Freedom to Grieve

Protecting grief from "closure," consumerism, politics, and other cultural distortions

Learning to Float in Grief

Face the pain long enough to be able to look around and see that joy and life remain. You can learn to float while immersed in grief. Read More

Distract is the Key!

In order to get rid of grief, it is best to distract your mind. Try doing your hobby with others, involve in the best activity of your choice with a team, or go for a group meditation. If nothing, just go out and help others - may be a non-cash service in orphanage.

This article is so good. The

This article is so good. The idea of learning to float while immersed in grief was so helpful to me.

I am thankful you found it

I am thankful you found it helpful! Thanks for your comment. Nancy

I love the comment, when

I love the comment, when grief comes you invite it for coffee not lunch. When I feel sad I cry then I dry my eyes and move on with the day.

Thank you for sharing your

Thank you for sharing your own insights on grief. Crying can indeed help. Take care. Nancy


how can you grieve when they pump you full with antidepressants.?It gives you a false sense of security.


how can you grieve when they pump you full with antidepressants.?It gives you a false sense of security.


I am drowning in grief, In a matter of three years, I lost my Soul Mate 45, my Mom 71 .Dad 74 Stepmom 64 , Cousin 38 and Dog 12 all rather quickly. I feel most of my support system has died, I always felt God was looking out for mr then so many losses at once. I rarely get out of bed and when I do I eat way to much. I lost my joy for living. I do try to be grateful for what I have but the sadness and feeling that my life is over sweeps over me. I know others have experienced this but I still feel all alone. And who wants a sad person around them.I used to be the life of the party. I could go on and on. I think about dying but I still have two little dogs still to take care of. How do I get my life back?

I'm thankful you are reaching

I'm thankful you are reaching out. The number of losses of close family members is indeed a difficult situation. I'm sorry you are hurting so much. If you can find even one person to talk with some or to do things with that will be a stepping stone for you. If there is a volunteer activity that you can do the action would be helpful. You might find it healing to connect a volunteer project or some memorial activity to one or more of your loved ones. That can be an active way of remembering and grieving while slowly finding ways to get involved. I fear that anything I write may sound like I'm simplifying your pain and grief. I don't mean that. You can find joy again but it may come slower than you want. And remember that you can carry joy and grief together. You'll feel the loss and your continue to love your family. It sounds like you have a faith and I'd encourage you to continue praying. God can handle your pain and your anger too. You won't get your "old life" back, but you will learn to live again while holding the love of your family with you. One step at a time and those little dogs will help you.

Trying to Float

I have been here 8 1/2 years ago I lost my youngest son at 21 years old and I have been in this grief before. I know what you mean on focusing on all the good memories and choosing to see how fortunate I was to have had him for the 21 years that I did in my life and I was always looking on the good side that is the floating in your grief. I felt that God never promised me I would have my children forever it was something that we were given for us to raise up for however long that if we were to get them properly raised and that was all he didn't promise us forever. But now the grief is more than my husband and I can ever ever handle because on 23 July we lost our 32-year-old son and now we are just lost in terrible grief we are now feeling that we are not a mother or father at all because we do not even have a child left on this earth. I feel floating is not a option know I am drowning.

Thank you for sharing part of

Thank you for sharing part of your story. I can see how the loss would be overwhelming. Please try to reach out to people around you so that you are not alone. It may take time until you can know what step to take next. And it is hard to support each other because of the intense pain you both feel with the deep loss of your children. See if you can find others who will be willing to walk beside you.

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Nancy Berns, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Sociology at Drake University and the author of Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What It Costs Us.


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