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For many people, financial happiness is elusive. Dealing with money is a struggle and we confuse our values with a what the media tells us we should care about. Creating financial satisfaction requires time, expertise and the desire to objectively examine your financial present and map out a course to a bountiful financial future. Unfortunately, many people fail to make the changes necessary to move from a degraded financial position or inertia to financial freedom. It seems that people fall into one of three categories in how they handle their financial lives and therefore thrive or fail accordingly. We avoid dealing with our financial situation, we try and handle it ourselves or we find someone to walk with us to success. Let's explore further.
Avoiders probably grew up not being aware of money or you grew up in a home where money created conflict. Your reaction is to withdraw and not deal; it sounds safe and in its own way, pretty logical. However, avoiding your money issues increases your chances of disaster exponentially. The old axiom, what you don't know can't hurt you is filled with the potential for a whole lot of pain. Dealing with your money problems isn't as painful as you imagine and certainly not as bad as the likely outcome the longer you avoid it. Begin by acknowledging that you are an avoider and that it is, as Einstein said, insane to continue to do the same thing and expect a different result.
Controllers are do-it-yourselfer'sand maintains a strong belief that they are smarter than everyone else and no one can do it as well as they can. This magical thinking, for most people, is as destructive as the avoider. This behavior is typically a result of a money history that featured similar actions or hearing parents who were openly hostile to outside help. The fact is, most people haven't the time or expertise to research and objectively understand all the aspects of money and financial planning. There's a big difference between grouting your bathtub and properly attending to your financial present and future. The controller mentality says that they do not value expertise and experience. This point of view is limited and does not considering other possibilities, such as someone is more capable or there will be a time when they are unable to hold the reins. The result is chaos for everyone involved.
Delegator's fall into two categories; the first is the abdicators and the second the collaborators. The former says, "I don't understand this stuff, you just tell me what to do." These delegator's are in grave danger and mostly rely on luck if they select their advisors with the same recklessness. They are liable to pick the wrong advisor and be led down a path of financial destruction. Choosing a financial advisor should not be a hit or miss proposition. Collaborators, on the other hand, take the time to research who they are working with and find an alignment of values, philosophies and attitudes. Collaborators value the help but are unwilling to blindly follow offered advice. Collaborators work together with their advisor to co-create a plan that best represents their goals, dreams and desires.
Where are you?
The reasons we find ourselves in one of these camps stems from our past and what we observed or experienced in our early years. These observations became our normal" and have either supported or detracted from our ability to live a more successful life. Think back to your money history and the lessons you learned; see if you can draw a line from the past to the present to better understand why you avoid, control or delegate. Consider whether you need to replace money messages that create stress or problems in your life with new messages that are supportive and positive.
Finding a Financial Planner isn't as daunting as you might imagine. Begin with your local FPA (Financial Planning Association-www.fpanet.org/) or NAPFA (National Association of Personal Financial Advisors- www.napfa.org) and look for planners in your area. You can also go on the sites for Money Quotient(www.moneyquotient.org) or The Kinder Institute (www.kinderinstitute.com) and look for planners who are trained in a holistic approach to money and planning. When speaking with a planner, ask meaningful questions about their approach, experience and fee structure. Find out if they earn their income via commission or by fee; ask if they adhere to a Fiduciary Standard or if they are acting as brokers or registered representatives. Ask for references and ask if they have been the subject of industry fines or legal proceedings.
Life is difficult enough without trying avoiding the issues, trying to do it yourself or working with the wrong professionals. Your money life doesn't have to be a mystery or the source of frustration-invest the time necessary to build a roadmap to a successful money life, collaboratively and joyfully.
