Flourish!

Spin Challenge into Positive Growth: Learn to Thrive!

Angie LeVan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:12:39 +0000

People like Chelsea George (in Part 1 of The Thriving Mindset) teach us, as research supports, that individuals can thrive despite and sometimes because of hardship.

Your best resource for spinning hardship into positive growth is The Thriving Mindset.

The Thriving Mindset is a flexible and mindful approach to attending to and perceiving the world that enables Thrivers to switch between different modes of thought, emit a sense of hope even in the face of hardship, see themselves as capable of managing adversity and achieving goals (self-efficacy), find meaning in challenge, and continually strive for personal growth. Thrivers can be pushed to their limits -- just like the rest of us -- but they have the ability to persevere in the face of challenge. They can do this because they have the Thriving Mindset, which is the most essential resource for spinning challenge, fear and risk into the ‘good life’.

The first step to building a Thriving Mindset is to be able to effectively manage your attention, or rather, to be able to focus at will – through the practice of mindfulness meditation. Though 'attention' is one of the fastest-growing areas of study in the fields of psychology and neuroscience, we’re developing new technologies at light-speed rates that are making it increasingly harder for us to actually pay attention. If you can focus for at least five minutes without being distracted by facebook, texts or incoming calls, give yourself a pat on the back. In today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world, that is a feat -- sadly.

From one minute to the next, our attention is hijacked by phone calls, emails and text messages. On top of that, we’re chronic multitaskers, which we’re often rewarded for, yet this same ‘skill’ seems to have taken a toll on our well-being. While most people believe that multitaskers are extremely gifted, a recent study at Stanford has revealed that multitaskers are easily distracted, have poorer memory skills, and they have a harder time paying attention and switching from one task to another as compared to individuals who typically focus on one task at a time.

Noted psychologist Mihayli Csikszentmihalyi believes that the content of our lives is determined by how we allocate our attention, and that “the mark of a person who is in control of consciousness is the ability to focus attention at will”. Additionally, researcher Mary Rothbart and colleagues have found that adults with advanced attention skills are less sad and anxious – certainly a step closer to flourishing! Thus, how we focus our attention has large implications for our well-being.

Just imagine the possibilities that can stem from being able to flexibly choose the content of your life just by having advanced attention skills. There’s no limit to what you may be able to accomplish when you are able to command your attention at will. This is exactly why cultivating the Thriving Mindset™ begins with first learning how to focus.

The next step is what I call mastering the Clever Switch. Not only is mindfulness practice good for cultivating attention in the present moment, but because most of us spend our time in the past or future, mindfulness helps us to develop flexible attention – giving rise to masterful control of attention and psychological flexibility. Dr. Steven Hayes describes psychological flexibility as “the ability to contact the present moment more fully as a conscious human being and to change, or persist in, behavior when doing so serves valued ends”.

Advanced attention skills encompass more than just being able to focus for long periods of time; they include being able to switch attention at will. The key factor here is the word ‘switch’. Often, life events demand that we switch thoughts and actions. At times, thriving requires that we make vast changes on the fly. Flexible attention enables us to be aware and awake, to make flexible choices, and to choose from a dynamic range of attentional styles.

For instance, Harry was a Senior Marketing Manager for a large cable network. When he was laid off, due to corporate downsizing, he spiraled into a depression, focusing solely on how unfair the situation was. After all, he invested much of his life working for this company. Didn’t they owe him some sense of security? As unfair as the situation was, it didn’t help Harry to focus on the injustice of the situation. For months, Harry moped around the house, feeling sorry for himself. Finally, his wife told him that he should focus on what he’s grateful for in life. Harry agreed to heed her advice, and in a few weeks, he actually was actively searching for new jobs. A month later, Harry was in a new position with a smaller company that allowed him to play a more active role in the company. In fact, Harry loves his new job. All it took for him to go from languishing to flourishing was for him switch his attention from what’s wrong with his life to what’s right about it.

There are times when thriving requires that you look through rose-tinted lenses, especially when the going gets tough, but sometimes it requires that you see what might go wrong, or what is wrong, so you can best decide how to deal with a situation at hand. If you walk around Pollyannaish, always looking on the bright side of life, all the time, you may miss some obstacles that may come up in life. Sometimes you need to be able to switch between thoughts of the past, present and future. Sometimes it takes switching from thoughts about the self to thoughts about others. If it sounds complex, that’s because it is complex. Though many people propose mindfulness as a way of being able to focus on the present, I believe it awards something much, much richer – flexibility to cleverly switch between different and sometimes completely opposing modes of thought! That’s why I call the second part of the Thriving Mindset is the The Clever Switch™.

Here are 3 Clever Switches you can use in your daily life:

Switch 1: From what’s wrong to what’s right: Instead of looking at what’s wrong in a situation, learn to see the benefits of challenge and focus on the things in your life that you can truly be grateful for.

Switch 2: From in to out. Sometimes we spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves, especially when things don’t seem to be going our way. However, switching your focus outward (i.e., to helping someone else) can be quite beneficial for your mental health.

Switch 3: From now to then. When times are tough it can help to focus on a more hopeful and brighter future to get you through a tough, present moment. This switch can be especially helpful when dealing with hardship or working towards challenging goals.

In this world of instant and constant flux, the best resource one can have is the Thriving Mindset - the mindset of mastering change, of thriving through challenge, and of taking your life into the direction you most desire. It’s a mindset of taking action to pursue one’s deepest desires and dreams, and attention is at the intersection of thought and action. Although many articles regale the importance of cultivating a specific type of mindset, instilling the notion of “thinking positively”, the Thriving Mindset is quite different. While you may not be ready to scale mountains, compete in the Masters, or become an Olympic Gold Medalist, the Thriving Mindset offers you a more authentic way to living life – and it all begins with being able to focus and switch your attention.

If You Think You Can’t… Think Again: The Sway of Self-Efficacy

Angie LeVan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:21:54 +0000

Henry Ford said it best, “Whether you think that you can or you can't, you're usually right.” But few of us realize the veracity of his statement. Fortunately, there’s science (and a little bit of fiction) to back it up – so listen up and learn!

“I Think I Can! I Think I Can!”

Remember the children’s story The Little Engine that Could? Defying impossible odds, the little engine did! But did we somehow miss the message of this tale? 50 years have past since the book was first published, and when trying to overcome hardship or pursue our dreams, many of us still think, “I can’t.” Sound familiar?

The scientific term is “self-efficacy” – the “I-think-I-can” psychological phenomenon that enhances goal achievement. Introduced by psychologist Albert Bandura in 1977, over thirty years later the scientific potency persists (in academia). But even with science on our side, we still haven’t quite gotten it. Unlike self-esteem, self-efficacy isn’t about a sense of self-worth; it’s about believing you are capable of producing a desired result – that you can achieve your goals.

The truth is -- there’s so much more to “I think I can” than childhood fiction or a clichéd, feel-good maxim.

The Sway of Self-Efficacy

Everyone has something they’d like to change or improve; everyone has goals. Therefore, self-efficacy is of universal appeal and widespread need. Beyond that, it offers up some really great benefits for potential buyers.

For instance, people high in self-efficacy take better care of themselves, see tasks as something to be mastered, and they feel more empowered. They’re not controlled by circumstances. They see setbacks as challenges to be overcome and can cope with hardship better than those with low self-efficacy. They learn from failure and channel it into success, like Thomas Jefferson, Walt Disney and J.K Rowling. People higher in self-efficacy also have a greater sense of motivation and persistence.

Perhaps most important, according to Bandura, self-efficacy affects how we feel, think and act, and low self-efficacy has been linked to helplessness, anxiety and depression. Fortunately, whether your current level is average, ample or absent, much like physical attributes, self-efficacy can be enhanced.

If you Build it, it will Come: Enhancing Self-Efficacy

Here are some simple exercises that you can use to boost your sense of self-efficacy.

Take One Step at A Time

Self-efficacy is developed, in part, through success – and even small achievements can pack a powerful punch. Pick one small change you’d like to make and go for it. Then pick another small change. Then another. Reflect on each success before moving on to your next small goal. Like any other change, enhancing self-efficacy is best achieved one step at a time.

Draw from Your Past

Reminiscing on past successes can help drum up a greater sense of self-efficacy. Reflect on times when you succeeded at accomplishing things you didn’t think you could do. Reflect on those moments. What did you accomplish? How did you accomplish it? How can these accomplishments be channeled to help you achieve future goals? What do these accomplishments say about your ability to succeed?

See to Believe

Visualization is a powerful tool. Not only is seeing believing, when it comes to self-efficacy, believing is seeing…. results. Visualization not only primes your brain for success and enhances self-efficacy, it also helps you to see the smaller steps you need to take to reach your end goal.

Find a Role Model

Admire someone else’s success. When you see someone else succeed, especially someone who you identify with, you are more apt to believe that you can achieve too. Hence, having one or two good role models can vicariously bolster your sense of self-efficacy.

Accept Self-Doubt…but Put it in its Place

Managing your self-doubt is just one more way to keep “I think I can’t” thoughts from derailing your success. When self-defeating thoughts bubble up, accept them as part of the process and move on. These types of thoughts don’t necessarily reflect your true capabilities. The key is to not let them stop you from moving forward.

Get Happy

A good mood can also boost self-efficacy while a bad mood can undermine it. Write out all the things that uplift you (i.e. special songs, favorite quotes, etc) and use them to your advantage as you navigate towards your goals.

Solicit Social Support

Another great way to build self-efficacy beliefs is to elicit encouragement from friends and family and to stay away from those who discourage you. Quality social support is a key ingredient to self-efficacy, persistence and ultimately success. Find your best advocates and invite them to be part of your campaign for change.

Source Material

1. Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Psychological Review, 84, 191-215.

2. Bandura, A. (Ed.) (1995), Self-efficacy in changing societies. New York: Cambridge University Press.

First published on www.intentionalhappiness.com.

Three Ways that Modern-Day Conveniences Can Make You Less Happy

Angie LeVan — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 08:30:40 +0000

Most of us will do anything to avoid challenge, discomfort or even the slightest bit of inconvenience (hence, the Clapper, remote controls and Velcro). But by doing so, are we doing more harm than good when it comes to our well-being?

I’ll be the first to admit, there are some conveniences I just can’t live without. After all, who doesn’t love the iPhone?! But let’s face it — modern-day conveniences have made it easier than ever to accomplish more by spending endless hours glued to a chair.

Think about it. We’re living during a time when everything we want is right at our fingertips (thanks to the Internet and credit cards). Yet, we’re less happy today than our ancestors were when food was sparse, career paths were non-existent and before 18 year-olds drove sports cars. According to researchers, less than 20% of people (1 in 5) are actually ‘flourishing’ – living the ‘good life’. Worse yet, about the same number of people report symptoms of depression and anxiety! Through comfort and convenience have we lost opportunities to have an engaging and active life? Are we sacrificing opportunities to develop the resources that truly enable us to thrive in life? Have we traded challenge for convenience?

3 Ways Comfort and Convenience May be Short-changing Your Well-being:

1) An Epidemic of Inactivity: Not surprisingly, physical inactivity has reached epidemic proportion. Heart disease, obesity, diabetes and a number of other physical and mental disorders are on the rise – a result of modern conveniences?

Instead, take a more active approach to life! Get up out of your desk chair and take a quick walk. Put down the BlackBerry and take time to enjoy physical activity - whether it's dancing, hiking, or a good ol' run. For great tips on boosting your brawn and energy, check out these books: Younger Next Year: A Guide to Living Like 50 Until You’re 80 and Beyond and Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain.

2) Less Opportunity for Growth: When we’re exposed to minor stressors or challenges, we have an opportunity to build the mental resources necessary to actively cope with future hardship. Less challenge equals less opportunity to build the precious, mental resources that, leveraged appropriately, can enable a person to thrive.

For more information on building resilience, see The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles. Also, see this happier.com online exercise for building resilience.

3) False Hopes for an Easy Ride: In a technology-driven world, it’s easy to fall prey to expectations for instant results. But that’s just not how it works — and perhaps that’s not how it should! Happiness takes work. It takes time, patience and persistence to achieve the life you most desire.

Adopt a fresh mindset. Learn to embrace challenge, and step out of your ‘comfort zone’ by finding safe ways to challenge yourself!

Stay tuned for more on how use challenge as pathway to a thriving life!

Angie LeVan is a resilience coach who helps clients thrive through adversity and toward goal accomplishment! Learn more at www.inthriving.com .

Seeing is Believing: The Power of Visualization

Angie LeVan — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:28:52 +0000

Despite the great case for getting off our duffs, there are some amazingly cool and effective practices we can do from the comfort of our own recliners – without even budging a finger. For instance, you could practice your golf swing, work out your muscles, prepare to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, hone your chess skills, practice for tomorrow’s surgery, and you can even prepare for your best life!

Mental practice can get you closer to where you want to be in life, and it can prepare you for success! For instance, Natan Sharansky, a computer specialist who spent 9 years in prison in the USSR after being accused of spying for US has a lot of experience with mental practices. While in solitary confinement, he played himself in mental chess, saying: “I might as well use the opportunity to become the world champion!” Remarkably, in 1996, Sharansky beat world champion chess player Garry Kasparov!

A study looking at brain patterns in weightlifters found that the patterns activated when a weightlifter lifted hundreds of pounds were similarly activated when they only imagined lifting. In some cases, research has revealed that mental practices are almost effective as true physical practice, and that doing both is more effective than either alone. For instance, in his study on everyday people, Guang Yue, an exercise psychologist from Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, compared “people who went to the gym with people who carried out virtual workouts in their heads”. He found that a 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym. However, the group of participants who conducted mental exercises of the weight training increased muscle strength by almost half as much (13.5%). This average remained for 3 months following the mental training.

Noted as one form of mental rehearsal, visualization has been popular since the Soviets started using it back in the 1970s to compete in sports. Now, many athletes employ this technique, including Tiger Woods who has been using it since his pre-teen years. Seasoned athletes use vivid, highly detailed internal images and run-throughs of the entire performance, engaging all their senses in their mental rehearsal, and they combine their knowledge of the sports venue with mental rehearsal. World Champion Golfer, Jack Nicklaus has said: “I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head”. Even heavyweight champion, Muhammad Ali, used different mental practices to enhance his performance in the ring such as: “affirmation; visualization; mental rehearsal; self-confirmation; and perhaps the most powerful epigram of personal worth ever uttered: “I am the greatest””.

Brain studies now reveal that thoughts produce the same mental instructions as actions. Mental imagery impacts many cognitive processes in the brain: motor control, attention, perception, planning, and memory. So the brain is getting trained for actual performance during visualization. It’s been found that mental practices can enhance motivation, increase confidence and self-efficacy, improve motor performance, prime your brain for success, and increase states of flow – all relevant to achieving your best life!

For someone like Matthew Nagle who is paralyzed in all four limbs, mental practices have transformed his entire way of life. Matthew had a silicone chip implanted in brain. Astonishingly, after just 4 days of mental practice, he could: move a computer cursor on a screen, open email, play a computer game, and control robotic arm. While our circumstances may be less stringent than Matthew’s, it’s quite obvious that every person can benefit from mental practices.

So, if athletes and chess players use this technique to enhance performance, how can it enhance the lives of the ‘average joe’? First, study results highlight the strength of the mind-body connection, or in other words the link between thoughts and behaviors – a very important connection for achieving your best life. While your future may not include achieving a great physique or becoming the heavy-weight champ or winning the Masters Tournament, mental practice has a lot to offer you. Try it here!

Begin by establishing a highly specific goal. Imagine the future; you have already achieved your goal. Hold a metal ‘picture’ of it as if it were occurring to you right at that moment. Imagine the scene in as much detail as possible. Engage as many of the five senses as you can in your visualization. Who are you with? Which emotions are you feeling right now? What are you wearing? Is there a smell in the air? What do you hear? What is your environment? Sit with a straight spine when you do this. Practice at night or in the morning (just before/after sleep). Eliminate any doubts, if they come to you. Repeat this practice often. Combine with meditation or an affirmation (e.g. “I am courageous; I am strong”, or to borrow from Ali, “I am the greatest!”).

Angie LeVan is a resilience coach who helps clients thrive through adversity and toward goal accomplishment! Learn more at www.inthriving.com.

Sweaty Magic: Spinning Hardship into Personal Growth and Happiness

Angie LeVan — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:49:50 +0000

Stress has a bad, bad rap – fair criticism or the product of paranoia? Or perhaps both? While chronic stress can definitely wreak havoc on our minds and bodies, research shows that some stress is actually healthy. Unfortunately, these days, we do everything we can to either avoid it or mute it – from spa treatments to stress management programs to a frosty cold beer. While I certainly agree that managing stress is a smart and useful tactic, I also believe that by going to great lengths to avoid it, we’re actually doing ourselves a great disservice. We may be stunting our opportunities for growth. Even when we’re faced with ‘bad’ stress, we have healthy, protective mechanisms for coping with it. In fact, we have the ability to thrive despite and often because of challenge.

In the world of academics, thriving is “characterized by the individual displaying less reactivity when faced with stressors, and resulting in a faster recovery or consistently higher level of functioning”. To the rest of us, thriving is Sweaty Magic – the ability to spin hardship, whether unexpected adversity or self-imposed challenge, into positive growth! But how does one do that, you ask? Interestingly enough, there are many research-supported resources that enable you thrive, and everyone has the capacity to develop these resources. Above all, Thrivers are masters of challenge and change, and they grow from challenge. They know how to lean into stress and how to approach it, relying on special resources, or rather, tricks of the trade! Here are just a few of the 'tricks' Thrivers use to turn adversity, hardship and challenge into gold-medal value!

1. Thrivers use Positive Illusions
Findings in social cognition research indicate that there are three different types of positive illusions people use to grow through challenge: 1) self-enhancement (believing that they are better at something than they may actually be); 2) unrealistic optimism; and 3) an exaggerated sense of personal control. Researcher Shelly Taylor and colleagues “suggest that the ability to maintain positive illusions provides the individual with reserve resources” for managing everyday stressors as well as in thriving through extremely stressful circumstances. According to these psychologists, positive illusions act as buffers and may even help people find meaning, which later leads to positive growth. Which type of positive illusion/s can help you thrive through a tough economy, a challenging relationship or the loss of a job?

2. Thrivers use Positive Reinterpretation – they look for something good in what has or is happening. For example, when Dan lost his job this past May, he decided to look at it as an opportunity to reassess his career path as well as his life values. In doing so, Dan found a new job he truly enjoys, and he now has more time to spend with his family. Despite the fact that his salary is less, Dan is much happier and more fulfilled. What benefits have come from hardship you've experienced in your life? When faced with challenge, how can you use positive reinterpretation to see the good in a difficult situation?

3. Thrivers have a sense of Self-Efficacy (the psychological phenomenon – “I think I can”) – they believe they are capable of handling stressful situations, whether positive or negative, and they also believe that they can succeed in many different areas of life. Hence, the old adage “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right” holds more than a grain of truth, especially when it comes to thriving. You can build self-efficacy by reflecting on past successes and by identifying times when you've succeeded at a difficult task or have bounced back from hardship. Think of the times in your life when you've handled a difficult situation successfully. Tell yourself that you can thrive through adversity -- and believe it!

Not only are these 'tricks' vital for creating Sweaty Magic, they’re enable you to accomplish your goals and achieve your best life!

**Special thanks to James Pawelski for allowing me to borrow his phrase - sweaty magic.

Angie LeVan is a resilience coach who helps clients thrive through adversity and toward goal accomplishment! Learn more at www.inthriving.com.

Unemployment, Debt and Anxiety on the Rise – A Perfect Time to Thrive!

Angie LeVan — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:10:09 +0000

The economy is busted. The American Dream is dead. Once built on the pursuit of happiness, now our country crumbles because of it. A dismal state of existence -- a perfect time to thrive!

Though most of us will do anything to avoid challenge, discomfort or even the slightest bit of inconvenience (hence, the Clapper, remote controls and Velcro), research suggests that people who endure hardship often experience positive growth as a result of such. These people are thrivers - and they emerge from adversity with a new lease on life and a greater sense of vitality. Thrivers also know how to embrace challenge and discomfort, spinning them into opportunities for personal growth!

While we may still cringe when recalling this tragic event, even amidst the horror of September 11th psychologists found evidence of post-traumatic growth (positive changes after a traumatic event) - where individuals experienced a deeper appreciation of life, a shift in life priorities, and enhanced spirituality, relationships and self-sufficiency. Similar studies on trauma have also found favorable changes in behavior, worldviews and relationships stemming from hardship - highlighting our human potential for positive adjustment and adaptation to stress. In fact, challenging times can enhance coping skills and amplify personal strengths and inner resources essential for resilience and mastery of challenge and change - a hallmark of thriving! But who are these fascinating people (thrivers), and what do they have that the rest of us Velcro-wearing, clap-happy ninnies don't?

Meet Chelsea and Maya George
The second I met Chelsea and Maya George on a train from Salzburg to Prague, I knew there was something special about the mother-and-daughter pair. At 6 years old, Maya had already explored much more of the world than I had in my entire lifetime, and it was Chelsea's zest for travel that enabled her to endow Maya with such amazing experiences. Though our time together was short, I could tell that Chelsea's life story was fascinating - emitting an air of resilience, verve and excitement!

Before parting ways in Prague, Chelsea and I exchanged emails, enthusiastic about keeping our new-found friendship budding. Every holiday or end-of-summer season thereafter, I would receive beautifully-written emails or cards crafted of stunning photography, illuminating Chelsea and Maya's exotic adventures. But I'll never forget the day I received a different kind of email from Chelsea -- the one that told me that Maya, then 9, had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Though she had been vivacious, curious and alert from the time she was born, less than one month later Maya passed away.

Most of us will never know what it's like to lose a child. Instead of spiraling into a womb of depression, Chelsea was able to thrive through this hardship and celebrate Maya's life despite the deep loss she experienced. In fact, Chelsea proudly confesses, "Maya did more in 9.5 years than most people could do in 90".

Today, Chelsea continues to travel the world and is married to Andre, the love of her life. When Chelsea's not traveling, she earns her living teaching racquetball at University of California Santa Cruz (UCSC) and survives mostly from the revenue of the rental properties she began investing in when she was a student at UCSC. Chelsea prefers the use of public transportation or a bike to driving, and she has a predilection for being frugal, splurging only on travel and photography. Though Chelsea is an extraordinary woman, like you and I, she shops for groceries, pays the bills, and even clips coupons. Yet, Chelsea has something that many of us don't have, something that enabled her to grow through Maya's death, that has compelled her to keep traveling and that keeps her from falling prey to a humdrum routine - a Thriving Mindset!

Click Here to find out more about the Thriving Mindset - what it is, why you need it and how to get it!

References:
Calhoun, L.G., & Tedeschi, R.G. (1998). Posttraumatic growth: Future directions. In R.G. Tedeshci, C.L. Park, & L.G. Calhoun (Eds.), Posttraumatic growth: Positive changes in the aftermath of crisis (pp. 215-238). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Publishers.

Milam, J., Ritt-Olson, A., Tan, S., Unger, J., & Nezami, E. (2005). The September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks and reports of posttraumatic growth among a multi-ethnic sample of adolescents. Traumatology, 11, 233-246.

Park, C. L., & Fenster, J. R. (2004). Stress-related growth: Predictors of occurrence and correlates with psychological adjustment. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23, 195-215.

Angie LeVan is a resilience coach who helps clients thrive through adversity and toward goal accomplishment! Learn more at www.inthriving.com.

**With special thanks to my dear friend Chelsea George for allowing me to share her and Maya's story!**