We adults flatter ourselves when we think that we are the best models, guides, and teachers for children. Children are much more interested in other children than in us. Children are especially interested in, and ready to learn from, those others who are a little older than themselves, a little farther along in their development, but not too far along. Children are drawn to older children, and older children are drawn to adolescents. Adulthood is too far off to be of much concern. That is why age-mixing is crucial to children's self-education.
In my two just-previous posts I focused on the value of age-mixed play. I described how younger children are lifted up in such play to do things that they couldn't do just with age-mates; and I described how age-mixed play is often more creative, less competitive, and more conducive to experimentation than is same-age play. Now I complete this series on age mixing by describing some ways, beyond play, by which the presence of older and younger children promotes self-education. As before, my examples come mostly from observations at the Sudbury Valley School, where the students, who range in age from 4 through high-school age, mingle freely all day long.
Younger children want to do what older children do.
One sunny morning as I sat near the school's playground I watched two 10-year-old girls easily and nonchalantly perform the trick of walking upright down the slide. A 6-year-old girl nearby watched them more intently than I, and then she climbed the ladder and started gingerly walking down the slide herself. This was clearly a challenge for the little girl. She walked with knees bent and hands down, ready to grab the rails if she lost balance. I also noticed that the two older girls remained next to the slide and looked on with a degree of apprehension, ready to catch her, but not too obviously so, if she should fall. One said, "You don't have to do it, you can just slide," but the little girl continued, slowly, and beamed with pride when she made it to the bottom. Shortly after that, the two older girls began climbing a nearby tree, and the younger girl followed them in that activity too. The little girl was clearly motivated to do, with effort, what the older girls could do with ease.
This is just one of many, many observations of young children modeling their behavior after that of older children. Children on the verge of being able to play strategy games, or read, or perform new operations on the computer, or engage in more advanced athletic activities, become motivated to do so by observing those activities in older children and adolescents. In our study of how and why children learn to read at the school, some told us that they wanted to read because they were envious of the older kids who were reading and talking about what they had read. As one student put it, "I wanted the same magic they had; I wanted to join that club."
Younger children don't just blindly mimic older ones. Rather, they watch, think about what they see, and incorporate what they learn into their own behavior in ways that make sense to them. Because of this, even the mistakes and unhealthy behaviors of older children can provide positive lessons for younger ones. Young children talk endlessly about what they like and don't like about the activities of the older ones around them. Negative models can be as helpful as positive ones. "I'm not going to do what X does, because I can see all the trouble it brings him."
Children also learn an enormous amount just by listening to or overhearing older ones, even when they aren't interacting with them. Through hearing the language and thoughts of older children--which are more sophisticated than their own, but not so much more so as to be out of reach--they expand their own vocabularies and range of thought.
Older children are also inspired by younger ones.
It is not just the younger children whose horizons are expanded by the age-mixed environment. At Sudbury Valley, older children and teenagers are inspired by the playthings and actions of younger ones to continue to engage in activities that they probably would have dropped by middle childhood in an age-segregated environment. They continue, for example, to play with blocks, clay, crayons, and paint. As a result, many of them become extraordinarily good at those activities. The school has produced a remarkable number of successful creative artists, and I suspect that the age-mixed environment has much to do with that.
Older children are excellent helpers and advisors of younger children, partly because they do not help or advise too much.
Children often prefer to ask an older child rather than an adult for help or advice, even when an adult is available whom they could easily ask. I suspect there are many reasons for this, but one of the main reasons, I think, has to do with control.
Children seeking help or advice do not want to give up their own control of the situation. They don't want any more help than what they ask for, and they want to decide themselves whether or not to accept what is offered. Because adults are more likely to be seen as authority figures than are older children, it is harder to reject an adult's help or walk away when advice goes beyond what the child wants. Moreover, in my observations, older children are much less likely than are adults to extend help or advice beyond what the young child wants. Older children are not worried about the long-term development of the child who has asked them for help, or about whether or not they are coming across as wonderful teachers and guides, so they just give the help that is asked for, which is all that the younger child wants.
In one of Jay Feldman's observations, for example, 5-year-old Sue asked 8-year-old Anne to thread the needle on a beading loom for her, which she needed to do to complete a bracelet she was making.[1] After Anne threaded the needle, Sue continued her work on her own, without further help, and Anne offered none, even though Sue continued to have difficulties with the loom and made many mistakes. If Sue had asked an adult to thread the needle, rather than an older child, the adult might have hovered around and helped Sue with other parts of her project, which would have taken away Sue's pride in doing the work herself. Sue clearly didn't want such further help, even though the project was difficult for her, so it was safer to ask an 8-year-old. [Note: Students' names in this and other examples are pseudonyms.]
So, here is a valuable lesson that we adults can learn from children about helping and advising children: Don't give more help, or more advice, than is asked for! Come to think of it, the same lesson applies to helping and advising adults. I know that when I ask for help I am not asking for supervision. I just want the help I asked for. I want to do the rest myself, even if I'll make more mistakes that way. A too-helpful helper takes away my sense of freedom, self-control, and play.
Older children are excellent teachers of younger ones, partly because they are not too far ahead of the younger ones.
Daniel Greenberg made this point in one of his books about Sudbury Valley, where he wrote: "Kids love to learn from other kids. First of all, it's often easier. The child teacher is closer than an adult to the student's difficulties, having gone through them somewhat more recently. The explanations are usually simpler, better. There's less pressure, less judgment." [2]
Not only are the explanations simpler, but, because they come from someone closer in age, they are easier to challenge. They are more likely to be viewed as ideas to think about, rather than as Truth, and understanding comes from thought, not from blind acceptance. Here is an example from one of Jay Feldman's observations:
Eight-year-old Ed was complaining to 14-year-old Arthur about how two other boys had been teasing him by calling him names he didn't like. Arthur told Ed that he should bring a complaint to the school's Judicial Committee. Ed then said, "They have freedom of speech." Arthur, after a little thought, replied that freedom of speech meant that they had the right to say those things, but Ed also had the right not to hear them. Ed, after a little thought, said, "Okay." [3]
Notice that in this example Ed felt equal enough to Arthur to challenge his suggestion, and the challenge led to a new idea. Notice also the elegant language of the exchange. Big ideas were expressed in few and simple words.
Older children expand their own understanding through explanations to younger children.
