In addition to what we both clamor and hesitate to share online, noting our strong reactions to the postings and profiles of others give us an opportunity to see ourselves more clearly. Read More
Yes it's true. It shows a lot. It's a good way to look critically at yourself.
To me Facebook is all about looking for approval. And that is negative to me, that's me. I don't like the idea of basing my confidence on what people think of me. If I depend on their approval to feel good than I am not independent.
I have a fake Facebook from humor site personage for fun, experimenting and partly to observe. There's such a girl that has lot's of self-pity. I try to help her by not saying "I feel with you" but by confronting her. I say "you need to accept yourself" and tell her how I had trouble with it myself. I don't think I had done that though if it was on my real Facebook. If I see that's she's not making progress I might actually say something more confronting, like "stop with the self-pity it won't help you."
Ok, now about me. I told you that I did not like Facebook, there are several reasons (my theories):
-I feel no connection to my society, I feel connection to the minorities and the outsiders. I dress like outsiders, like movie criminals. I even don't get emotional when a horrible incident happens in my country, but I do get emotional, I cry sometimes, when people from outside of my country are hurt, especially minorities. I think because of experiences and my parents. I feel no connection to my parents.
-I am not that social. I score very high on the Dark Triad, but I don't know if this test is reliable:
Almost all I score 3 from the 4. The perfect balance between the Dark Triad.
Also on the big five test I score low on agreeableness.
I don't care much about what other people do. And if I look at what people post on my fake Facebook (and my real one*), it doesn't interest me at all, it actually bores me. Sometimes it even causes disgust.
I do care about having a emotional connection, true friendship or true love. I lack that and I miss it. The friends I have are not true friendship to me. They are like mutualism but there's no strong bond.
-I am insecure about (what to do with) it.
*I tried it. I was kind of anxious about it. Like I said I did not care about what the others post. But I was a bit jealous.
One close friend did things with others he did not do with me. But I don't blame him, he's close to me, but I don't feel a strong bond.
I also had no idea what I should post. I'm like "it's non of you business what I do and I don't seek approval", if you want to know what I do ask me.
And the thing is, a lot of people I don't consider to be friends at all but they added me.
I was also insecure about my lack of Facebook friends. It doesn't bother me that I have few friends, I thought I wanted more friends but I don't, I want quality not quantity, it was society who told me.
Anyway I'm afraid others would judge me because of my lack of Facebook friends.
So to me, not having Facebook is better. I really can't act as if I'm interested to what my friends post (though I don't have to), because it bores me, they never say anything thought provoking, scientific or radically new.
Facebook is popular society, the exact thing I feel disconnected with. Me having Facebook is like asking a Christian to worship the devil or a feminist approving domestic violence. I have build my own society inside me with my own rules, Facebook goes against my belief.
I feel that having Facebook would ruin my reputation and bring unnecessary insecurity to me. This may be negative: but I enjoy building a mystery around me. Let them guess what I do.*
I wouldn't mind something that is less about what people do but more about having 1 on 1 conversations with people you know. Yes I prefer 1 on 1 conversations.
Hence I prefer Skype, but nobody seems to use that.
*Girls that I know little of attract me the most. Funny, one girl I was very badly attracted to (sort of love), is like me, non-existent on the internet. That makes me want her even more.
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Jennifer Hamady specializes in emotional issues that interfere with optimal self-expression and is the author of The Art of Singing. more...
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