Last week, somewhat on a whim, I brought home a ten-week old puppy. My wife and I were thrilled, our fourteen year-old Bichon less so - and we all had forgotten about the sleepless nights of whining and whimpering. Here we are with a four-pound ball of fluff and energy, waking up every two to three hours during the night to escape from her crate. If I leave the equation at sleepless nights and puppy messes, it was a terrible decision to bring her home. But the reality is, she's now a part of our family. After a few days, Simon, our Bichon, begrudgingly wags his tail at her, but has already learned to flee when she pounces on him, signaling her unilateral decision that it is indeed playtime. We are hopeful that someday soon we will look back on these days and say, "Hey, that wasn't soooooo bad!" Sleeplessly, I await that day with great expectation. Meanwhile, the pain persists.
What does all this have to do with money, financial success and happiness? Perhaps this example will help.
I am meeting with a couple that has come to me to help them step gracefully into retirement. The golden age of retirement: it's what they've been thinking and talking about for years. They are both cancer survivors who have enjoyed full and engaging careers. Unfortunately, though, they didn't plan very well. Their spending was unrestrained and their investments lacked the essentials of an effective portfolio: performance, diversification, cost-effectiveness, tax-management and a purpose behind it all. In other words, their situation was lacking structure and therefore their ability to retire was more a wish than a reality. Now it was time for us to come up with a Plan B.
"I am glad we are meeting today to review our preliminary findings. I know that, thus far, the process has been difficult for you. I think you have acknowledged that you need a better system for tracking and reviewing your financial life. That is an important and necessary start to financial responsibility. Without good information, you do not have the ability to look at reality."
Marsha nodded slowly. "Michael, I'm not going to lie. This has been a tough process, but it has also been a necessary wakeup call for both Robert and I. We have been avoiding this for so long, telling ourselves that we are so busy with work and the rest of our lives that the financial things will take care of themselves. Robert has tried to maintain things the best he can, but honestly, I have been no help."
"Marsha and I have had so many sleepless nights since this began. There've been too many arguments and too many tears. We are realizing our immaturity in not taking ownership of our poor decisions and our lack of care concerning our financial life. We need a fresh start."
"I am very pleased to hear that you've grown so much and so quickly through this process. I will assure you of one thing: you are both going to need to lean on each other and support each other into your next phase. I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, but I need you to realize that mistakes at this point could be disastrous." I take a breath to give them a chance to digest my words and to steel myself for the next part of the conversation.
"I am afraid that your desire to retire this spring is not possible. There are simply too many wild cards and issues working against your move at this point. You are counting on selling your house at a particular price and then buying a new one that appears too expensive for your budget; there's too much you don't know about your new life that needs to be factored into your plan. We need a Plan B and we need more time."
Marsha and Robert looked at each other, both unable to speak. Robert looked especially deflated, probably because he had been assuring her of their early retirement all this time. After a few minutes, Marsha broke the ice.
"OK, well, we both want to retire. But, if we can't retire now, we will just have to keep working and get our affairs in order. Michael, please give a list of what we need to do. I don't care what we have to do - we'll figure this out and move forward."
And so they did. Sure, things could have been easier if they'd planned better. But together we made it work.
What does all this have to do with puppies? Like Marsha and Robert, we should have planned better before jumping in. Like them, we also had unrealistic expectations. Like them, we agreed to do whatever necessary to make it work. Now, several weeks later, Chloe has jumped, scratched and licked her way into our hearts. Her sleeping patterns are beginning to improve, she's learning where to do her business, and I am sleeping more than forty-five minutes at a clip. Even Simon is willing to stay in the same room with her exuberant puppiness. I am starting to feel a small sense of comfort that it will all work out.
