My Daughter's Wedding and Life Transitions!

I walked, with my daughter on my arm. We walked from the door, approximately fifteen feet and stopped. She turned her head, to look at me, a broad smile across her face and I kissed her cheek-goodbye. My wife and I walked together, alone with our individual thoughts, to our assigned spot. My daughter's soon-to-be husband took her arm and walked her the rest of the way to begin the ceremony. I stood there, as witness and in wonder. A page turning, a chapter ending, a chapter beginning. All the while, I wonder how this all happened? It was yesterday when we brought her back from the hospital all pink and baby-smelling, wasn't it? Meanwhile, a diamond-etched smile spread across my face, diverting the tears of joy, in a broad arc around my cheeks to the waiting collar of my tuxedo. It was a very good day!
Life transitions are like that. If we remain present and aware of them, we have a better chance of managing them. The other end of that spectrum is to not plan, to bury one's head in the sand and when transition hits, the fury of its force can debilitate one into stultifying inaction. Our life is packed with transitions, big and small and sometimes even the most seemingly small change can leave one in a state of pain and confusion. Several weeks ago, I met a woman who, while sharing a bit about her life, told me that her son just got his driver's license and ever since, she has felt extremely sad. I asked her what this event meant to her. She thought about it for a while and then said, "I remember getting my license, it meant freedom and changed my life." I smiled and nodded. Another transition on the books!
Life changes can, and usually do come with financial underpinnings. Whether it was the check made out to the caterer, band, florist or invitation printer or the purchase of a car, additional auto insurance and increased repair, maintenance and fuel costs; there's a price tag. The question is, can you prepare adequately both financially and emotionally for those future changes we see on the horizon? The answer is a definite "maybe." Maybe? Yes, maybe. Whether you are able to handle these issues, both financially and emotionally is a function of your willingness to accept change and ability to integrate your financial realities with your desires. You must be willing to make changes in order to reach the stated objective. If the desired outcome is not that important, the chance of effectuating meaningful change is slim to none; whether it is saving for retirement, college education or a cash reserve. You must ask yourself "why" this is important and necessary. If you can't convince yourself that it is a "must," you are probably wasting your time on nothing more than a wish.
There are life transitions that are very difficult or impossible to predict; death, disability, divorce or job loss come to mind. Can anyone adequately prepare for these major life shifts? The answer is another definite "maybe." While you may buy life and disability insurance, and accumulate assets to protect against the financial impact of job loss (at least in the short term); these major life events are emotionally devastating and may challenge you ability to recover and move forward. With the help and support of family, friends and perhaps the aid of mental health professionals, we can rediscover our equilibrium. Money alone does not heal the pain of loss; but lack of planning and preparation exacerbates the problem to a greater degree.
I watched my daughter and new son's smiling faces-wrapped in the prayer shawl my grandmother gave to me. I felt a twinge of pain nestled somewhere in the joy radiating from this beautiful couple's faces. I knew their lives would take on a new aspect as they experienced their own life transition, from daughter and son to husband and wife. Yes, they will always be our children, but they will now walk a path of their own design. I will urge them to be mindful of the challenges life may present them with; to be prepared financially for what may come. But right now, I will savor every moment of this joyous day.