Freedom to Learn

I have had the privilage the past 3 years to work for a wonderful Private Community school. What you have said about older and younger children is true. They do play with, look up to, protect, and respond to each other those ways at our school. Also, the education there is totally different, children learn from trying things, reading, experimenting, practicing, playing games,videos and interaction between themselves and the teacher more than they do from books and tests. This school is a great place for children to learn, explore, and make friends..
I also visited Kenya 2 years ago where the education there is neither free nor forced and every child in school highly valued their education. The teachers there do still use switches and there is no government lunch program. They walked to school, walked home, ate lunch, and returned most of them over 3 miles and barefoot. Even the homeless and orphaned street kids were begging "Please, I want to go to school. Can you send me to school?" I have long said there is nothing wrong with free education, Education should be free but not forced. I know because I worked in Public Schools and the children who don't want to be there not only learn all those lessons mentioned the blog, but they are the bullies and the ones who steal the opportunity learn from the ones who truly want to learn by becoming the class clown or worse and a constant distraction, and interuption in the class. Plus the ones that are acting out because they don't want to be there, become discipline issues and then they carry the lable on their backs that they are BAD.. So they believe they are BAD and they end up in JDC and later Jail and Prison.( Yes, some get through without turning bad and some learn to overcome their circumstances and make their lives good inspite of their school experiences.) But most do not. I know because...
I worked 4 years in public school with Special Education children. I quit because I was not free to teach as I wanted. I had to teach to a test they could not possibly pass. I also had to advise parents to either place their children in a Special Diploma Track which limited their ability to attend college or join the military or advise them that unless their child could pass the State test they would not get a diploma but rather a Certificate of Completion. I watched too many children fall through the cracks helpless to stop it.

Hi Peter,

I agree that the school system fosters fear and competition. My daughter has suffered terrible things due to bullies at her school. We have decided to pull her from that prison and free her to rebuild her wounded spirit. She was a happy, caring, and empathetic child before the bullies got to her. Now she has turned to self-injury to cope. The number one job of a parent is to ensure their child's safety. This will not happen in a school. We tried a Church School, with little improvement. There were plenty of bullies there. The family is the basic building block of society. Therefore, the home is the best place to learn everything! I wish I had learned that sooner.

Maybe you should encourage him to continue education, not in a forced way of course. There are so many forms of education today, he can make a choice that would fit him the best. Education makes the difference whether we like it or not. I am currently taking a rn to bsn online, nobody forced me to do that, I just decided it's the best thing for me, it will give me a good chance to find a better job.

Number 4 wasn't worded very well. But if kids were around more of the time, we'd be a lot harder to distract, a lot more tolerant of mess, and a lot more spontaneous.

I definitely agree. Segregating children from adults seems to have led to what is, in my opinion, a terrible attitude towards children. Adults in general (though certainly not all of them) seem to view children as objects, as nuisances, and not as people whose thoughts and feelings need to be acknowledged. Adults so often treat children terribly rudely, in ways they would never treat fellow adults. They believe that they are better or more worthy than them and that it's okay to order them around like slaves. And that is just terrible. Children are people too!

Andrea - My oldest daughter suffered with severe school anxiety mixed in with a mood disorder that made school life hell for a huge part of her K-12 experience. We went through everything possible to try to survive those years. After her sophomore year of high school, which included hospitalizations for her, I learned about Sudbury schools and began looking for one for her. Instead, we had a democratic school where we enrolled her. She spent most of a semester there, but she didn't feel like it was a good fit for her and decided to go back to public high school.

BUT, because the decision was HERS at that point, and she knew that she was truly free to do whatever she desired, everything changed. She enjoyed her final year and a half of public high school and is now thriving at a college 15 driving hours from our home.

FREEDOM is key in our experience.

I think you bring up a good point. I have often felt that children being forced into school and separated from their parents at such a young age feel unsafe in the world. My children who are unschooled and with me almost 24/7 seem to have almost no social anxiety. I'm always surprised at how easily they will ask another adult for help, add to a conversation that is happening around them, or compliment a complete stranger on an outfit. I wish I was as secure in myself.

Yes, there are drawbacks. I think anyone who homeschools or has considered it knows this.

What images comes to mind when you think of homeschooling?

Do you see children and a parent working at the kitchen table together?

Do you see a kid working alone in his room on whatever she's interested in?

Do you see children taking music, art, language lessons from adults or teens?

Do you see children attending one or two day co-ops or academies where they attend classes with other children?

Do you see park days where children of mixed ages run and explore with minimal adult supervision?

Do you see families taking cross-country road trips at whatever time of year they want, for whatever reason they want, and for however long they want?

Do you see kids banding together to create chess, D&D, or LEGO clubs, to work on 4H projects, or to do whatever their interest leads them into with kids they've found online or from their homeschool group?

Do you see children spending the night without their parents at Sea World?

Do you see children singing for and playing games with the elderly in an Alzheimer's center?

Do you see children working in a businesses of their own creation or alongside their parents or other adults?

All of these are encompassed in the term "homeschooling." Many people are stuck on the image of homeschooling where mom does "school at home," looking over the shoulder of the kids all the time, having limited interaction with people outside of the family. This happens but based on the homeschoolers I know, this is not the majority.

In our culture it is difficult to give children the unsupervised, exploration time that some children have had in different eras. The Sudbury model is one good way to achieve that, but it is not the only way.

I disagree with your statement that homeschooling is “unnatural”. Homeschooling is far more akin to natural community interaction than any school. Family and extended family have been the community building blocks for centuries.

I am also not sure how you are defining “learning”. Some learning takes place alone (in the home, in a school, in a field, wherever), some learning takes place in a group. Having isolated time to manipulate, experiment and think, I would label “independent learning”. Social peer and community interaction is not necessarily learning.

I think it is a wrong assumption to say, “In every society that we know, children ache to spend time with other kids away from the adults.” Really? My kids love to play with their friends but they could care less if adults are around or not. Generally, I think there are 4 groups that kids fall into: 1. Kids who are introverts and would rather not spend time with their peers or anyone. 2. Kids who are extroverts and truly crave spending time with their peers, but anyone really. 3. Introverts who are mature enough to be extroverted enough so as not to be rude. 4. Kids who think they will only be socially accepted if they follow the crowd and do what they can to fit in with their peers.

You said, “The presence of other children with whom the child can create and recreate the community around him is important.” No, it isn't. It is a recipe for disaster. Children develop their own social-caste system when left to create their own community. Children learning from children how to socialize creates social ills such as: teasing, bullying, manipulation, arrogance, low self-esteem, suicide, homicide and the like. It is important for children to have friends and develop relationships outside the home, but creating and recreating a community? No thanks.

I would argue that when a child is homeschooled, they are more socially secure and mature. They know their social network of family is always there to fall back on and therefore are more confident to face new relationships without fear of rejection or judgment. They have nothing to lose by approaching the librarian, store clerk, local politician, new kid, etc. without fear. They have seen Mom and Dad do it a million times and so they know how to do so in a socially appropriate manner. They have a secure social network to encourage them towards independence, socially and academically.

When they are in “school” (any school) the main social network is their peers. Children have not been taught socially appropriate behavior and therefore, are not good teachers of it. Peers are not stable, at any point someone may reject them. A few adults is not sufficient to completely guide the social interactions of the young. In homeschooling, parents are ever-present but increasingly granting more and more independence as the child becomes more mature. Inappropriate behavior is addressed immediately, a continual training in social skills. Eventually, children are sent off alone with confidence – confidence in their maturity, their trustworthiness and also, confidence in relationship. Homeschool parents have such great relationships (generally) with their children that the kids want to honor their parents therefore parents trust them to make good choices. (In contrast, parents I know with children in school will not leave them alone, even as teenagers because they do not trust them. Their relationship is not even strong enough to compel the child to behave out of honor or respect.)

You said, “Most kids don't need more time with their parents (though many like to spend some time with adults who aren't their parents). I would say that most American children DO need more time with their parents. How much time do kids spend with their parents? School 7AM – 3PM, afterschool activities 'til 6PM, dinner, homework, bed. How much time do they have? An hour? Two? Kids would want to spend more time with their parents if parents were their primary social network. The children in the homeschooling community I am a part of do not care if parents are around or not. When parents are around, they are treated as peers with the component of respect due an elder person. When spending time with parents is the norm, the atmosphere changes. Children behave responsibly and are therefore given more freedom than their counterparts who spend all day with peers.

You also said, “Children want/need more time with other children. Sudbury schools supply this, in a way that the modern family cannot.” SOME children need more time with other children but others do not. The “modern family” CAN provide time with other children of all ages. You are a) making a broad generalization about children and b) making statements as if they are absolute truths when they are not. You are obviously unfamiliar with the modern homeschooling family and homeschooling communities (and the plain modern family for that matter.) Homeschooling can supply more genuine community and peer interaction. Since homeschoolers have the freedom to do what they want during “school hours”, they have more time for free play and socialization with their peers through structured and unstructured activities. They also have time to spend in the “real” community of the world. Homeschoolers are not limited as to when and where they can volunteer, work (aside from labor laws), intern, or visit in the community.

The homeschooling community is a large group of parents that often work cooperatively. My children have extended interaction with other adults and children each week through classes, sports events and community activities.

Overall, I think you are speaking from ignorance regarding homeschooling and the nature of children.

My 5 kids spend tons of time away from me, running around our 5 acres. (They could do the same if we lived in a town, as long as there weren't truancy and daytime curfew laws...) The ideas that homeschooled children are glued to their parents 24-7, don't interact in the community or don't get to make choices for themselves are major fallacies.

On further reflection, I've come up with some questions for those of you who've participated in a Sudbury-style schools.

There's a group trying to start one in my city right now, which I'm very excited about. As an educator, the idea of living out my post-child years working in a Sudbury-style school elates me. But I have not chosen this option for my unschooled 4 and 7 year old, although that could change later.

The Sudbury-style school they are starting would be a long drive which I'm not willing to make regularly. If my kids attended school full-time, we'd abide by the school's calendar for breaks, vacations, field trips, etc... instead of enjoying the freedom we now have. Plus since I enjoy children greatly, the idea of spending the whole week away from my kids saddens me. I don't make them spend every minute with me but they bring so much joy, exploration, and play into my life that I loathe giving that up.

Why is part-time school attendance not a part of the Sudbury style?

Why did the original Sudbury school develop such restrictive rules about parent participation?

You've talked about how children need time away from adult supervision. What is the place for adult participation in "community" that children create - imaginary play, exploration, etc...? Or do you think that adults can't participate with child without taking over? Can adults let children "set the tone?"

It seems like, based on the limited research I've done, that while the Sudbury model trusts children, it doesn't trust parents. What's behind that?