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Aren't some just truly boring?

What if it wasn't your parents that said this though? What if your friends say you are weird or boring? What if your dates or people who answered your personal ads said you were ugly and had nothing to offer? Isn't that a pretty good indication it's the truth?

...

So what if your friends say you are weird? Do you think you're weird? Try this... next time someone tells you that you're weird, spin it differently in your brain so that you instead hear the word "unique". If your friends truly thought you were 'weird' in a repulsive kind of sense, I doubt they'd still be your friends.

So what if someone tells you you're boring? Do you think you're boring? Try this... next time your friend tells you you're boring, suggest something the two of you can do. Aw, they rejected your offer? Now they're the boring one. My point isn't that its a contest to see who can drum up better activities to partake in, but that your friends words are just words. You cant control what comes out of peoples mouths, but you sure as hell can control how you perceive/interpret them.

"What if your dates or people who answered your personal ads said you were ugly and had nothing to offer? Isn't that a pretty good indication it's the truth?"

NO!!!

People used to say the earth was flat! Everyone has an opinion, and most will give it to you whether or not you ask. Doesn't mean you have to take that opinion home with you and it certainly doesn't mean you have to incorporate it into who you are. You are the only person capable of molding yourself into who you wish to be... don't let peoples words/opinions become your guide post.

no not at all. These are

no not at all. These are peoples perceptions of you. I'll meet people who will say I am boring and ugly, what are these? They are opinions of me, they do not define me unless I let them and play them out the next time I meet someone. Likewise, People will say I am sexy and quite interesting. Again, all this is someone holding an opinion of me. Their views and ideas of me are their own not mine. How I view and see myself is important, not how i let the views of others influence or try to define me.

If you are getting this from your friends and dates then its because somewhere you listened to this and you took it into your subconscious mind, and act it out unconsciously every time you meet someone new, because the ego needs an identity, and it dont care what kind it is as long as it has something to latch onto. There is way more than just not having enough to say, it goes way deeper into psychology.

As for the author of this article, it's people like you and countless others saying this to people "These self-deprecating ideas are very difficult to change" they are NOT! dont you see you are doing more harm than good with statements like this? You are just re-enforcing what they already believe and give them more reasons to want to fail. You forget, in the eyes of the unaware, you Therapists with your PhD's and such are seen as teachers or all knowing by these people, so they take your word as the word of god. "Oh I read a psychologist said this or that, so it must be true"

The reason it seems hard is because people do not discipline themselves enough, dont not listen to themselves in the right ways enough, do not trust themselves enough, do not understand themselves enough, believe stuff like that I have just pointed out.

Its easy to change, all you have to do is want it. I dont mean want it as in take a passing fancy you might like to try half heartily. I mean you must want it where it becomes a goal, and absolute must that you have to attain, because nothing else will suffice should you fall short of it in anyway. The second part is awareness, the rest will fall into place.

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Fredric Neuman, M.D. is the Director of the Anxiety and Phobia Center at White Plains Hospital.

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