us that Jane Eyre is really a modern day tale in terms of the human psyche, jealousy and materialism. Watching the movie, I was struck by the similarity between many of Jane's travails and the 21st century problems that particularly affect young women. Read More

Real Time: Acrobat Mothers Versus Tiger Mothers

Ever since I opened the Saturday Wall Street Journal on January 8th, I've been perplexed by the entire concept of the 'Tiger Mother'. And these past few weeks as I've observed the response, both negative and positive to Amy Chua's book, I've wondered what it is exactly that tiger mothering does for her daughters that so intrigues us. Read More

Being A Friend To Your Daughter Could Be Toxic

While writing my book on the trials and tribulations of female friendship that came out last fall, several women spoke of the importance of setting an example for their daughters when it came to female bonds. For instance, if you, as the mother, are a jealous friend, a misery lover, or a user, then you are teaching your daughter what not to do. Read More

Summer Friend Fizzle

So here we are, Labor Day is right around the corner and the writing is on the wall for the successful summer friend. First off, let's define a "summer friend." Summer friends are all about the season; either she's the one with the summer house that she rents or owns, or someone who lives year round in a particularly inviting place to visit from early June through Labor Day. Read More

Confusing Friendship with Twinship

So often women are drawn to other women because their stories and circumstances are so similar to theirs. After all, who isn't ready to dish about a tiff with her sister, a troublesome boss, a daughter who won't listen, concerns about money. Read More

The Celebrity Girlfriend in Your Backyard

What could be more seductive than celebrity status these days? We're still talking about celebrity attire at the academy awards, we love nothing more than to read about famous women who are devoted friends (think Oprah and Gayle, Jennifer and Courtney), and any kind of catfight between the stars is so titillating it's an ongoing sport. Read More

The Always-Late Friend

It is an almost universal sentiment that the chronically late friend can irritate even those of us who are good natured and patient. Read More

The Misery Lover in Your Life

In our ongoing quest for healthy friendships, those in which we feel appreciated, understood and where trust is at a premium, the misery lover's modus operandi isn't always immediately apparent. Since much of female bonding is environmental and age related, the misery lover starts out as a good friend to have. Read More

Ten Tips for How to Deal with Those Dicey Friends

With a new year upon us, our resolutions are filled with hope and promise (not yet worn thin by time, reality and old habits). Thus, the question of how to deal with a ‘difficult' friend comes to the fore, right at the top list of those unsettling issues to address. Read More

New Year's Resolutions When it Comes to Friendship

As the holidays are upon us, most of us make plans with our friends,as well as with family members. In fact, friends are often intentionally invited to family events to mitigate tension and be a sort of buffer zone. Read More

Nontoxic Friends on a Book Tour

Naturally, when you've written a book on toxic friendships among women, there's a bit of trepidation about which friends will take it the wrong way. During the writing process for this book, as I listened to the voices of hundreds of women describing their successful and unsuccessful female bonds, I thought of my own dramas with friends over the years. Read More

Spilling our Guts to Our Female Friends

The kinship among women these past forty years, since the woman's movement, has created stronger, more intimate bonds than ever before. If we compare what female friendship entailed in the 1950's and early 1960's to today, women were more guarded and less comfortable discussing their innermost feelings. Read More

Why Women Can’t Weed Out Their ‘Toxic Friends’

Indeed, we've all had a toxic friend or two along the way. Or been toxic ourselves at some point in our lives, even though this might be hard to admit. For women, the idea of having a difficult friend is a serious matter. Women place such an emphasis on their female bonds and expect so much in return that when it goes awry, it can be devastating. Read More