I'm flying to the west coast for a four-day conference and training, an opportunity to learn, listen and share with other life planners from around the country. This time away from the daily cycle of meetings, phone calls, emails, and other routine issues is a gift. The parts of my brain that have been focused on solving problems, listening to clients, and working with colleagues will be shut down in favor of the part that will open to receive others' wisdom, knowledge, experience and view of the world. I welcome the change - not because I dislike or am tired of the former, but because this time allows me to bring back a better, smarter and more attuned me.
"Oh sure," I can hear you thinking. "He'll be fully absorbed in his conference...until his iPhone buzzes." It's true; I have in my past, attended some conferences in this fashion, rushing to an empty room at each break to check in with the office for the fiftieth time that day. But not anymore. In addition to needing this time away for myself, I've seen that it really does help my business. I will have the opportunity to see how effectively my office operates without my daily guidance and control. Knowing what's working and what's not is important for any business owner; after all, if everything grinds to a halt the minute you leave the office, your business is in BIG trouble. So, not only do I get to rejuvenate and learn from the best and brightest, I also get a view on how well my colleagues and employees function. Benefits abound!
So what does this have to do with your money and your life? Let me ask you a question. What would it look like if you took a step back from your daily activities to review your spending each quarter? What would it look like if you had your spouse or partner manage the finances for a month? It's easy to see how we learn from action, but how do we learn from inaction? Sometimes, taking a step away from the action can be surprisingly effective.
Not long ago, I met with a couple where the husband handled all the money functions. His wife was totally kept out of the process. I asked her how she felt about that.
"John handles all the money. I guess it's fine with me," she shrugged.
John spoke up quickly. "Look, it's not that you're incapable of handling finances. It's just that I have it down to a science. I pay the bills, reconcile the account and review the budget and it takes me no time at all."
"How do you feel about that, Sharon?" I asked.
"He's so right, he's done in a flash. He's wonderful at it. Still, I do wish I understood some of what he was doing."
"John, what do you think?"
John squirmed a bit, not quite sure how to answer. There was an elephant in the room.
I allowed the silence to linger a few seconds before asking,
"What happens if John dies unexpectedly or is laid up in the hospital?"
Six months later, Sharon and John returned for our next meeting. John had agreed to work with Sharon with the goal of her handling the finances without aid.
Sharon spoke first. "It's been an interesting several months. I have done all the finances solo for the last two months. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, it's just learning the steps. John has been very patient, as he promised he would. The computer program has been very helpful, especially in looking at the budget."
John sat quietly
"What have you learned?" I asked.
Sharon chuckled. "I learned that John's been short-cutting a bit." She looked over at John, smiling. "He hadn't been allocating our expenses with as much detail as is useful. For example, John's been lumping a lot of costs into ‘household' expenses and I split them into more defined categories: lawn service, repairs, snow removal, dry cleaning, telephone, cable, etc. In doing this, I discovered that we are spending more than we really need to. After discussing all this together, we are now working to pare down some of these costs. Our savings rate is already up considerably in the last couple of months!"
"This sounds like a great success. Congratulations to you both. Sometimes, another view is just what's needed to bring positive change."
The Captain has announced that we'll be starting our descent soon. Looking out the window, I see the sun bouncing off the mountains, the Pacific Ocean and white puffy clouds. I look forward to the week ahead with great expectancy; the change of scenery is just what I need.