The economy is busted. The American Dream is dead. Once built on the pursuit of happiness, now our country crumbles because of it. A dismal state of existence -- a perfect time to thrive!
Though most of us will do anything to avoid challenge, discomfort or even the slightest bit of inconvenience (hence, the Clapper, remote controls and Velcro), research suggests that people who endure hardship often experience positive growth as a result of such. These people are thrivers - and they emerge from adversity with a new lease on life and a greater sense of vitality. Thrivers also know how to embrace challenge and discomfort, spinning them into opportunities for personal growth!
While we may still cringe when recalling this tragic event, even amidst the horror of September 11th psychologists found evidence of post-traumatic growth (positive changes after a traumatic event) - where individuals experienced a deeper appreciation of life, a shift in life priorities, and enhanced spirituality, relationships and self-sufficiency. Similar studies on trauma have also found favorable changes in behavior, worldviews and relationships stemming from hardship - highlighting our human potential for positive adjustment and adaptation to stress. In fact, challenging times can enhance coping skills and amplify personal strengths and inner resources essential for resilience and mastery of challenge and change - a hallmark of thriving! But who are these fascinating people (thrivers), and what do they have that the rest of us Velcro-wearing, clap-happy ninnies don't?
Meet Chelsea and Maya George
The second I met Chelsea and Maya George on a train from Salzburg to Prague, I knew there was something special about the mother-and-daughter pair. At 6 years old, Maya had already explored much more of the world than I had in my entire lifetime, and it was Chelsea's zest for travel that enabled her to endow Maya with such amazing experiences. Though our time together was short, I could tell that Chelsea's life story was fascinating - emitting an air of resilience, verve and excitement!
Before parting ways in Prague, Chelsea and I exchanged emails, enthusiastic about keeping our new-found friendship budding. Every holiday or end-of-summer season thereafter, I would receive beautifully-written emails or cards crafted of stunning photography, illuminating Chelsea and Maya's exotic adventures. But I'll never forget the day I received a different kind of email from Chelsea -- the one that told me that Maya, then 9, had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Though she had been vivacious, curious and alert from the time she was born, less than one month later Maya passed away.
Most of us will never know what it's like to lose a child. Instead of spiraling into a womb of depression, Chelsea was able to thrive through this hardship and celebrate Maya's life despite the deep loss she experienced. In fact, Chelsea proudly confesses, "Maya did more in 9.5 years than most people could do in 90".
Today, Chelsea continues to travel the world and is married to Andre, the love of her life. When Chelsea's not traveling, she earns her living teaching racquetball at University of California Santa Cruz (UCSC) and survives mostly from the revenue of the rental properties she began investing in when she was a student at UCSC. Chelsea prefers the use of public transportation or a bike to driving, and she has a predilection for being frugal, splurging only on travel and photography. Though Chelsea is an extraordinary woman, like you and I, she shops for groceries, pays the bills, and even clips coupons. Yet, Chelsea has something that many of us don't have, something that enabled her to grow through Maya's death, that has compelled her to keep traveling and that keeps her from falling prey to a humdrum routine - a Thriving Mindset!
Stay tuned to find out more about the Thriving Mindset - what it is, why you need it and how to get it!
References:
Calhoun, L.G., & Tedeschi, R.G. (1998). Posttraumatic growth: Future directions. In R.G. Tedeshci, C.L. Park, & L.G. Calhoun (Eds.), Posttraumatic growth: Positive changes in the aftermath of crisis (pp. 215-238). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Publishers.
Milam, J., Ritt-Olson, A., Tan, S., Unger, J., & Nezami, E. (2005). The September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks and reports of posttraumatic growth among a multi-ethnic sample of adolescents. Traumatology, 11, 233-246.
Park, C. L., & Fenster, J. R. (2004). Stress-related growth: Predictors of occurrence and correlates with psychological adjustment. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23, 195-215.
Angie LeVan is a resilience coach who helps clients thrive through adversity and toward goal accomplishment! Learn more at www.inthriving.com.
**With special thanks to my dear friend Chelsea George for allowing me to share her and Maya's story!**
