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Living with prosopagnosia.

The "Lost" Child

My inner child has always cried for acceptance and friendship.
Glenn Alperin
This post is a response to Mourning for My "Lost" Experiences by Glenn Alperin

The boy felt so lonely.  It was almost as if each day felt like torture unto itself.  Even such a seemingly simple activity as playing tag was far from simple, and served only to increase the loneliness, the sense of isolation he felt.

It didn't help that he also didn't understand how to be socially appropriate.  Who could really blame him, especially when he had no idea who he was trying to be sociable with?  

This was not lost on the other children who tormented him either.  They may not have understood the depths of his challenges or his sense of desolation, but it seemed to the boy that they simply didn't care.  It was so fun for them to tease him.  He, in turn, turned inward, eventually giving up all hope of any level of sociability.  He would carve out his own path in life, and if it was without them, so be it.  

Time passed.  The boy eventually became an adult, and although he could not relive his childhood, he now had choices available to him which he didn't have as a child.  Shyly, tentatively, he began to tear down the brick wall he had built up around himself for his own protection.  

He never had a chance as a child.  He tried so hard, but it was not to be.  Only when he became an adult did he give himself, and life, another chance.  

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He still isn't sure he made the right choice, but it was the best choice he could have made given his circumstances.  He still lives with his tormentors inside him.  He wants to break free.  He wishes he knew how.

If only he had another chance to do it all over again.  Maybe things would have been different.  Maybe.  Maybe not.

 

©2012 Glenn Alperin

Teaser image courtesy of Photobucket

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Glenn Alperin is a writer who has prosopagnosia.

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