Family Secrets

How families are changing and not changing in our multicultural computer-centric world.

Sexting - What’s the big deal?

When sexual curiosity gets out of hand

It's perfectly normal for teens and preteens to be sexually curious. Sex is fascinating, after all-whether you're thirteen or forty, whether you're years away from engaging in it or deeply involved in enjoying it. A friend told me she remembers when she was about twelve, sneaking into her father's medical library with her girlfriends and pouring over his anatomy texts. "The books were filled with pictures of penises and vaginas, and we thought we were being so daring!" she said, adding, "It's kind of quaint when you consider what kids are into today!"

Yes, indeed. If our kids' sexually curious behavior was confined to rifling through textbook photos of male and female genitalia, we probably wouldn't have much to worry about. But we live in an online era-and sometimes being naturally curious can get young people into a lot of trouble.

According to a recent Los Angeles Times article by David Kelly, four teenage boys in southern California posted nude and semi-nude photos of a group of fourteen- and fifteen-year-old girls on a social networking site. The boys are being sought for possession of harmful matter depicting a person under eighteen and sexual exploitation of a minor.

So how did the boys get the pictures in the first place? A spokeswoman for the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department said that the photos had initially been sent by the girls to their friends. The girls had no intention of having the photos posted online, but that's what happened.

sexting/pinonSending nude or semi-nude photos via cell-phone or computer is referred to as "sexting," and according to statistics given in the article, one in five teenagers has done it.
For some teens, engaging in sexually provocative behavior is part of the natural process of experimenting with one's sexuality. This process may involve something as relatively harmless as showing up at a pool party in a scanty bikini or as potentially harmful as circulating a nude photo of yourself-which may later appear online.


Sexually explicit images-of young females as well as males-on social networking sites and elsewhere on the Internet, even if they are originally intended only for friends, can result in abduction and sexual exploitation. Young people need to be aware not only of the legal ramifications of their online activities, but also the risks they face from online predators.

Sharing nude or partially-nude pictures of yourself can have unintended emotional consequences as well. Caught up in the spontaneity of the moment, kids do all kinds of wild and crazy things. But they may not realize until it's too late that a provocative prank can easily turn into a humiliating experience.

 - Dr. Ana Nogales



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Ana Nogales is a clinical psychologist and well-known media personality, columnist, speaker, and advocate for victims of domestic violence.

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