Fixing Families

Tools for walking the intergenerational tightrope

The Relationship Side of Porn

Porn in relationships isn't about porn, it's about the relationship. Avoid the trap of thinking that one of you is right and the other is wrong. Start by meeting in the middle. Read More

or you could both watch it

or you could both watch it together?

That would be great, but

That would be great, but there are male rules that we would like women to respect:
1. Please ladies, don't compare yourself to the models/actress in the porn ( breast size,weight,whether they are or Asian,black or natural unbleached blonde )
2. Minimize talking and please don't get in our head with rule number 1 above. No guilt tripping us because we don't want to have to chat and explain why our favorite video is entitled Redheads and black guys. There is no connection: meaning we don't prefer redheads...lol
3. Porn is mindless and a relaxing past time for us men, if we IGNORE your numerous questions please understand we are in relaxed mode and our attention span is not in that question answer mode. Choose another time to talk about your concerns.
4. Don't get mad if we look at porn instead of always looking you in your eyes, its not that you are not visually attractive- it could signify your too controlling in bed.More like the one position pony, and we men like porn because of the variations of positions we can watch. Sometimes women make ugly unappealing faces like they are bored or counting the clock, so if a man ask to do it doggy style don't contribute it to only the porn. Check your grill or ugly faces your making (smile) and spice up the sex by being creative in the bedroom. Spontaneous
5. Women should stop trying to PARENT their men like a child using the argument we are hiding anything from the women. Its very insulting and offensive. You can't one one hand cut off all sex and allocate a 1 time a week appointment to have sex then expect to control the mans eyes too...he is an adult, not a child. he respects your decision to abstain, so respects his to pleasure himself without you.
6. Don't use Religion to illicit shame or guilt, when you try to power trip and use sex as a weapon against the man to abstain, then when he ignores you and turn to porn you want to be a hypocrite ladies...
7. Be careful you don't play so many head games that you don't push your man into the arms of another woman. The point is ladies, YOUR GUY CAME HOME tonight and any night he comes home be happy, because eventually a man will make detours and go to the strip clubs, seedy parts of a china town for "ladies of the night" or get on social networking and try his luck just to get the attention you deny him sexually.
8. Ladies stop thinking your the last american vagina...lol, if you use your vagina as a bargaining chip for leverage to get new furniture,kitchen appliances etc, and then soon a the man says no to you- you then lock it down, please know that another woman would love to have your man and all of his flaws

Borat Wants More Sexy Time So Bitches Stop Tripping;)

Porn was made for you! You likely should not be in a relationship ever:). Also are you from Iraq/Iran or anywhere in the world where women are considered chattel? Did you have a bad experience with a woman who leveraged her vagina for a stove? Just curious (though you are totally transparent-AND HILARIOUS!!!:).

Also it is fairly evident that you do not like women-AT ALL!! I mean you come across as super hostile like someone who just got the burn notice. Trust me, you don't have to be Sigmund Freud to see that you see women as prostitutes if you will, sluts who patronize men like children, guilt trip men over their "past times" and use their vagina's as leverage (love that one!;). Yep, keep up your favorite "past time" and do us all a favor (you are not the only American penis out there either;). Trust me on this one, penises are everywhere and easy to get, especially with a bit of leverage;).

Also love how you tell women to accept you for your flaws and hobbies (giggles) and not use sex as a weapon. Are you not using sex as a weapon? Maybe I am confused or just in awe that Borat is real and posting on a forum:).

Until now I was a bit tongue in check but essentially you appear to be an extremely juvenile, selfish person who wants what they want, forget anyone else's feelings or needs, and by all means do not guilt trip or put me out for my "hobbies". Yep, you are a piece of work all right.

Word to the wise...as women start to realize their collective worth (and they are), their sexual power (oh yea), and the vileness of the patriarchy that has kept them down, your "kind" are in for a rude awakening;).

Whoa, i struck a nerve...lol

I am no Steve Harvey in the way I dress up how the male brain thinks. I may be abrasive and arrogant, but guys in a locker room speak just like this; we only are politically correct for women ears but that's not with other guys. We share stories about Valentines Day and if a women feels and believes she should be getting diamonds (BY NOW IN THE RELATIONSHIP) and don't get what she wants- then its Vagina on a rampage. Not being grateful and always making a man feel like he doesn't know how to give a gift are only some of the insults some women throw out. Porn watching after they hold the date hostage after the fact while they sulk over a diamond or gold bracelet just shows how childish,immaterial, and fake some women can be. the world doesn't evolve around women, so we are thankful for porn to do what women don't do or wont do, so why get madd at the ladies who entertain us when you wont. Call me selfish? i never had a girlfriend who didn't own her own sex toy either, so it sounds kinda hypocritical to have women harp about sexual pleasure and males using a visual stimuli as porn while women use physical sex toys to do the same thing...Women are hypocrites and hate to hear the truth because some find fault. We guys never get jealous when we find a big pink dildo in women's dresser draw, bt a woman will find a dvd of porn and then start judging like she is Mother Theresa. hypocrites...lol

I find it very sad to have a

I find it very sad to have a partner who systematically watches porno. It would certainly diminish my self esteem as a woman and the trust would be damaged. No good!

You make a valid concern, but "Self Esteem" is internal...

If you or anyone male or female is using the "it would affect my self worth or self esteem" excuse, then its truly unfair to the person you are in a relationship with. I have been to counseling so I can tell you by experience I CONTROL HOW I FEEL ABOUT ME, and that took some time to get to that place, but with the guidance of a trained professional I got there. Of course I was like you at first and went in there telling the therapist a load of crap about all these outside cues that were affecting why I felt the way I did. The therapist saw and read right thru me...lol. I was male, afraid to show my vulnerability and I was ignorant to psychotherapy. we guys tell each other that they are trying to re-program us and want to get in our head...lol. Here the rub, you will always find something to latch onto to blame others for your lack of self esteem and worth because its convenient for you to do it and you have conditioned yourself that way. Now that you are informed and educated you can seek guidance and help and not dump your insecurities on any man that watches porn, because it is not indirectly or otherwise associated with how you feel ABOUT YOU internally. If you feel sexy, attractive,courageous, and have a list of qualities that describe who you are, then you will not equate a porn with your own self importance. its a typical power trip move that many women use to confront men to get the subject on ME ME ME...

Is your dignity,self respect, or self will for sale? if you answered no, then neither should you lump your self esteem and self worth into any comparison with porn. Please get the counseling, it ill help you feel secure without having to blame anything that has nothing to do with your internal feelings. Thanks for being honest, that is the first step for the sexes to see where these negative viewpoints come from

Are you joking? What a

Are you joking? What a dickhead! Have you ever given a woman an orgasm? Do you know how? Maybe your woman will shut up when you get over your selfish macho bravado. If redheads turn u on, do it man, just do it (Nike, lol) iShe doesn't care the specifics of your selfish habit, she wonders why you can't muster up and actually please her. What a disappointing Neanderthal YOU have turned out to be, for HER. She can do better.......and she will. : )

Wait--what?

"Assume you are both right and see how far that takes you."
With all due respect, this sounds like a facile 'solution' to something that one or more partner(s) in a relationship feels distressed enough about to take time our of their schedules in order to attend (and probably pay out of pocket for) couples therapy. I envision the following potential scenario: Partner A (defense): "Fine. You're right. I'm a porn addict." Partner B (offense/defense): "You're right. I've grown more distant from you recently .It's because you'd clearly rather have sex with porn stars than with me." Partner A: "Fair enough. Maybe if you lost some weight and wore sexy lingerie again like when we first got married I'd be attracted to you again and wouldn't need porn to get off." Partner B: "You're a shallow, insensitive ass! I want a divorce."

Exactly

Cori, I agree with you. The solution posited is completely asinine. I believe in saving a marriage but to me if you are getting it on visually with others you are cheating/checking out. It is really that simple.

Adultery could help solve the

Adultery could help solve the problem of porn in your relationship

Funny...lol, but very true...

The grass is not always greener on the other side, so ladies please read in between the lines. what if your guy didn't watch porn or was a compulsive gambler, or adulterer? I'd have to say porn would be the least of your worries especially if your the type that finds something,anything, wrong with guys if you have become a professional nagger. Porn is like an adult babysitter for guys. Women dislike it because it slaps reality into the situation.Tthe male is no longer begging you for the affection of sex and intimacy; Women didn't factor that in...lol and whether there's an argument or you both are at an impasse about who's right or wrong in most couple disagreements, the male resorts to the porn because he knows you " got a headache" (liar) or you don't want to be touched because you "feel cold inside" because the woman feels she is not being heard when her game of "my feelings/manipulation" doesn't work. Adultery is real, another woman will find treasure in your man that you labeled trash...lol, it doesnt always pay to try to use reverse psychology as women are PROGRAMMED to do while discussing this topic on men. Don't sweat the small stuff is what i would suggest

Yeah, we are BOTH right

Here is how I resolved the issue:

I accepted his preference of porn over me - and with that - he was now going to accept my preference to engage with a real, live man.

So, years ago I turned by husband into a roommate and got a long term lover. If husband finds this to be a problem he can move out.

Now everyone is content!

love it!

No Headachy Wife Here, I love your solution! You have my total approval, and I'm a guy! I never understood guys who prefer porn to real women, no matter what the circumstances. You can't hug a video screen, etc.

ex-wife of porn addict

The problem with porn is that it does not enhance a relationship, (like some people claim), it divides. It interrupts real life because the fantasies can be played and replayed anytime the addict wants to check out. And check out he will. Sometimes the computer isn't even necessary. My kids would notice it too; that disconnect. The reason sex drops off in the marriage is because the addict can get his thrill off his computer girl, and there is no relationship, no commitment, no responsibility required from him. It kills a marriage...not because each person believes they're right. It kills it because each access made nicely rewards him with a sexual high which reinforces the actions. The indulgence becomes a complete lack of consideration; becomes justified as sex in the marriage wanes (because heaven forbid that she should want/ask for his physical attention), and then his "to hell with it" attitude...completely surrendering to the ease of his non-relationship sex. The addict becomes more and more attached to the instant high, and more and more resentful about the interruptions that reality makes into his cyber world. It's completely self-centered. It is not about loving another. It is not about giving. It's about getting. And if a man can get off with a computer, he soon loses interest in his wife (the needy bitch he created through neglect). I'm telling you, it's not about being right. My ex-husband said that it was his involvement in porn that killed our marriage. It was not the "lack" in our marriage (as some argue) that turned him to porn. Relationships require work. Porn is easy.

porn is not always the problem

The situation assumed in this article and the comments so far is that the man is watching porn and ignoring his wife who wants his sexual energy and attention. This is simply not the case in many marriages. The most frequent complaint among women, particularly in middle age after childbirths and the onset of menopause, is lack of desire. And in many of those cases, the wife is relieved not to be bothered for sex all the time.

So in the above case, one could argue that porn at least aids the relationship.

In other cases, a couple together both enjoy porn.

So, porn is not always a problem, and I am one of those people would would disagree with you and claim that in some cases it enhances a relationship, or at least does not harm it.

There are simply too many types of people and sexual interests to make such a silly blanket claim.

Your comments to some may

Your comments to some may come across harsh and bitter. But as a wife who suffered through the "porn addiction" of my husband I can attest that from the day I found his hidden secret our intimacy was permanently damaged. Thirteen years later we have become a couple who share no intimate moments. Looking back when I was told by my husband that his growing addiction to porn was no big deal and why should I be upset was the moment I should have walked away and never looked back.

I am lad you were honest "permanently Damaged"

You have made a very good point I hope women are able to retrain their brains to prevent what happened in your relationship. the words you used , to that EXTREME which are " permanently Damaged" concerning your intimacy was started in your head and you then used those feelings to feel betrayed and you initiated the disdain while trying to apparently place your value over non-factor model/ actors in a porn that your guy will never meet. The guy married or chose to be with you and you used the porn as a dagger to create a separation when you would have done well to separate your dislike from porn as opposed to creating an illusion your husband is cheating with porn...If women were to be honest as you have been in this post I think it can minimize the extremes women use to check out of the relationship and marriage. Again, the writer of the article is suggesting its not always the PORN that is the problem- in your case its your mindset of a ALL ME or nothing scenario and sexually and intimately you chose nothing and created this. I can only imagine how you made him feel like trash in doing this extreme thinking... it may not be intentional, but this is surely sad. How can anyone let a video take over their self esteem and worth and misdirect that there?

You made a lot of great points, but in your pointing of fingers you failed to say what made the man "check out of the relationship" long before the marriage ended.

Many men will say " its all my fault, it was me"... thats some men way of saying "I am tired of you!" and the porn is the things they know that particular women hates and they will throw it in the face of a hypocritical wife. A fault finding wife will 97% of the time choose to argue about porn but will not want to see her addiction to shopping for things that is making the family go into debt. I agree with the chronic porn addiction that affects the core of the marriage,yet, badgering,shaming, guilt tripping, and degrading a man has never endeared him to his wife,lover or girlfriend to choose either a once a month sex with the controlling wife,lover or girlfriend or self masturbation daily to stop from being frustrated. When you look at it from that perspective, why be married if your sex life dwindles to once a month and females friends keep feeding them garbage on how to get the man to open his wallet wider to her spending habits. When the man has had enough he just say "I want out" , no sex and the controlling behavior equals divorce. I wish many women could see themselves in the show Bridezilla and how that ugly part comes out later AGAIN and men wish they had of left these types at the alter. Its a two way street. Many women don't want an exit interview from their husbands where all truth is told because many women would never let men see the kids ever again if he was really truthfully honest and frank...lol. Whether your the man or woman in a relationship with someone who is addicted to anything, we all have to remember the person can feel as though you are saying they are not good and they need to choose the porn or them. The article is saying the ultimatum never works but many married women learn this after the fact, which sounds like the case here. Being patient with anyone addicted can sap energy out of a man too, who for instance is trying to help ween his wife off of painkillers. He goes to work and she is on a seedy part of town getting street drugs and having sex with multiple partners to pay for drugs. She may want him to see addiction to the pills but she also has alot of other bad habits and character defects. My point is, one sin seems so much bigger when its not yours, but when your not judging others sins and have time to look within you will notice how much patience we have to have with self that we don't always give to others.In closing, the point to the article is , that PORN is not always the problem, its just the problem one person wants to use to control showing the other person their fault. Being right doesn't always get you happiness as you learned I believe is the point

Right on!!

Right on!!

The right on comment was a

The right on comment was a reply to the ex-wife of a porn addict.

Perfect.

You hit the nail on the head.

Communication is important: about love and sex

There is nothing wrong with porn, there is nothing wrong with liking porn, but any interest that becomes an addiction or obsession can become a problem. An interest, a fetish, an appreciation... anything can be a turn on, but when that appreciation becomes dominant, when it starts interfering with life and relationships, when that thing is more important than the people in your life and more important than that person's life, there is a problem. The porn, the fetish, whatever that thing is that person likes is not the problem, the person needs help. There is something missing, or there is something wrong that may be so well hidden they don't know what it is, and this thing (porn in this case) becomes the scapegoat or obsession.

Porn can be considered a fetish, or maybe it's just something interesting that can't be explained why a person likes it. There is an interesting occurrence in life, if it exists it's probably on the internet, and there's probably porn of it, no matter how unique, unusual, beautiful or disgusting it might be. The standard, most commonly watched porn, involves one or two people, naked and involved in a sexual behavior. Chances are if a person were to search for porn on the internet or buy a magazine or video in stores where it's sold it would involve two women or a man and woman. Finding two men (like gay porn) takes a bit longer to find. The average viewer of porn involving women or an opposite-sex couple is men, and they are not watching because they want their partner/girlfriend/wife to do what they are watching, they are not watching because they want their partner to look like that, nor are they watching because they wish they could be with one of the people on screen (or on the page).

They watch because they can, because there is a naked women and they have boobs. Sometimes I think people look for more of a depth of reason behind porn than there needs to be. No offense to men, but most men (who like women) like breasts, for no other reason than they are breasts, that's it. It's kind of like liking chocolate. You can be a chef and bake the best desserts in the world, but you will still watch other people bake and cook. Just because someone watches porn doesn't mean they are going to find a different person to have sex with, they are simply watching sex because they can.

My husband likes porn, always has, long before I met him, just because we started having sex (oh so many years ago) doesn't mean he stopped watching porn. Our sex life right now is the best we've ever had and his like and interest in porn has not changed. His watching porn never affected our sex life, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe there were times when he was watching so much that he didn't want to have sex, I don't know because he didn't tell me. I do know that if told him I wanted to have sex, there's no way that watching porn can compare to his willing partner, naked in bed waiting for him. I think that applies to most men, or women who watch porn, if their partner is ready to have sex then that person is going to be chosen over watching porn. When a person chooses to watch porn over their partner, even when their partner has offered, then there might be a problem, and you should probably talk through what might be bothering you.

I didn't like porn and I didn't understand it when my husband and I were first together and I first found his porn magazines. I didn't confront him, I asked him, and yes there's a difference. He was embarrassed, and didn't know how to respond, and I was calm and said I loved him and it wouldn't change my opinion of him, and I was just curious. It's amazing the approach a person takes in a conversation can have on the outcome of that conversation. I discovered that the porn videos he had didn't show accurately, in my opinion, how a woman can be pleasured, I'll leave out the details, but let's just say that we found a new activity which involved me pointing out the inaccuracies and my husband correcting those wrongs with my body.

I have found porn that I truly enjoy watching. It's not because I want the person on screen, or because I wish my partner looked or acted different. We all can be attracted to different things, porn is just a different level of attraction. When don't watch porn together any more because we like different types of porn. We have had in depth conversations about what we like in bed, what we don't, what we are willing to try, and have even shopped for sex toys together. The one shop we really like have employees that feel like you're talking to a sex therapist. And there's no shame or embarrassment in talking about what we like and what we don't. The best compliment that can happen between a sexually active couple is when one person can give that much pleasure to the other. The intimacy and connection that we can create in the bedroom has translated over to our lives and we communicate better and more than we ever have outside the bedroom.

My advice for anyone in a relationship where one person likes porn and the other person is concerned is to keep an open mind, an open heart, and don't accuse or confront. Make sure that your dislike of porn isn't caused by your own doubts and insecurities in yourself and your relationship with your partner. I speak from experience here, and I got passed that when I decided to not take my partner watching porn personally. When we let go of our attachments and insecurities, we can discuss anything, and when we approach a conversation openly with a willingness to listen we can talk about anything and solve most problems.

Women are unfortunately taught a lesson that we don't even realize we are learning, we are not confident, men are. Men are put in positions of power, women aren't and those lessons, even if we don't think they exist, women pick up. Our men are not anxious to leave us, they aren't looking for something better, and when they say they love us and are happy and we are beautiful, believe your man! It is our own insecurities that make us question those compliments.

I realize I've focused on opposite sex couples here, but that certainly doesn't mean that only opposite sex couples are the only couples that deal with porn and the potential it has to be a problem. Everything I have said about insecurity and worry and wondering if you're enough for your partner and being upset that they might be looking for something different can apply to same sex couples as well, or transgender couples, or any other sexual relationship you might be in where you question why your partner looks at porn. Know that they are not choosing porn over you, they are not looking for something different, and it doesn't mean that you are not enough. If you've ever asked someone to do something for you (business, family, children, etc.) then you probably have found that when approaching a situation calmly with a willingness to listen and compromise then the outcome is usually acceptable and positive for both parties. The same thing in relationships. If you approach your partner with a willingness to listen and to understand each other, then anything can be resolved. Also realize that it's not about being right or wrong, and compromise isn't them giving up porn.

There is a difference between liking porn and being addicted to porn, an addiction is unhealthy and can damage a relationship. If it's an addiction, get help, and only the person addicted can get help and admit to needing help. Liking porn is not an addiction, even if that person watches it every day. If there is a problem and one person thinks that porn is the cause, then an open discussion might help. Communication is a two way street, it's talking and listening, it's helping the other person understand your perspective and willing to understand the other person's perspective.

Not just a river...

It sounds as if you are making one hell of a rationalization. Good luck with that. He is a lucky man.

You said it better than i could ...lol

Thank you for the knowledge and wisdom you shared, because the principle you shared is acceptance. The way one approaches another when discussing porn should be done with a person truly being open without pre judging. many women are afraid to admit they attacked men in the accusation using the " whats wrong with me" lame argument trying to ask men why they choose the porn over them. All the magazines from Cosmopolitan, to all the girly magazines brainwash women and that " he's cheating on me lusting after women in the porn video's" scenario blows everything into a narcisstic woman's favor with other women. I believe these types of articles allow us to discuss the subject without finger pointing and the shaming. hopefully your viewpoint will change may a woman"s views and hopefully save marriages if they adopt a new perspective, instead of using the old " your bad, negative, cheating and i am the victim of a dvd porn" ruinin our life...lol

Well said Laura, Your comment

Well said Laura,

Your comment is better than the article. Better than most articles I've read on the subject. Well done. Keep on with your bad, happy,confident, sexually satisfied self!

In Response to "Porn Is Not Always The Problem" aka it's probably just you

This is all very interesting but I tend to disagree with the person who posits that porn is not always problematic, though I can see this posters side intellectually, all things being equal and with me really reaching and pretending that we are robots without the ability to be influenced by outside forces. The notion that porn is positive is quite an alien and out of touch view in terms of reality as far as I am concerned. How can you not see pornography as being as blatantly sexist as it comes and a figurative wrecking ball to a person's sex life and self esteem? Especially given that study after study after study has proven that people b/c desensitized to stimuli (I am not going to name the studies b/c you have google and can easily access data, and believe you me it is out there).

As well saying that in mid life women are less affectionate due to menopause/child birth is quite bizarre, and again dehumanizing, and that makes me wonder if: a.)you are a man who has not the foggiest clue as to real women's sexual/emotional needs-which may be why porn appeals to you b.) you are operating from the stance of a draconian mindset (think pre-Victorian era even)c.) you are rationalizing and normalizing your own behavior d.) all the above and beyond. Well time to wake up to the year 2014. If the female(s) in your life are unresponsive it may have to do more with you than you think and less to do with your out dated notions. I suppose you think women should not wash their hair when menstruating. If the woman is menopausal and does not want sex, it may not be the menopause so much but the years of not being tended to as she should have been by her partner. Maybe she is tired. Who knows? Maybe the female in question finally realized her worth and will not pander any longer-a few decades of living with a man who sees a woman as meat could do it I am sure. You lump child birth into menopause-are you aware that usually they do not co-occur and are decades apart? There are numerous factors and to peg it on two or three is laughable.

My points are:

1. How can looking at digitally altered images of women "enhance" ones sex life, especially that of your female partner who is likely comparing herself to the spectacle that is porn? Life is not perfect and no one can compete with the constantly done up, air brushed, nip tucked, DDD breasted porn stars who like it, or pretend to like it, in every orifice? Do tell.

2.) How can watching totally unrealistic scenes with much acting give you any insight into what women want in bed or what is normal behavior? As if women like to have someone ejaculate into their face, have a threesome or (insert name of sexual act that is out there). It is fine if that is your thing but the majority of people are not as kinky as porn would have you think. Also do people really scream like they are having a fit as they do in porn? Is nothing short of a constantly moaning spectacle going to serve? Most men have not the foggiest idea about the female orgasm or how to please a woman (and I mean zero friend) and I think it is in part to men being duped by the porn industry into thinking women want the smut they peddle. Guess again.

3.)How is objectifying women, breaking them down into parts, a positive? Please tell me how exactly porn is liberating to women in particular and human kind as a whole? How can you be happy with one woman when you have an endless stream of nameless, faceless Jane Doe's. I am all ears.

I could go on and on but there is no need b/c you can access info but I have given you three thoughts to mull. I will say that I can feel the pain in the writing of the poster titled ex wife of porn addict and stories like that alone trump your callous disregard to feelings. Obviously your view of women is a poor one, I can almost smell it. I pray you do not have a daughter as you propagate misery upon women-porn actresses who sell out and the women who deal with the fall out-not to mention the ruin of relationships.

not all porn is digitally

not all porn is digitally enhanced, the unrealistic scenarios are just fantasies, pretty much what would go through your mind in a sexual fantasy scenario, men are objectified just like women in porn, at the end of the day most people understand the difference between porn and real sex, it's a fantasy it's voyeurism, it turns us on to watch other people have sex. As with any addiction it's not what you're addicted to but the underlying issue that leads you to find release in your vice of choice.

Porn is an Equal Opportunity Employer, thats how...

You are conveniently choosing scenarios that ONLY YOU find degrading to women to have men justify as non-liberating or non-empowering to women, but what ever happened to asking the women who get paid doing this for a living?

Lets ask the tax free, under the table working women in college or moonlighting in the strip club profession? Didn't Eve pass that apple to Adam in the garden of Eden? Lets not just denigrate men because it takes two to tangle. Call girls on craiglist don't have pimps like a prostitute walking the streets. these women are their own agents and they are professionals. I met a woman and she stated she was in the entertainment industry and she said not all strippers sleep with the patrons and she doesn't expect men to know this that's why she tells them she doesn't have "a price" because she will not have sex with them. Cash is and was her motivator, and each woman is different. These women don't think they are a "sell out' like you labeled them. just like Victoria Secret models flaunt barely anything on but its short of porn and they still pose in simi-nude spread layouts.

Maybe you have certain pet peeves and want to lash out at men because you have a axe to grind, but before you get your blood pressure up- you should do some research. Sex toys and parties to sell them have been a multi million dollar business in the last 7 years. Women are the top earners hosting these parties as one would a tupperware or Avon parties were. Interestingly enough women are the top sales associated and women are the top consumers spending millions to add erotica to their bedroom sexual sessions. So I don't know what ground hog hole you have been in, but women are playing a huge part in the sex trade and even if women are acting naive and gullible about porn and finger pointing at guys, women are being employed and are a driving force in sales. Blaming internet, and porn dvd's are only one avenue to scapegoat. Look at areas where women are capitalizing, its like doing a count of candles and who are the consumers-women...lets not be so innocent...lol

Sex trade: Women who sold their daughters

Here is the link...
http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/12/world/cambodia-child-sex-trade/

I don't think they learned this from men because not all women take instruction from men. this is about Cambodia, but american women have unprotected sex get pregnant and are eligible for Section 8 free housing and Government benefits. Minority families have done this forever, and the women are equally responsible for the breakdown of the family. here is the link

Very good response. I worry

Very good response.
I worry about the future generations who have been bought up on porn. There is no respect for women anymore.
Young guys now expect facials and anal sex from their girlfriends. They don't understand the whole process, you need to be clean and it's edited so they can lubricate and clean up afterwards. Frequently actresses have to have reconstructive anal surgery. guys don't see that side.
Porn has really messed our view of what sex really is, it's not about stuffing as many holes as possible. Again it's a power thing.

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Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W. has 40 years of clinical experience. He is author of 6 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally.

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