Finding Love

A new map of the path to intimacy
by Ken Page, LCSW

Deeper Dating: The Three Steps That Lead to Love

A message for all single people: The way we search for love usually determines the kind of love we find. Our culture assails us with romanticized images of love, yet encourages us to play dehumanizing games in order to find it. The three steps I describe will lead you toward real love, but they will also enrich your life, because they are the skills of true intimacy. Read More

An Interview With Marianne Williamson: The Essential Steps To Finding Love

I’m honored to have Marianne Williamson share her wise insights about the path to romantic love. Marianne is one of America’s most beloved spiritual teachers, and the New York Times bestselling author of numerous spiritual classics. In this interview, she shares some invaluable--and unexpected--insights about how to find and keep true love. Read More

Two Tools For Changing Your Life That Don't Require Willpower

If you're looking for more happiness and greater intimacy in the year ahead, here are two of the most valuable tools I know. Don't be deceived by the comfort and pleasure they bring; these are direct paths to profound life-change. Try them out, and enjoy the deliciously subversive experience of learning through joy. Read More

The Secret Story Behind Your Romantic Attractions

Almost all of us create a personal "myth of lost love" to explain why love has hurt us in the past. Unexamined, this powerful myth leads to painful relationships with people who aren't good for us. Decoded, it illuminates our most tender, authentic self; the very self that can lead us to love. This post will help you discover your own myth of lost love. Read More

How Even A Flawed Spiritual Practice Can Lead You to Love

This short practice is a life-enhancing tool for finding love. It liberates waves of buried passion, and channels that passion to change the course of our intimacy lives. There’s no rigid meditation recipe to follow. All you need is your longing for love and ten minutes a day. Even if your focus is terrible (as mine is), it still works—if you put your heart into it. Read More

How Your Greatest Insecurities Reveal Your Deepest Gifts

In my decades of practice as a psychotherapist, this is the insight that has inspired me most: Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts. I've found that the very qualities we're most ashamed of, the ones we keep trying to reshape or hide, are in fact the key to finding real love. I call them core gifts. Read More

The Brave Shortcut To Love

No matter what you've been told, no matter what you've feared to be true, the search for love is essentially neither a race against time nor a hunt for a needle in the haystack. It's a journey toward intimacy, and we shape that journey by the roads we choose. In this post, I want to suggest a shortcut for the brave of heart. Read More

The Single Person's Thought Leader Series: Gay Hendricks, Ph.D.

I'm delighted to introduce the Single Person's Thought Leader Series, in which I will interview some of the most exciting thinkers in psychology, science, spirituality and other fields, each with something vital to say about the search for love. I begin this series with Gay Hendricks, PhD; one of the most renowned teachers in the field of conscious intimacy. Read More

How To Love Yourself First

Everyone's heard this platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth; if we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love ourselves-again and again-by the people around us. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of intimacy, not of will-power. Read More

What's Your Crucial Step Toward Love?

We're taught that the search for love is a numbers game, with odds stacked in favor of the most attractive. Well, we've been taught wrong! When we approach dating as an intimacy journey rather than a numbers game, our whole experience changes for the better. What are your own intimacy lessons? Your answer to one question can reveal them: Read More

Recognizing Your Attractions of Deprivation

Why do our most intense romantic passions so often end in disaster? There is an insight which can help us unravel this mystery: Our most painful attractions actually arise from our deepest intimacy gifts. This post will help you recognize your own attractions of deprivation, but, even more important, it will help you identify the intimacy gifts that they conceal. Read More

Attractions of Inspiration and Attractions of Deprivation


If I could only share one insight with my single readers, it would be this: Learn to distinguish between your "attractions of deprivation" and your "attractions of inspiration." Then, only follow your attractions of inspiration.  Read More

A Message of Hope For Anyone Seeking A Relationship

If you’re looking for love, there’s great reason to be hopeful. As a psychotherapist who specializes in the search for intimacy, I’ve seen that healthy love is closer than we think—if we just change the way we look for it. Read More

Learning Through Pleasure—How A Dating Buddy Can Transform Your Search For Love

What offers wisdom and pleasure, is free, and can change your entire romantic future? A dating buddy. A dating buddy is a friend and co-coach in one of the most defining tasks of your life; your search for a mate. If you follow no other suggestion than this one, your dating life will change. Read More

The Single Greatest Threat to New Relationships -- and What to Do About It

The most common way we sabotage new love possibilities is through what I call the Wave of Distancing (or simply, the Wave). The Wave occurs when we unconsciously push a caring and available person away by inwardly diminishing his or her worth. Our lack of training in the phenomenon of the Wave has led to the loss of countless relationships. Read More

The Most Important Journey of Our Lives

I'm Ken Page, LCSW, a psychotherapist whose work focuses on the search for intimacy. I'm delighted to begin this blog for single people and those who support them in their growth. It's a subject very close to my heart. Read More

Ken Page, LCSW, is a New York based psychotherapist, author and lecturer specializing in the search for intimacy. His insights about the search for love have been featured frequently in the media.

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Are You with the Right Mate?

It is natural to wonder if your partner is the right one for you.